tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33366271918572375032024-03-13T01:46:20.205-05:00King In Me"The Gospel...reconciles bastards to sonship and redeems slaves to kings. King In Me." Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-47648224535555091502014-01-15T17:14:00.001-06:002014-01-15T17:14:24.889-06:00What Kind Of Man Is This?So I've ruined my life by agreeing to a January Gospel Challenge with a friend of mine to read through The Gospels in the New Testament. We began in the book of Matthew, and in typical fashion, I started out assuming that I had read the book in its entirety before.<br />
<br />
But I was wrong.<br />
<br />
By the 5th chapter I was quickly beginning to realize that I had not read the book in bulk, which probably means I've just been jumping in and out of it like double dutch. But in doing that, I have been missing out on struggling with the tension of Jesus and His wide range of emotions. I'll explain.<br />
<br />
As I was reading ALL the red lettering, naturally I'm a little bit more alert because "Shut up, the Son of God is talking." But the more I read the more I felt myself responding as if I was on the first day of school and the teacher was going over the syllabus and I'm thinking to myself, "This semester is about to be awful." That feeling of discomfort when you're seeing what's expected of you for the semester, and you sit there thinking about how I'll have no social life or fun or how dreary my life is going to be because I'll have to spend weekends studying while my friends are living these exciting lives. It almost feels that way in the Book of Matthew when Jesus is dishing out teaching about the Kingdom of Heaven and how we should treat each other. But I made the mistake and kept reading, wanting to be self disciplined since I had made a commitment, I stuck at it and the more I read the more I found myself asking the question....<br />
<br />
What kind of man is this? <br />
<br />
This guy doesn't sound like the man that is preached about in the average American church. Because as I was reading, I was nervous for my life! He didn't seem like this blonde haired beanie baby holding, coffee sipping man that was begging for me to choose Him. How I was reading it, to follow Jesus you have one option, to die. And that was either die to yourself, or die by yourself. There wasn't any discussion of whether to be Pentecostal or Baptist, Reformed or Dispensationalist, black church or white church, it was simply repent or suffer. Nothing else. No other options. No sweetened message that made us laugh and cry, it was Jesus Himself, speaking with the authority of God pronouncing death to the wicked, but promising redemption to the wicked that would choose to believe in Him. <br />
<br />
And it completely ruined my life. <br />
<br />
Interesting how the word of God can do that. Because I was seriously asking the question, "What kind of man is this? Like, what kind of man have I chosen to follow?" I don't think I can be the same Claude anymore. And surely that's what He intended. Because the Claude that came to Him with weeping eyes that salvation day signed on the dotted line, but He didn't count the cost. And I've been like Peter, wanting to be fully devoted to our King, but when the pressure gets tough would deny Him by our consistent inconsistencies. And many of us know how Peter's life ended up later. Jesus restored Him. Or its probably even safe to say Peter never failed Him, because He knows we're going to screw up. <br />
<br />
What contrasting behavior. I mean here's a man that is speaking with authority, serious about the sins of the world. Serious about how we treat other people. Serious about how we live our lives. Serious about falling short of His standard and measuring the consequences. It was like reading about a drill sergeant turned soccer dad, one minute He's sternly speaking to His children, commanding repentance and obedience, and then He's concerned about whether we've had dinner yet. It was remarkable to deal with the tension. How He rebuked sin but invited the sinner into relationship with Him. What are we to do with that? <br />
<br />
I think we struggle, just like with everything else. A consistent thing I'm seeing in churches is a very irregular balancing of the tension between the character of our Lord. We seem to have a hard time with balancing the wrath and the love of God, so typically preachers lean more heavily towards one of the other sides. Grace churches doesn't want to scare people into salvation, so they focus a lot of the love of God. And the wrath churches doesn't want to give people the impression that there's a license to sin because of how sufficient God's grace is. But guess what?<br />
<br />
The tension is necessary for appropriate worship.<br />
<br />
The Good News is not good if it doesn't invade bad spaces. That's where the kindness of the Lord is experienced. Not that He's a gentleman and jealous for us like a stalker boyfriend, but His kindness is that He should kill us because of our sin, but He doesn't because of His love. That tension of undeserving grace is necessary for appropriate worship. Because the wrath helps you understand how undeserving we are of the relationship. And I've experienced many wonderful times of worship when I've found myself grievious of my own actions and thoughts, and the truth of His covenant with me brings me to proper worship. So underserving. What kind of love is this? <br />
<br />
What kind of man is this? That offers us such an unexplainable love? Justly judges the sinner, but lovingly redeems the sinner. Embrace the tension. And remember, to follow Jesus you only have one option....<br />
<br />
To die. <br />
<br />
Either die to yourself, or die by yourself.<br />
<br />
Thank you Book of Matthew. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-85577671339523017492014-01-05T10:25:00.002-06:002014-01-05T10:25:39.117-06:00Wedding Day FaithI'm becoming more and more convinced that our good Lord has landed me in this season to teach me this very simple truth, "Son, I am all you need".<br />
<br />
Now getting to that has not been an easy journey, as a matter of fact, it has been dreary and painful. I've heard, Jesus is enough, preached many times. As a matter of fact, I've even preached it! But what I have quickly learned is that, many times you don't know whether your faith is real or not until its tested. Hence the title of the blog, Wedding Day Faith. <br />
<br />
I think our culture is extremely interesting when it comes to marriage. And, I'm saying that with alarming sarcasm. It amazes me that young girls have dreamed about their wedding day before they are even in training bras. I'm a guy, so I don't understand the fascination of the wedding dress, with it's flowing train and silk tulle veils, that brings women to tears. I don't understand the shows, "Say Yes to That Dress", when women speak of finding the perfect dress as if it's a first love by saying things like, "You'll just know". But even as I watched the show with my mom, these passionate soon-to-be brides are exhibiting many red flags of how awful of a wife they are about to be. They're selfish, arrogant, self-centered, rude, and all I can think about is the fact that her behavior is acceptable because it's "her day".<br />
<br />
Well of course it's "her" day. She's the one that designed the martial covenant, so she's the star of what marriage is representing. Right? (Again, alarming sarcasm) <br />
<br />
And I don't even know how we got here, but it's pretty bad. Many young girls are so aggressive about being married, seemingly, (meaning I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt now), more concerned about the glory of the wedding day than the glory of the marriage. And I've been to a few weddings, the thing is about 32 minutes. Any longer and the young ring bearer is disrupting the service because he's hungry and wants his Cheerios. So there seems to be no concern of what we're really getting ourselves into. There is no accurate description of the seriousness of the covenant, yes we do the vows thing but that's part of the ceremony, not me actually saying vows to anybody. And it shows that we have no idea what we're saying, because divorce rates are rising as if no promises were made at all on the wedding day. Our culture is getting so good at justifying themselves out of a commitment, and with a straight face say that we still love the person. So it doesn't surprise me that we'd do it with God. <br />
<br />
Salvation, I'm sure we all can agree, is like the wedding day. The glory is all about us, the bride of Christ, being united with our bridegroom. We cry and weep and hands are raised in worship because we are so in love with Jesus for choosing us to be with Him. And we walk down the aisle and we pray with somebody and we start the vows. "Lord, I promise that I am going to do my best to live for you. I love you so much. I give my all to you." <br />
<br />
Now those are great words of commitment. And if you actually think about it, the same words are used when a person gets married and still over 50% end in a divorce. Which means that it's getting a lot easier to say the words without considering the cost. <br />
<br />
So what is wedding day faith? I'm going to say that within in our faith, its the fascination with the moment or the event, not the glory of the relationship. I'll help you recognize it in yourself. Ever been extremely pumped for a youth conference? They've announced the great lineup at the Motion or Passion Conference or whatever youth conference you've been to, and you anticipate God is going to move mightily because these celebrity preachers are preaching or leading us in worship, and you mark your calendars and promote and get excited. Leading up until that conference, your level of commitment to God is extremely high because you know that when that day get here, it's going to be phenomenal. And the conference happens, and you're having crazy revelations and beautiful moments with our Creator, and you journal and tag that weekend as one you'll never forget. But then, you get back to your regular ordinary life, and within a week you're back dry. The daily grind of dealing with our imperfections next to a perfect God is exhausting. Our fire runs out, and we're back to our inconsistent disappointing self, only because we put so much emphasis on the moment, and not the relationship that we were agreeing to. <br />
<br />
What happens when life hits you with a curve ball and you're looking at God as if He has betrayed you? "God, you saw that coming. What happened?" What happens to our devotion for God in our dry spells? When we've gotten out of a fulfilling rhythm? All we do now is wake up, get the kids ready for school, I go to work, you to go work, come home eat dinner, in bed by 9, tomorrow we do it again. What happens when our love takes a hit? It doesn't look like the wedding day anymore. Life has began to rumble with it.<br />
<br />
I think our culture is too obsessed with the "celebrity", and Jesus is just another celebrity. We love Him when He's going to be in our driving range, (Sunday mornings, youth conferences, etc) but we don't really pursue after Him any other day. I remember the first time I cringed when I listened to how we advertise for our Christian conferences, as if God is a little more magical when the numbers are big, and the conference is big, and the speakers are well known, and we flock to them wanting to experience Jesus but we've been ignoring Him all week. Was He not there with me in my room the night before the conference? Before all the people showed up and the emotional build of the environment has me in tears, was His presence not overbearing in my car heading to work? If not, where was He? <br />
<br />
Wedding Day Faith. Love is strong on that day, filled with promise and wonder. Nobody thinks they'll ever divorce on the wedding day. But it happens. It happens because we don't understand the cost of love. Our faith wavers because we don't understand the cost of following Jesus. <br />
<br />
Know the marriage you're involved in. Understand the bridegroom you've been united with. The same husband on the wedding day is the same one standing there when we're hurting. Fight through with love, hold on to the promise of eternal hope in Jesus. Get through this. You are able because He's able. Maybe we should respond more to the glory of our bridegroom than the wedding day events. The same God rocking your world at the conferences is sitting with you right now as you read this. <br />
<br />
Say Hi to Him. He's inviting you in. Even with all your imperfections, He's inviting you in. <br />
<br />
Let Him kiss His bride. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-35426631800578681382013-12-25T08:47:00.001-06:002013-12-25T09:20:39.137-06:00An "X-Mas" Poem<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">An "X-Mas"
Poem </span></u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">So we're getting
offended when someone writes X-Mas </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">thinking they're
crossing out the Christ in Christmas? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Who cares?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">If we write extra zeros
on our bank account,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">will that instantly make
us millionaires?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">So relax, because it
doesn't matter if someone pens an X over His name </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">that doesn't remove His
presence or His fame.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Instead, rejoice in the
glory of the new born King coming </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">to redeem us,
because we couldn't by our own actions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And through Him, He
turned us X-ians</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">into CHRISTians, giving
us His name and righteousness.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">In His grace, He rescued
us from darkness, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">and He'll keep the light on for you, even though </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">there was no room
in the Inn for Him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And just like them, our
hearts leave no room for any other tenants</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">so we run from
repentance, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">with a "Do Not
Disturb" sign on the door</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">not realizing that the
bed of sin and deeds of dirty rags we've soiled </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">He's come to service it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
Oh what I would do to know what I know now</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">and visit the house of
Mary to adore Him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">As she cheers Him on as
He takes His first walk</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">knowing that those
chubby legs would eventually carry a cross...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
And as she trains Him to hold His own bottle during feeding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">knowing that nails would
eventually pierce those tiny wrists...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And as she holds Him in
her arms at night, reading bedtime stories</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">knowing that the Creator
of the universe was residing in the frame of this baby boy,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">and as gently as she held
Him, He held the world in His love just the same.<br />
<br />
So an X over your name removes you? Bah humbug! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">An abbreviation cannot
not shorten your glory, and I'm glad for that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I’m glad that nothing we
do can limit You.<br />
I’m glad that even when we drop the ball you made a way for our redemption.<br />
I'm glad you dotted every “i” and crossed every “t” on that crossed T for me,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">absorbing all the wrath
I deserve and tossing the shame away from me...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">for me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">What kind of love is
this? That makes amends</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">with the same ones whose
very nature offends?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">What kind of grace is this? Where holiness enters into </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">wickedness and invites the sinner to feast with glory?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">And promises a salvation that cannot fade away</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">claiming possession of the hearts of His children. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I'm His. And He's mine.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">So every time I see
X-Mas, it’s not Christ crossed out,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">but rather, X marks the
spot, because He is my true treasure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-23651817739094580552013-12-24T11:11:00.002-06:002013-12-24T11:11:34.576-06:00Emmanuel, God Is With Us<i><span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064">“The virgin will be pregnant. She will have a son, and they will name him Emmanuel,<sup>"</sup> which means “God is with us." Matthew 1:23 NCV</span></i><br />
<span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064"><br /></span>
<span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064">As Christmas day is approaching, I find my present spiritual condition to be fitting for the event we celebrate. As I feel like I'm in a spiritual rut, more connected to my brokenness than usual, slowly dying in a spiritual desert, I seek for comfort in so many other ways than adoring the Savior. So the irony in that is, one of my favorite songs during the Christmas season is, "O' Come All Ye Faithful." And in my wicked heart I'm refusing to listen to that song because I am having a hard time worshiping that truth. Instead, it's screaming, "No, I'm not coming. He hasn't been faithful. Look at all the destruction around me. Where is He? I'm dying here and He's doing nothing. Yeah, I'm not coming to adore Him." </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064">But can you imagine the night, whenever the events started to happen? (Please stop arguing over whether December 25th was his real birthday or not. Either figure out when He was born, or shut up please.) </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064">But again, can you imagine the night? You're going through a casual afternoon and an angel appears to you out of nowhere? You freak out, because this look like a scene from a horror movie that you know you shouldn't have watched. But the angel says, </span><br />
<br />
<i><span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064">"</span><span class="text Luke-2-10" id="en-NCV-24880">Do not be afraid. I am bringing you good news that will be a great joy to all the people. </span></i><i><span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Today your Savior was born in the town of David. He is Christ, the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11)</span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">Excuse me? My Savior? </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">So we walk and go check it out, because now we're curious. I mean, we had heard rumors about a coming Messiah. The prophet at church had said it a few times, but, ya know, we never take stuff seriously until it's on Facebook anyway. And no one's mentioned it on there, so, let's just go check it out. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">And you get there, and you find the baby just like the angel told you how you would find him. "My God! He is faithful! He said He was going to send Him, and He did!!"We all rejoice. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">Can you imagine the exclamation of awaited joy? The long awaited Messiah is here? The Savior that we spoke about amongst ourselves and had read in our scriptures, wow, God, You came through! This baby boy is going to bring us redemption!!! </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">And I can't help but to imagine the joy welling up inside of their hearts in that moment. As they stare at the baby with shy grins, wondering how in world this moment was happening. And it makes me think about the 21st century. Today, when the spoils of life begins to ruin our hope. When the rich encouraging Sunday's message wears off by Monday's lunch break, or when the constant beat down of life and disappointment and unmet expecations and hopelessness and brokenness, when all of that is surrounding us, if we could imagine the moment. If we could imagine the moment these shepherds enjoyed. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">"Here's the baby boy that's going to take all of that away from us! This one right here! He's going to redeem us, save us, adopt us, make us His own. Here He is! HE IS HERE!!!!!" </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881"><i>Emmanuel, God is with us.</i> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">I love how the New Century Version writes it. It doesn't just say, <i>God with us</i>. Because it seems the biggest lie we believe is that God has removed Himself from us, as if it should read God WAS with us. No. He IS with us. He IS with us, ready to breathe life into all that believe and wants to be born again and made new. He IS with us, allowing us to face challenges to grow our faith, which leads us to a greater enjoyment of Him. He IS with us, when we are going through trials for His name sake. He IS with us. We are not alone here! </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">So this Christmas I rejoice. I will rejoice in the fact that a baby boy was born to redeem me. I will stretch my faith to investigate why the Bible greats seemed to know something about Jesus that I don't seem to know. I mean, they were devoted regular, ordinary men just like me. And here I am, iffy and wavering, inconsistent and petty. So either He's showing some extreme favoritism, or they know something I don't know about our Savior. Maybe I don't know how He can be sufficient because I haven't come to Him emptied and watched Him fill me. Maybe I don't know the depths of His grace because I haven't brought my many sins to Him and watched Him wipe all my shame away. Maybe I don't know His great love because I refuse to allow the greatest lover of all to embrace me. Maybe that's why my devotion is so weak. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">There's a baby boy that was born to redeem us from this, which is why we should come and adore Him. He was faithful, so He IS faithful. Take heart the good news, says the angels. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Luke-2-11" id="en-NCV-24881">So I say, take heart the good news. God IS with us. </span><span class="text Luke-2-12" id="en-NCV-24882"></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-1-23" id="en-NCV-23064"> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-23893279390564441272013-12-20T16:30:00.001-06:002013-12-20T16:30:16.371-06:00Praise JunkieI recently read an article by Francis Chan about public passion vs private devotion--- and it revealed a major heart condition. Through this article, the Holy Spirit helped me see that I am a praise junkie.<br />
<br />
For about four months now, I have been removed from a 3 year luxury of being surrounded by positive people who loves Jesus and loves you and speaks life into you every single day of the week. And in these last four months, I have been working in a place in which I am surrounded by the exact opposite. It is a place where no one praises your victories, but instead will make a mockery of your short comings--- every single time. Even the slightest mistake will cause an uproar of jokes and mocking. A place filled with broken individuals where positivity is smothered under abuse and failed attempts at hope and love. For them, "'Why hope? Why be nice? Why love?" <br />
<br />
And now, I am evermore thankful for these people. Because in their inability to realize their brokenness and therein hide it--like many Christians know how to do so well-- they expose themselves to me. And they do not care about my church ministry resume. They do not care that I can grow a ministry, or move an audience to tears with relatable preaching, or that I have been trained in leadership excellence, or that I worked two jobs and got a degree from Auburn University. They simply do not care. <br />
<br />
And therefore, I have felt my self-confidence and self-worth dwindling nearly to nothing---because no one is praising me in my talents. In words, I've gotten used to the king size bed and now being forced to sleep on a cold hardwood floor. Completely unacceptable! <br />
<br />
I have also found myself envious of the ones who have what I used to have. A ministry where people love them and follow them and value them. I've missed that warm feeling I get when someone thanks me because I've been such a big help for them. I've missed that fuzzy feeling of being surrounded by people who at any moment can jump into a talk about Jesus. I've missed dwelling with the saints. I've missed the days when I could say some deep and clever spiritual C.S. Lewis type quote or thought and people will throw fits about my wisdom and whatever. <br />
<br />
But now, the people I'm surrounded by shrug and remain emotionless. I've been serving them, but no evident response. I've been loving them, but no evident response. I've been speaking life into them, but no evident response. There's been no infatuation with Claude, in fact, I become more of a mockery because I'm somehow not as "down" or as "black" as they are because I'm not as rude and disrespectful. Or I'm "afraid of women" because I'm not flexing my sexuality at the women. So I've been experiencing constant rejection after 3 years of constant acceptance. As a result, my self confidence is near emptied. <br />
<br />
Or perhaps God has been refining it? <br />
<br />
Perhaps God has lit a fire to my confidence and He's melting away the impurities, which are the praise of man in all it's futility and folly. He's revealing to me that I most of time only see myself as a bold man of God when I'm being told I am one, not because Jesus' ransomed blood has declared me as co-heir with Him, redeemed and adopted. Nope, only when people tell me how awesome I am. And along with that, the fear of failure has haunted me in this season, with this lingering thought of "What are people going to think if something awesome doesn't happen in my life?"<br />
<br />
So back to the Francis Chan article. It was the plug that helped me realize my heart's condition in the last few months. That my love for Jesus is very much motivated by man's praise, not solely by my love for Him. When I am in the public, leading or preaching, writing blogs, the praise of you all brings me an intimacy with Jesus that I believe is encouraging, but unhealthy by itself because of man's depravity. Nothing I preach or share with you all is outside of what He's ministered to me, so in that there's a joy I experience when I can help someone with something He's helped me with. But...that can't be the only thing. The private devotion, when no one else can see me, is what really counts. That's where God get's the most work done in us because there's no one there to hide my sin from--- God sees all of it. Every single bit of it. Every thought. Every idea. Every moment. Every glimpse. He sees it all. And He's not as impressed as everyone else is, because He knows me better than all of you. Hey, He know, "Without Me, this guy would be nothing." <br />
<br />
But that's it! <br />
<br />
Without Him, I am nothing. Without Him, I am no good. Without Him, you would not be impressed with me. You wouldn't read my blogs. You wouldn't retweet or share my blog. If I'm the hero, we all fail! So what matters the most? The only thing that I am nothing without--- my father in heaven. <br />
<br />
And that should be what my self confidence and self worth stems and blossoms from. Now I do believe that verbal affirmation and speaking life into people is a great, Godly thing, but hopefully that person you are praising is finding their identities solely in the resurrected King. So thank you Holy Spirit. Thank you Francis Chan. My hope now is that I may love Jesus in the way Peter and John were noted in Acts 4. <br />
<br />
<i>"<span class="text Acts-4-13" id="en-ESV-27024">Now
when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they
were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized
that they had been with Jesus.</span>" </i><br />
<br />
They could tell by the way Peter and John lived that they had been with Jesus. What a remarkable compliment, or probably intended to be an insult. This is my new life verse. That the praise received from you all is that you can tell I've been with Jesus. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-81307264142585798142013-12-15T09:06:00.002-06:002013-12-15T09:06:43.613-06:00Quiet EnvyWith this one blog post I can make aware the cry of all of our hearts because I know something about us, that lying deep within our hearts there is a quiet envy. You can say, "No, it's not me", for right now, just so you can get through the blog. I'll be the first to be honest about how I am feeling. <div>
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<div>
What a feeling to feel like you're on the sidelines huh? I think social media is causing a wreckage on our hearts because of its assorting which enables us to adore and enjoy the highlights of people's lives. Of course, most people only post the great things that happen to them on these social media sites. And as we look at these highlight reels of our friends lives, we are left with this spectating feeling. As if we are just merely watching someone else's life be awesome while ours is just destined for being a bench warmer. And if you've ever played a sport and rode the pine, you know exactly the feeling I'm talking about. That feeling as you watch your teammates play the sport you love, while you're sitting on the bench, knowing you have so much potential to be great too. Yeah, that feeling. </div>
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And maybe it's the Christmas season that is making this single guy feel especially moody. Or the fact that I have some great friends in new relationships, and one is expecting! Or the fact that my Alma Mater is having a spectacular season after I graduate, and I'm merely sitting on the bench, bored, disengaged, blindly clapping for successes while watching everyone else's life be filled with hope and promise and destiny. </div>
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<br /></div>
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And I'll be the first to admit that I'm being a spoiled little brat. I'm the kid right now that everyone hates, the one that throws the tantrum in the store when their mom denies them that toy they just saw in the store. I'm the kid right now that pouts the entire time at recess because I couldn't get on the swing first. I'm the kid right now that is ignoring all the wonderful gifts my parents have gotten me, but they forgot to get me the new PS4, ya know, "the one thing I asked for." But yes, I am tired of cheering on my friends and family for their successes while I have none. Yes, I am tired of scrolling through my Facebook and Twitter newsfeed and seeing my friends in love with their churches and thriving in a ministry and I'm waiting and wishing for both. </div>
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My friend, I am sick of it. I'm sick of me. I'm sick of being the spoiled little brat. I'm sick of battling with discontent when I have the Savior of my heart that is always with me. Which there lies the root of my issues. I have been trying to treat the symptoms instead of turning to the person that's offering full healing. </div>
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The symptoms are my discontent with being single, or being without a high paying job I enjoy, or being without a church home and ministry I'm leading in and serving in. I can treat the symptoms by listening to some of the typical encouragement, "Oh she's out there Claude just have to wait," and, "just waiting on God to open that door for a new job," and, "you'll find that church and ministry one day." And all of these are true things, but I think there's a greater brokenness rearing it's ugly head. And guess what it is? </div>
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I don't trust Jesus to full satisfy me. </div>
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Why do we grieve the heart of God in such a way? Could you imagine someone wanting to be in relationship with you only to get what you can give them? Let's say you're a millionaire and I only want to be in relationship with you because I know you could give me all my dreams. I think we're all spiritual gold diggers. All we want is what God can give us. All the time. We don't want Him. Everybody wants heaven, but everybody also wants to keep their sin. Everybody wants a relationship but keep their selfishness. We're just like the men that want to be married but keep their single life of playing video games and eating cookies with their boys. We have to come to the truth that Jesus is Lord of All or None. There is no other way around that truth. He assumes the position of Lord of All when you've admitted your sin and have repented and expressed your need for Him. </div>
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So let's always remember that need. And I am remembering that today. I can not continue to push Him away just because I'm not getting what I want. It's the craziest irony. The person I'm most frustrated with is the one I have to go to find healing for my frustration. And what's rooted in all of our frustration? Unmet expectations. Which only means I have been exposed, because for some reason I have expected Jesus to give me the things I want right when I ask for them in a timely manner. No stalling Jesus. Chop Chop! </div>
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So now I ask, have you ever felt this way? If so, thank goodness for the Gospel huh? Thank goodness that Jesus knew our wicked hearts was going to need a righteousness that surpassed our own abilities to be pure and holy. We couldn't do it. We can't even be 100% happy for someone else without wanting what they have. And if you're anything like me, in these moments of discontentment and envy, you try to regroup back to old comforts. And even that begins to fail you after awhile. So you feel that Jesus has failed you, and you feel that your sin has failed you. So where do you turn to? What hope do you turn to? Sadly, some of your doctrines does not even support an answer for that, so I'll help you. What we turn to is an eternal perspective of Christ's love for us. Yes our earthly gain is not going our way, but if you are believer in Jesus and have been regenerated and born again, you should take hope in the coming salvation. You also should take hope in the fact that you have Jesus. </div>
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Is He not enough? </div>
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"Yeah, but I want....."</div>
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No, is He not enough? Is Jesus not enough? </div>
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That question haunts my broken soul. Can you even say yes? And mean it? </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-65267724725039464222013-12-05T16:46:00.003-06:002014-01-18T02:47:15.416-06:00Little Black Boy DreamsNearing the week anniversary of one of the wildest and greatest moments of college football, or really any sports events I've ever had the pleasure of watching, I find myself burdened with my usual quiet plight.<br />
<br />
Another black boy's dream has come true.<br />
<br />
And guess what that means? (insert sarcastic tone here) "Let's run and tell his story for all the other little black boys in the hood so that they will never give up on their dreams and maybe stop hustlin' and having illegitimate children!"<br />
<br />
When Chris Davis Jr. for my Auburn Tigers broke down the sideline for this great moment, I scrambled around my living room in wondrous excitement, even did my own end zone dance, and smiled at the television screen as I fantasized about being on the Plains for that glorious moment. However, a few days later, with the buzz from the game still going strong well into the following week, I was reminded of something that has grieved me since high school. Little black boys are only valued for their athletic ability. <br />
<br />
After experiencing a little (and I mean a little) success at being the starting running back for the Oxford High School Yellow Jackets in Northeast Alabama, I had a lot more people in my face than usual. After walking around for years desiring to be significant in somebody's eyes other than my loving mother, I had finally found it. I had random people coming up to me in the school halls, Wal-Mart, and the local mall, praising me for a great game and wishing me luck in the coming ones. I even had a few newspaper articles that tickled my ego every time they wrote about me, even if they misspelled my last name. But they eventually got it right, which really stroked my ego even more. But I was never flattered by it. Okay, maybe I was a little bit, because I'm sure due to a sovereign God, I was aware of the shift from zero to local hero. <br />
<br />
During the three-a-days going into my senior year, I was expected to have a really good year. We had a new coach with incredible vision to put our football program on an elite status. But when I was left out of a "High School Football Spotlight" Sports section cover story in the local paper spotlighting the local stars, I was motivated to prove that newspaper wrong. But during the last practice of three-a-days, after embarrassing our defense the whole week, I was injured with a high ankle sprain. And I battled that stupid sprain the whole season. And guess what happened? The newspaper articles lessened. The praises went to someone else. And I was just another ol' washed up running back. <br />
<br />
Now, this blog isn't being written by a bitter young black man, envious of the spotlight Chris Davis Jr. is getting. This blog is being written by a young black black man who has realized the continued self inflicted and endorsed oppression that my brothers continue to have to deal with. Because this is what I see. If you take away the moment, take away the Auburn gear, take away the glory, and just had a regular black boy, he'd be nothing to many of you. Let me take you into the eyes of these little black boys, if you're thinking I'm being too sensitive. <br />
<br />
Many times, black men are immediately treated as dangerous or inferior creatures, unless, you're worth something in a sport. How should a young black boy feel if he's not interested in sports? Or when you are surrounded by a culture who would be enraged with you if you dated outside of your race, from black women (a whole different blog) and white daddies? Young white girls have to be fearful of being ostracized by their families if they dared brought home one of us, as if we are the reason for the decay of the nation, a corruptible thing that will defile the precious southern belle daddy's girls that he's worked so hard to protect from the dangers of the world. How should we feel when interracial dating is seen as disgusting? <br />
<br />
Maybe there is some bitterness there, but I am so annoyed with this constant theme of the only time a young black man is praised and enamored is when he scores touchdowns for your favorite team. Here's why this breaks my heart. <br />
<br />
Unfortunately, many of us are raised without fathers. And if we had fathers at home, many of those fathers were raised without fathers. So, embedded within many little black boys because of generations of broken homes, manhood has been learned from the scraps of our culture. See how that can get a little shaky? If the father didn't have a father to teach him true manhood, then he'll learn it from an unreliable and most likely detestable source. And he'll grow up and teach his son the only thing he knows, cultural manhood from that same source. Which means, without manhood being displayed in our homes by a loving father who is loving his wife and developing his sons, we adjust ourselves to what culture says. And guess what culture tells us great black men are? Football and basketball stars, and toss in rappers if you can write nursery rhymes. And guess what are the only stories being shipped back to urban communities? How these stars chased their dreams and made it out the hood. <br />
<br />
Here's the funny thing, have you ever thought about what's the chances that every little black boy with a sports dream has of making it? Yes, there's the exception, but, don't we all feel like we'll be the exception? So, without throwing statistics at you, I'll just make it easy, just go back to any urban community and you'll find a bunch of men still talking about their high school football glory days. Wonder why they do that? It's called, dreams deferred.<br />
<br />
Because in high school, they were somebody. In high school, they meant something to someone. In high school, they were valued. In high school, they mattered. In high school, people made big deals about a temporary hype and for that short lived moment, we were respected men. But when they walked across that stage with a high school diploma but an undeveloped mind because it was suggested to train their bodies harder, the reality of their talents being junior varsity due to the little to no recruitment letters from any colleges, there's nothing else to turn to. And if you're missing the connection between praise and manhood, here's what I'm saying. People, especially little boys, need verbal affirmation from our fathers. So with a huge void left by our daddies, we find it elsewhere. And guess who's doing all the affirming? Everybody who says you're awesome because you scored a touchdown with one second left to go on the clock. It's the same with women not being told they're beautiful by their fathers, so they find their identities in the men that tell them they're beautiful because of they have tight bodies. So boys, find their identities in this fleeting praise of man. <br />
<br />
If you're still thinking I'm being too sensitive, then that's okay. It may be hard for many of you to understand the plight of little black boys, being none of you probably are. But if you're one of those thinking I'm being too deep, then don't you dare post another Facebook posts of how sick you are of the thugs or the gangs or the guys playing the horrid Knockout game. I'm trying to enlighten you on the root cause of it. <br />
<br />
And, honestly, I really don't know what's really the blame. Maybe it's just the father's not raising their sons. Maybe it's just culture's idolatrous nature to worship man, creating a covetous desire from young boys to be what will get them the praise our evil hearts crave. Maybe it's just that cultural manhood's definition is a fleeting one. Maybe it's black culture for being so anti-intellect, where to be considered "one of us" you have to talk and act a certain way. Or maybe it's because we don't have real men in the black community because they are all victims of the same cycle that's crippling them. Old boys shouldn't have to raise young boys. So let's just say it's all of the above. <br />
<br />
Can we tell young black boys that they can dream bigger? Yes, I'm saying that dreaming to be a football star isn't big enough. The fortunate football player life span is what? 33 years old? That's about 40 years left to do what? <br />
<br />
We seem to think big sport contracts will fix the problem of the deteriorating black male. Let's get them out the hood financially, then they'll be better people. So, why do many of us get football scholarships and then blow it? Or how do we get thrust into colleges to bring the college more money off of our football skills and they still leave uneducated? EXTERNAL THINGS DOES NOT FIX INTERNAL ISSUES. That's why many of them are broke even after the millions. That's why I knew just having a black president wouldn't automatically spike an intellectual progressive movement within the urban community. That's how Michael Vick could lose all of his endorsements for dog fighting. Something is awfully wrong with what we're feeding these little black boys. Because if they can't rap or shoot a consistent three pointer, or run fast, they're in trouble, and probably destined for a mediocre life of boredom---and men are dangerous when they're idle and bored. There's too much divinely breathed passion lying within the hearts of men---men are dangerous when they're idle and bored. <br />
<br />
So please hear me, I'm not asking you to stop praising your favorite sports stars. It's not your fault we have this brokenness. I'm just helping you understand why every time another post goes up about Christ Davis Jr, another piece of my heart will continue to break. And every time I'll pray, Lord, I hope he is not finding his full value in all this praise. He mattered before he scored that touchdown. He mattered before he put on the Auburn jersey. He mattered when he was in that inner city Birmingham neighborhood. I hope he doesn't find all his value in this praise. Because when that iconic moment gets shut in the record books and starts collecting dust, all he'll be left with is a "I used to be". When he looks in the mirror 5 years from now, 2 years from now, let's be honest, 3 months from now, he'll be left with just "I used to be".<br />
<br />
I want the little black boys to dream dreams of things that continues to position us to progress, to develop, so that we can say, "I'm going to be", and it's an actual real and obtainable goal and not determined on scouting reports and draft picks. <br />
<br />
Oh for the day that little black boys dream dreams bigger than how far our legs can take us. Oh for the day we can begin to restore the heartbeat of all of our issues, finding our value in being real men. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-3903491059046397152013-11-26T15:46:00.000-06:002013-11-26T16:18:40.632-06:00My Teddy Bear King<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
It's a cold winter night, the lights from a Christmas tree
and a crackling fire dimly lightens the room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A little boy is resting on the couch, squeezing the paw of his teddy
bear, enjoying Christmas cartoons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
walks his father reeking with the smell of alcohol and Tommy Hilfiger cologne,
hoping to disguise his additive habit, but his glazed over stare always exposes
his drunken condition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The little boy
slides his teddy bear closer, preparing for the storm that would soon
come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It always comes when daddy comes
home like that. In walks the mother, a look of despair on her face as she gets
ready to unload years of frustration on her husband, desperately wanting him to
change for the sake of their son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>"Go to your room son," the little boy's mother beckons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He jumps off the couch, brings his teddy bear
close to his chest, and walks towards his bedroom---a routine he was too
familiar with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He shuts his bedroom door
as fear tries to frighten him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tears
rush to his eyes, concerned about the reason mommy is always mad at daddy when
he looks like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A pit forms in his
stomach, nervous about the outcome of the fight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mommy and daddy are always fighting, and the
little boy hates the yelling and being alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the little boy remembers that he has his teddy bear, and he squeezes
it firmly against his chest.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"As long as I have my teddy,"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he reminds himself, as the hug from his
friend comforts the depths of his soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>"As long as I have you teddy."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I often tell people that sometimes when I'm having deep reflective
moments, I feel the presence of a little boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In this fictional story, I wanted you to meet this little boy, a true
youth at heart but with a high hidden maturity level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will probably be my most transparent
blog yet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For as long as I can remember, I have always taken rejection
personally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In which, can be extremely
unhealthy, but it's just a natural response and a flaw of mine that I battle
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if I really traced the issue
down to its root, I would say that it may have started when I was a little
boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think subconsciously, I responded
to an absent father personally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had
other friends with their dad still at home, why don't I?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, what's wrong with me? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And for all my life, that question has haunted me, and has
caused me to take rejection personally, even to this day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was looking at pictures from high school,
and my heart grieved for the young man in those pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing he was dealing with the same
insecurity that I still feel flares up even to this day, and I'm wondering,
"Dude, what are you turning to to find comfort for that
question?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here's what I have
always assumed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People leave you because
they figured out something about you that they just couldn't deal with. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I assumed that my dad leaving was because of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I couldn't hold my head up by myself
fast enough or I exhibited some signs of being an uncool son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe he realized something was wrong with
me, so he left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my first love
randomly broke up with me, I assumed maybe I was a bad boyfriend, incapable of
loving her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe she figured out
something was wrong with me, so she got out as quick as she could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as I had fun and life filled friendships
with girls and grew interest, after I would express that interest, it was like
I grew an extra head or somehow offended them by being interested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe they realized something was wrong with
me, so they had to distance themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I had to deal with being replaced as the senior leader of a
ministry without explanation, the questions of the unknown haunted me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe they figured out something was wrong
with me, and needed to get me out of that position.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as I'm applying for jobs in this season
of my life, and consistently getting the emails back saying, "sorry, we
are considering someone else for the position", I nod, and my brokenness
tries to comfort me by saying, "yeah, they know something is wrong with
you."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And every time, in every
moment like this, this little boy, frightened by his surroundings, walks into
his room to be alone but squeezes tightly to his chest his teddy bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"As long as I have my teddy."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if you know me personally or read my blogs consistently,
and have ever wondered why I love Jesus so much, it is because he is my teddy
bear King.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And thank God I met Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In so many areas of my life, I have found myself responding to trials
and hardships and challenges the same way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whenever I get rejected, the question, "What's wrong with me"
always rises up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I met Jesus, I
would actually work on whatever I figured to be the reason someone left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I'm a bad son, so I became a better son
for my mom when my dad left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my
first love broke up with me, okay, I'll be a better man, a better boyfriend, a
better lover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when I met Jesus, when
He revealed Himself to me in all His glory, He became my teddy bear King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He became my go to, not to resolve or change
anything about me, but someone who accepted me for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember so many encounters where I knew I
had disappointed Him, and He was still there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'd neglect Him, wouldn't talk to him for weeks, but when I would call
He was still there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is my teddy bear
King.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And after meeting Him, every situation where I've been
rejected, I feel this little boy inside of me walking to his room, wanting to
be strong but just also wanting to be alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But he knows he's not strong by himself, and he squeezes his teddy bear
King, and all the pain goes away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All
the fear goes away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as I have my
teddy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as I have my teddy bear
King.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It doesn't matter my assessment of the situation, my only
hope is found in that my teddy bear King is always with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So you can keep your "God has a plan for
your life" or "you're a leader" messages, "works based" salvation, or "deep doctrine
debates,"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>those things have not
comforted my soul in the midst of rejection and doubt, which exposes their
fallible insufficiency as primary issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the hope of Jesus, the message of the Gospel, my teddy bear King,
warms my soul like nothing else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I
squeeze tightly to my savior King my fear and pain diminishes, and I don't care
about the fighting in the other room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don't care about the unknown answers to my replacement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't care about the rejection, or the
unreturned phone calls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as I
have my teddy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as I have my
teddy bear King.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my favorite stories in the Bible that reveals the
beauty of the Gospel and the heart of Jesus is in Luke 22:39-49 when Jesus is
hanging on the cross and the two thieves next to him are speaking with
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One is hurling insults at Jesus,
but really after his own selfish gain by his mocking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the other thief, rebukes the mocker and
turns his attention to Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thief
recognizes his own deserving of the death he was experiencing, and out of some
unknown reason just asks Jesus to remember His name. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"I don't want much, I deserve what I'm getting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm a thief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm a wreck, I don't deserve saving from this death, so just remember me
when you go into your kingdom."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
Jesus does so much more than just remembers his name, He invites Him in!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"No, you're coming with me into my
kingdom!" </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What magnitude of an invite is that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if there is something wrong with me.
Even if maybe I was destined to be an uncool kid, or even if I'm over impulsive
or too aggressive or too clingy or too emotional or too whatever causes people
to run away, Jesus doesn't run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
instead engages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He invites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Get in here my son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You're wanted here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You're loved here."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Gospel wrecks me because of this very reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You weird, imperfect, inconsistent humans, I
love you, but I'm so glad you're not the hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm so glad you're not God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm
so glad that you're not the reference of love, of grace, of mercy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm glad Jesus invites us in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm glad I have my teddy bear King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As long as I have my teddy....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As long as I have my Jesus.....all is well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
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<![endif]-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-35343757627821672682013-11-24T13:31:00.001-06:002013-11-24T13:31:34.308-06:00"The Functional Gospel" Sneak Peek My wonderful followers, thank you for always jumping and clicking on these links. Here is a preview of my other book, "The Functional Gospel". As always, ignore the grammatical errors that could be present, rough drafts are exactly that...ROUGH. Lol. <br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">one</span></div>
<h1 style="line-height: normal; margin-top: 0in; text-align: center;">
Premises</h1>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
have an assumption about you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And
yes, I know what they say about assuming, but something as serious as this
issue is worth the risk. And I confidently say that because I think the
fate of the modern day American church is riding on some of the things I'm
going to challenge you to consider in this book. But I'm getting ahead of
myself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
back to my assumption, and this will help with identifying my audience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am assuming that you have some working
knowledge of Christianity, whether it is from church experiences, television,
movies, family events, that devoted grandmother, or folklore type stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And with this working knowledge, you can
probably correct a Christian who isn’t behaving accordingly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Or maybe you know enough to protest something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or perhaps you know enough to say something
like, “everything happens for a reason”, or “let go and let God”, and actually
feel better about whatever you’re going through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or perhaps you know enough to satisfy the
void that we all feel the need to believe in a religion, so you’ve chosen
Christianity as your choice of religion as if it was simply a preferential
decision, like choosing Publix over Wal-Mart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And
with this working knowledge comes the title of this book, the Functional
Gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now if you’re passionate about
sound doctrine, let me comfort you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
in no way saying that there is another Gospel besides the good news of the
scriptures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stand firm on Galatians
1:8 where Paul curses any person who should choose to preach any other
Gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another Gospel does not exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that and I agree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The title of the book, however, is me
challenging the huge amount of us that only have a working or functional
understanding of Christianity and therefore is able to make it work for
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because hey, our grandparents would
not let us just denounce the God of the Bible, even though we live as if He
doesn’t exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because if we actually
admitted how we really felt about God, that’d be enough to get us
excommunicated from our families, and the family church in which we were raised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Therefore
I can say that the Bible Belt South is an interesting place to grow up, with its
rich culture of Sunday morning church suits, college football Saturdays, sweet
tea, and southern hospitality, but its blurred lines between morality and
Christ’s teaching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where in the same
conversation you could hear someone curse out the person next to them, drop a
scripture to prove their point, and close the conversation with a “God bless
you”. A place where faithful church attenders will judge a person that chooses
to sleep in on Easter Sunday, just like he or she does every other Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Know
people like that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I want to be clear
about this book, it’s specific to but not limited to the Bible Belt South. Because
you would think, with the South having churches sprinkled around like Starbucks
coffee shops in Seattle, that the level of faith would be extremely high
here---or rather you'd think the church would be at its strongest here. Well,
I’d challenge you to think again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And
I have been convicted of ever saying anything is dead as long as Jesus, the
author of life, is reigning as King. So upon observation of the churched
culture I have been raised in and have loved for many years, I think it's
accurate to say that the church in the South is looking thinner from
malnourishment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But
who am I to say this? At the time of writing this book I have no degree
from any seminary. I only have three years of church ministry experience
under my belt, so no thriving ministry at all to compare your churches to and
say, “Look, this is how we should be doing it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So you can read this, aware of my naivety in my youth, but this is all
that I’m asking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since I am admitting
that I am an imperfect young man with flawed and limited perspective, all I’m
asking you to do is to consider the things I am saying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of the observed opinions I am going to
share in this book are simply that, my observed opinions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll tell you when I think scripture is
extremely clear on a matter, but most of the chapters in this book are my
opinions of a glance into certain situations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And all I have done was wrestle with these questions, so I’m tagging you
to get in the ring and wrestle too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
I can promise, your faith will grow by the end of the wrestling match, because I’ve
noticed my faith has strengthened to insurmountable places because of these wrestling
bouts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In
the next chapter I’ll get into the depths of why I’m writing this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the root of this burning desire to
understand the hardships of the church started when I started to hear the startling
statistics of the growing decline of people professing Christianity as their
faith. And honestly, I'm a little happy about it. Not because
people are falling away from the faith, but the fact that people are seriously
noticing the inconsistencies in the church and the people professing to be
Christians. In a world jaded by the veneer of temporary satisfaction and
fleeting interests, it makes sense to me how a culture that floods churches on
Easter and Christmas is also tagging Christianity as something we just
do. It's not a relationship with a saving King, but it's something we do
only on certain holy days, which are the holidays in the remembrance of Jesus, and
Sundays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So as with anything else, we’re
interested in it long enough to flick our thumbs and move on to the next
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s almost as bad as registering
for a website and consistently getting their nagging emails about reminders
that you’ll eventually just unsubscribe from. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
the premises of this book are simple. First I want to be sure you are
hearing my tone correctly. I am in no way insulting the bride of Jesus at
all through this book. In fact, I am rejoicing in her potential. And
with the obvious decline of people professing Christianity as their religion,
we must agree that there is a problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
message of Christ is too beautiful to be handled poorly and neglected because
of the failure to recognize the problem and being to pray and work to find the
solution.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So that is my hope. Is
that you would do what I have done and walk with me through these different
perspectives and allow them to clash with your faith in hopes of strengthening
it. Many of you may nod in agreement with everything in this book.
And many of you may disagree with nearly everything in this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, let us be sure that we agree on
something before we start agreeing or disagreeing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before we have this discussion, I’m presuming
that you agree that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and used for
teaching, reproofing, correction, and training in righteousness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(2 Tim 3:16) And I’m not talking about
handpicked out of context scriptures to prove your point, that’s too easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we do that, then we could say that Jesus
commanded us to eat breakfast (John 21:12).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I’m talking about let’s look at the Bible with a full understanding
of how the Bible works and reads and we can continue in this discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
I'm nominating myself as one of the voices of this generation that is appearing
to be disinterested in the church, and my first proclamation is, “Maybe something
is off.” Maybe we are doing some things wrong, however good the
intentions are. Maybe what’s happening is for too long we have just shoved
Bibles into our children’s hands, told them Jesus died for the sins that
they’ll start committing at around 13, and that Hell is 7 times hotter than
fire here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then we accept our
child’s performance obedience as actual salvation when really it was just their
reasoning hadn’t kicked in yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
easy to have faith as a child before the realities of life kick in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, we actually believed Santa Claus can
travel around the world in a night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
the Power Rangers were just as real to me as my mom and teachers, I secretly
hoped they were disguised super heroes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But when adult problems run smack into our child faith, what
happens?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll tell you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s quite simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We start to doubt the validity of what we
believed in and we start to ask questions, in which most parents struggle with
answering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like, if Jesus is for my good
then why did that bad thing happen?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well
I prayed and prayed and it still happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If Rita really wants to take over the world, why won’t she just attack
somewhere differently than Angel Grove? (If you missed that reference, I’m
sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You really missed out on having a
cool childhood) Mom? We don’t have a chimney, how does Santa get into our
home?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Questions like these slowly breaks
down our faith because no one continues to develop it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our childhood faith disappears when our innocence
disappears as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So you figure out
Santa is not real, and that the Power Rangers are not really in their morphed
suits but in fact trained martial artists and they are using voice overs (still
grieve that), and that God is only good when he wants to be. So we grow up with
a half enthused Christian faith that we still claim, but are not really living
in it. It's easy to abstain from sexual temptation when girls have
cooties. But what about when those girls start to develop into
women?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And ladies, what about when those
boys begin to compliment you and it has an effect on you? I’ll answer it, a
moralistic salvation becomes harder to maintain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So in a culture where teen pregnancy
is probably a bigger sin that adultery, where do we even begin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll give the older generation some credit,
they are seeing there’s a problem with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Many of them are worried when they watch the news and see us, people
under 28, are just unfocused about everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And they’ve tried to fix it, bless their hearts, but without asking us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’ve instead tried to engage with our
culture from the outside and tried turning youth ministry into huge gimmicks
and rap concerts to try to keep us entertained, but that’s not what we
want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to believe again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to know these things are really real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why hasn’t anyone proven to me that Jesus is
worth believing in?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because hey, mommy
and daddy only are Christians when we’re walking into the church on Sundays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they’re not tempted with sexual
temptations because old people don’t even do that, do they?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I really hope you’re hearing my
heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, if it sounds like I’m
being snarky I am not trying to sound that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am only tossing out some things for you to consider.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as we walk through this book, some of
these things may be hard for you to really think about because it may shake the
foundation of your faith a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But here’s what I can promise you, if it’s founded on the right things---you’ll
be fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it’s not founded on the
right things---I pray the saving grace of Jesus will bring you into knowledge
of Him as you’re reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t be
afraid to wrestle with something that may prove something you’ve always
believed in is probably not true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
let me encourage you though, if you look one step pass that, you’ll be able to
rejoice in the coming understanding of truth which will only increase your joy
in Him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I hope you’re ready to be
challenged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise you it will be
worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks for choosing to read
this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope and pray it’s a
blessing to you as it was for me in drawing me nearer to Jesus.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-15204931113209379052013-11-18T12:42:00.002-06:002013-11-18T12:43:22.192-06:00"Sweetly Broken" Chapter 2 (Snippet)Since many of you are great supporters of my writing, I wanted to
keep the buzz going for the book by giving you all a few snippets of the
re-write of my first book called, Sweetly Broken. This is a great way
for you to get re-introduced to the characters, or for some you, this is
your first time meeting them. I hope you love them as much as I love
writing their story. Would love to hear your first impressions. Ignore
the technical and grammatical errors, lol. I'm awful at editing. So for chapter 2 I want to introduce, Cameron Taylor. <br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">chapter<span style="font-family: "Felix Titling";">TWO </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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“DeWayne Weaver
is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sooo</i> good looking.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ashley Nader said to Lori Pratt, two women’s
department associates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were looking
at the campus newspaper in the break room while Cameron Taylor sat eating his
lunch and eavesdropping in their conversation. He had a small crush on Lori
Pratt so he always kept up with what she was talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked over towards him and shined her
beautiful smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really gets him
excited when she shows him special attention like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“DeWayne Weaver
is on front of the paper again.” Ashley showed the rest of the girls at the
table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron watched these four
beautiful girls crowd around the newspaper to share in reading the story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“That is a man
right there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look at him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The other girls agreed as they continued to read and gawk at the Heisman
hopeful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Man, football players get all the attention
from the girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m so tired of living
in a college town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron thought
to himself as he finished eating his lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Cameron’s insecurities flash up a lot in times like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Why do I even bother trying to be a good
guy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Girls don’t like good guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That dude is not even that attractive, so you
know it’s just because he’s a football player.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i>Cameron thought to himself as he finished eating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Are we still
studying tonight Cam?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori asked as she
walked over to ask him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron looked
up at her with her grin teasing him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
smiled back at her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yeah, if you still
want to.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Oh of course I
do.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori said as she winked at
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron knew what that wink
meant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
***</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
Later that night
after work, Cameron walked into his apartment and tossed his bag onto the couch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went into his refrigerator to get a glass
of water until he heard his roommate enter into the kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“What’s up
man?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How was work?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nate Hazell asked. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“It was
alright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Busy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said as he took a sip of the
water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He looked at his best friend who
looked exhausted as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Just got back
from the gym?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just got out the shower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m exhausted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been such a long day.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Tell me about
it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said as he felt his phone
buzz.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reached into his pocket and looked
at the incoming text message from Lori, hurrying him to get to the
library.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Man, I forgot I
was supposed to meet Lori at the library to study.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Dude, its
11:13.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah I
know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, we have a test this Friday.
Gotta grind it out.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Man. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know how you do it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Me either.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron shook his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Well before you
go, check this out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was reading in 1
Corinthians for our bible study tomorrow night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Man, it’s going to be a good lesson.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll have to check it out in the
morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But let me go ahead and get out
of here.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said as he headed to
his bathroom to take a quick shower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
the shower, he texted Lori back and headed to the library.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
In the back of
Cameron’s mind, he was always worried about spending late nights with Lori.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a very attractive woman and also very
flirtatious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But along with that she
excelled at Calculus 2, so Cameron needed her help in the class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Hey Lori.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said as he walked up to her at the
top floor of the library.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was seated
at a table in the back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Hey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s about time you made it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said as she flashed her warm smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God
she’s so beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That smile always
weakens my defenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron thought
to himself as he pulled up a chair across from her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let me
sit over here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tonight is not a good
night for me to be with her. She’s always flirting with me, especially since
what happened the last time we studied at her place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron thought to himself as he
shuddered at the regretful night of intimacy they had shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Why are you
sitting over there?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He looked at her with a grin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess I can’t dodge this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t let her punk me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron thought as he moved to a seat
next to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was staring at him as
he sat down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“What?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“You are just so
handsome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How does a girl get so lucky?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Ha. Chill out
with that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron tried to redirect
the pride welling up in his chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
liked being desired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Can’t take a
compliment?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah, just
chill out.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“You’re blushing
ain’t you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Lori.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not like you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m black.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We don’t blush.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Oh my
friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ya’ll blush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just because you don’t turn into red blow
pops doesn’t mean you don’t blush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know the blushing face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you’re doing
it right now.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Hahaha.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Red blow pops?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?” Cameron laughed at her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had that gift of always making him
laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re blushing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You like being complimented.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just admitted me Cameron.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She flirted, bashing her eyelashes and
leaning in closer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron nudged her
with his arm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Lori, chill
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to get studying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s already late.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Okay,” Lori
surrendered as she giggled to herself, “Think we’ll get any studying done this
time?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Lori.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to this time.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“I know, but
last time was so much fun.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Lori.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Okay
Cameron.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You ol’ nerd.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori said as she threw a fake tantrum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron laughed at her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">She is
so much fun to be with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Well, let’s get
started.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said as they cracked
open their books and began studying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
After a couple
hours had passed, Cameron began to notice that their production was getting
slower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ll go get us some coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we need it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
Cameron walked
across the library to the coffee shop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
a Tuesday night, the library was filled with students at Stillwater University
cramming for midterms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron ordered
two small cups of coffee and headed back to where they were studying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he got back, Lori had laid her head face
down on her book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron grinned at her,
chuckling at the scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her textbooks looked
like it was covered with a dirty blonde curly haired animal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Lori?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Want me to take you home?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron asked as he sat the cups of coffee
down on the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yeah, I’m
probably not going to get any more studying done.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori muffled, never raising her head from her
book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She then grabbed her coffee and started
to pack up her things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As they exited
the library and walked through the parking garage towards Cameron’s car, Lori
reached out and grabbed Cameron’s hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Uh? What is she doing? </i>Cameron thought
as he looked at her.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Lori, what are
you doing?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He finally asked her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“My hands are
cold.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She shrugged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Sure.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every fiber in his brain was telling him to shake his hand loose from
her grip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if he was honest with
himself, he wanted to be intimate with her again. Deep down, he really enjoyed
what happened last time, even though his conscience knew it was wrong.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
When they got to
her apartment, he walked her up since she was still extremely groggy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She opened the door and left it open for him
to follow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Sit your books
here?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron offered to sit them on
the couch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My roommate hates that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bring them into my room.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She slurred as she fumbled around to avoid
turning on any lights in the common area of her apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i>Cameron thought to himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I said I wouldn’t go into her room ever
again to protect us both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>“Sure.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron said, ignoring the voice in his
head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was getting afraid that he was
getting too used to doing that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cameron
got into her room and noticed she had cleaned up a significant amount since the
last time he was there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also noticed
her open diary sitting on her desk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Curious, he walked over to it and sat her book bag on the floor next to
her desk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He leaned over the diary to catch
a peek of it content until a voice interrupted his stealth attempt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What
are you doing?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh,
nothing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron defended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
saw you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t you dare.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori said as she walked over to her chest of
drawers and started to change into her pajamas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are
you seriously going to just change right in front of me?” Cameron asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Cameron?
Really?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said as she changed into
her silk pink pajamas and an old softball shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron couldn’t help but look around the room
to avoid looking at her beautifully toned athletic body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Have
you written about me in this diary?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Cameron asked as he picked it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Maybe.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lori said as she walked over towards him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mood in the room caused Cameron’s stomach
to tighten. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is
it private?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No,
not really.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said as she grabbed it
and flipped three pages before the book marked place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She handed it back to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Read that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cameron’s
stomach tightened as he sat down in her chair and began to read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">October 9<sup>th</sup>, </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tonight, was a surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always thought Cameron was a good guy,
one of those goody goody kind of guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He’s always been really sweet to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I could tell something was different about him, but even as I write this
I still don’t know what it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He jokingly
told me at work one day that when it gets dark, he’s a different person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I saw it tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has an interesting private side of
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of men aren’t as discrete
about it as he is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know, I think
I like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows how to have a good
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoyed having him here tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been lonely since Roger broke up with
me; it felt nice to have someone hold me again, to be with me again, to make me
feel good…again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I don’t want
Cameron to feel like a rebound, because he’s not that to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can tell. I hope we
have another night like tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cameron
looked up at Lori who was now standing over him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So,
what ya think?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s
really nice.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cameron lied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had been convicted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows why he’s different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows why she thinks he’s special. Flashbacks
from the last time he was in her room kept running through Cameron’s mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had the most beautiful blue eyes that
always sucks him in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he was weak,
and he liked how much Lori admired him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lori leaned in to kiss Cameron, and he couldn’t resist wanting to kiss
her back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I know I shouldn’t be here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I want to be here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron thought to himself as he let her
kiss him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He picked her up and took her
over to her bed and they repeated what happened the last time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It
feels good to be wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somebody wants
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wants me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I want her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
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About an hour
later, Cameron was leaving her apartment and driving home with his heart heavy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hadn’t even made it to the car before his
lack of self-control was condemning him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, why do I keep falling?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why can’t I give up being intimate with a
woman?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I shouldn’t, but God,
I’m…I’m…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron was in tears as he
drove. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had to turn off his cd player
because the worship cd that was playing was the last thing he wanted to
hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t want to hear about the
glories of God because he had abandoned them for a few minutes of quick
temporary pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was ashamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
He parked his
car in his apartment parking lot close to 4:30 AM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wiped his face and walked into his
apartment and went straight to his room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He shut his door and felt the need to pray but talked himself out of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God doesn’t want to talk to me right
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve disappointed Him again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Cameron grieved as he undressed and got
into bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I wouldn’t want to talk to me if I was God. </i>Cameron’s sin mocked
him that night as he quickly fell asleep, trying to escape the
humiliation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-34266490401121328192013-11-18T12:38:00.001-06:002013-11-18T12:40:09.775-06:00"Sweetly Broken" Chapter 1 (Snippet)Since many of you are great supporters of my writing, I wanted to keep the buzz going for the book by giving you all a few snippets of the re-write of my first book called, Sweetly Broken. This is a great way for you to get re-introduced to the characters, or for some you, this is your first time meeting them. I hope you love them as much as I love writing their story. Would love to hear your first impressions. Ignore the technical and grammatical errors, lol. I'm awful at editing. So for chapter 1, I want you to meet, Kayla Evans. <br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">chapter<span style="font-family: "Felix Titling";">ONE</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
“Tomorrow is our two year anniversary,” Kayla Evans
said with a sigh to her girlfriends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
four girls were having a “Girl’s Night” at Christie and Rachel’s luxurious apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were all cozied up in blankets and
pajama pants, lounging on the couches and chairs sipping coffee and
chatting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“You don’t sound
too excited about it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rachel said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Well, I haven’t
heard anything from James about any kind of plans.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said as she took a sip of her
coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“You think he remembered?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Who
knows?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla shrugged, clearly
discouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Kay, you know
men like James don’t pay attention to things like that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rachel said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Girl, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all men</i> today don’t pay attention to things
like that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki corrected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unanimous agreement went across the
room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Which is why WE
have to train them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone knows men
need us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even God said it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we have to be the ones to teach them how
to be good boyfriends and husbands.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kayla asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to train them girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he doesn’t know how to make you happy then
you teach him how to make you happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Like this situation, for example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You have a perfect opportunity to train him in how to make you happy by
letting him know that you’re expecting to celebrate tomorrow for your two year
anniversary.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“What? How would
I do that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Okay,” Nikki
began as she sat up right in her chair, “Text him right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But don’t make it obvious that you’re
dropping a hint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give him a chance to be
‘the man’ and say it in a way that he can still take credit for it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“So like, ‘Hey
babe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t wait to celebrate our two
year anniversary tomorrow.’?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla
asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“PERFECT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exactly! Something like that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki screamed as she clapped her hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other girls grinned nervously, unsure of
the ingenious theory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla unfolded her
legs on the couch and reached for her cell phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She found James’s number and started to
compose a text message.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: .5in;">
<b>HEY BABE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I CANNOT WAIT TO CELEBRATE OUR TWO YEAR
ANNIVERSARY TOMORROW. IT’S BEEN AN INCREDIBLE TWO YEARS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR
MAKING IT SO GREAT. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Kayla
read the text out loud as she typed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
fiddled with her nails and bit her bottom lip before sending the text
message.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There
you go girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Train him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki said as Rachel and Christie just nodded
and watched in suspense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hehe,”
Kayla giggled, “This is kind of fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
feels a little risky though.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said
as she sat her phone back down and looked at her girlfriends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It
kind of is. But, risky is the game of love.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nikki assured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Amen
to that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rachel and Christie said
almost in unison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do
you really think he didn’t remember?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Christie asked as she tied her blonde hair into a pony tail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
honestly don’t know.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla answered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I really have no faith in him though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
has learned to bring me cookie dough ice cream when I’m mad at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is about every three weeks.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cookie dough ice cream is a pacifier for you?”
Christie asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well,
I wouldn’t say a pacifier, I’d say more of a….”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kayla rolled her eyes to the top of her head in thought of a better
word, until finally giving up the search and laughing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Eh, you’re right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess that is what a pacifier is huh?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeahhhhhh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s sad Kayla.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christie said while shaking her head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Shut
up!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla tossed a pillow across the
room as they all shared a laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh,
this is him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla responded after her
phone buzzed in her lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b>ME
TOO. BE READY TOMORROW AT 6</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Kayla
read the text out loud after reading it silently to herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s
it? No, I’ve had a great two years too? None of that? Ugh, he’s so
unaffectionate.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Train
him girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Train him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Repeated Nikki.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
***</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
next night, Nikki was at Kayla’s apartment to help her get ready for her anniversary
date with James.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Is it weird
that I’m nervous?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla asked Nikki
while she was doing her hair and helping her with makeup.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are you nervous?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s why I’m asking.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said. Nikki shook her head and looked
at the clock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s
almost 6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you ready?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki asked as she sat down the hot comb and
let Kayla look at the results of her hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,
I think so.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said as she stepped
back in front of the mirror and looked herself over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was wearing a clingy teal blue strapless dress
that stopped mid-way down her thigh with tan tie up heels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
think I’m ready?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What do you think?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is the dress too tight?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Girl,
only you can pull that dress off. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it
looks great on you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll be drooling by
the time drink orders come.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki said
as she looked at Kayla in the mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah?”
Kayla asked as she pulled on the dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Because I need to spice things up a little bit.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,
as a matter of fact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should walk to
the bathroom right after you guys order your drinks so he can see you again in
the dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s a secret about
men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They get really excited when their
girl is walking through a room in a dress like this because he knows other men
are looking at you and they’ll be envious of him.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said as she blankly stared in the
mirror.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And
besides all of that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just calm
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tonight is going to be great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re going on a date with a man you love,
celebrating your two year anniversary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s a big deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enjoy
it!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just
calm down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tonight is going to be
great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re going on a date with a man
you love, celebrating your two year anniversary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enjoy it!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kayla repeated out loud to herself in a monotone voice as she continued
to stare at herself in the mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Remember
to train him.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Remember
to train him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla repeated out loud
again in the same monotone voice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It
feels like I’m programming you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It
feels like I’m programming you.” Kayla repeated in a robotic voice and started
to laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki slapped her on the arm
and walked out of the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
laugh helped Kayla calm down a little as she walked out into the living room to
wait for James to get there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As soon as
she sat down, her phone buzzed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
picked it up off her coffee table.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b>HEY,
I’M OUTSIDE</b>. Kayla read the text out loud.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He’s
outside? What does that mean?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It
means he’s outside Nikki.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s texting
me from the car outside in the parking lot.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kayla said as she got up to grab her purse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No
ma’am!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to train him Kayla.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ya’ll are entering into a new season of your
lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Two years!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your relationship
is on a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whole</i> new level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So he needs to bring his gentlemen game up to
a new level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make him come to the
door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Train him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Tell
him that you’re not quite ready yet and he should come up here and wait for
you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Kayla
texted that verbatim and sat the phone back down on the coffee table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sat on the edge of her couch to wait for
his response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How
long do we wait?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Make
him wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Train him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki kept saying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So Kayla and Nikki just stared at the phone
for almost five minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is
he serious?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where is he?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Told
you. I’ll just go on down.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla.
Sit down and make him wait.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki
suggested again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So they both stared at
the clock for another five minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Told
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m about to go.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s ridiculous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, have an attitude tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bring it up that he didn’t come up to the
door and then play hard to get all night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Make him work for it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki
winked as she gave her final advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Gotcha.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla returned the gestured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well have fun girl!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nikki said as she followed behind her to head
to her own apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Kayla
locked up her third floor apartment and walked down the stairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When she got to the parking lot she saw James
still sitting in his car, not moving. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is he asleep? I knew I shouldn’t have had
him wait that long.</i> Kayla thought to herself as she approached the
car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as she got closer, she saw the
glow from his cell phone on his face and a large grin plastered on his
lips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What is he doing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He better not be texting someone!?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>Kayla softly walked
up to the car and opened her door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
startled James a little bit when the car door so suddenly opened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And after seeing Kayla, he stopped in the
middle of typing a text message and put his phone in his left pocket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why
didn’t you come up?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She asked. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
never come up.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But
I asked you to because I wasn’t done getting ready.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
know. I didn’t mind waiting in the car.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Did
you even realize how long you were waiting?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Huh?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said as he looked at the clock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What were you doing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who were you texting?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nobody.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting
like that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
didn’t come up to the door.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla.
I never do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That walk is too long.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ugh.
Whatever.” Kayla rolled her eyes and jerked her seatbelt around her body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She shoved the clip into the buckle and
flopped back in her passenger seat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why
are you starting an argument on our two year anniversary about something as
petty as me coming to the door?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you
chill out please? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is supposed to
be----”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay
James! Sorry. Let’s just go!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla
interrupted him because she hates being called petty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All I asked is for you to come up to the
door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m being petty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On our two year anniversary, you couldn’t
come up to the door. </i>Kayla thought to herself as she stared at the window.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>The car was silent
as James took her to a nice Italian restaurant in the downtown area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were seated right away at a table in the
middle of the restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Well this is nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Kayla thought to herself as they sat
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The waiter promptly greeted them
and asked for their drink orders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
soon as the drinks were ordered, Kayla executed what Nikki suggested.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Where’s your
restroom?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla asked the waiter as he
pointed across the restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“James, I’ll be
right back.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said as she got up
and walked away from the table. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As she
walked with great posture and grace towards the restroom, she cut her eyes
across the room and noticed a few guys were checking her out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When she got to the restroom, she sat her
purse on the sink and looked in the mirror and started to check her hair and
makeup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nikki does such a good job with my hair and
makeup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Kayla said to herself as she
sighed. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But why don’t I feel right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t feel special at all right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Kayla thought to herself as she pulled on
her dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Kayla.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop being petty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know James love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let go of all of that stuff from earlier and enjoy
dinner with the man you love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>She
said to herself as she grabbed her purse and left the restroom with a fixed
attitude.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
As soon as she
turned the corner, she looked at her table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>James was texting someone again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Are you kidding me? Who could he possibly be
texting right now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ugh! </i>Kayla said
to herself as she prepared to unleash some rage when she returned to the
table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when she was a few feet from
the table, he looked up at her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
looked as if he had just seen her for the first time as high eyes bulged out of
his head and a huge smile arose on his face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Kayla?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“What?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla asked now confused. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“You look so
amazing tonight.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said, and
instantly her anger went away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“Thank
you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She blushed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I can’t
believe that worked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
After she sat
down, the night took a turn towards perfection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They share a lovely dinner and great laughs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James knows how to make Kayla laugh, which is
one of the things she loves about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After dinner, they went for a walk up to the park that had a scenic
trial with great views of downtown and the river that flowed through the
city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They held hands and shared sweet
sentiments until Kayla started to get cold so they headed back to his
apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So,
what are you thinking we close the night with?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>James asked as they drove through town towards his apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
have some ice cream and a movie we can watch?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
have Netflix. And, I’m pretty sure there’s some ice cream in there.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay,
we can do that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Any
toppings?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James asked with a wink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Maybe.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla teased.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>James grinned back at her as he turned into his apartment complex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I
really don’t want to have sex tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m enjoying how special I feel right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Kayla said to herself as they
parked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She felt a tightness in her
stomach growing but she ignored it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
Kayla had
noticed that every time they have sex, she has a hard time of not thinking
about all the other girls he has had sex with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But in that moment, she was the only one being treated like a
girlfriend, and she didn’t want to lose how special that made her feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that moment, he was all hers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They
entered into his apartment and James immediately flipped on his PS3 and loaded
up Netflix while Kayla fixed two bowls of chocolate ice cream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James walked up behind Kayla in the kitchen
and wrapped his arms around her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
loved when their bodies touched.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
strong arms and 6’3 frame always comforted her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His cell phone that was lying on the counter on silent notified him that
he had just received a text message.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
quickly picked it up and put it back into his back pocket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who
was that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla asked over her
shoulder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Um,
just Jeff.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
didn’t even look at the phone.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I know its Jeff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him something earlier.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Kayla
just stared back at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was not
liking how distracting his cell phone had been all night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anger began to rise up in her stomach again
because she could tell he was hiding something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James,
who was that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sternly asked as she
wiggled out of his grip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chill out okay?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t ruin this moment with fighting.” James
said as he stepped towards her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Whatever.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said as she pushed away from him and
grabbed her bowl of ice cream and walked into the living room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sat on the couch and started to flip
through Netflix’s movie choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James
followed behind her and sat right next to her on the couch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why
are you all on me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla asked as she
continued to flip through the movie selections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Because
I want you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James was rubbing his hands
down her revealing leg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well
I want to watch a movie.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But
you’re looking so nice in that dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t want to watch a movie anymore.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>James said as he tried to remove the controller from her hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James,
look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Didn’t you want to see that
movie?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla tried to redirect his attention.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla,
tonight is our special night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A movie
would ruin this moment.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said as
he leaned on her and started to kiss her on her neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James.
I really want to watch a movie.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla
continued to squirm away from his efforts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Come
on Kayla.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James,
seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla pushed away from him; but he was
relentless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla,
I love you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said as he leaned on
top of her again and started to kiss her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His hands were already reaching to unzip her dress.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James,
seriously. I really want to watch a movie.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kayla kept trying to redirect his attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla,
come on.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James!
I want to watch a movie!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla,
stop fighting it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You know you want this</i>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Immediately,
Kayla had a flashback of a tragic incident that happened in her past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That sentence was a trigger to a dungeon full
of suppressed fears and emotions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla
started to hyperventilate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Babe?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said as he climbed off of her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“James.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take me home. Please.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said in between deep gasps of breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James couldn’t help but stare at her as her
breathing got heavier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“JAMES!
TAKE ME HOME!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla let out a piercing
scream and violently pushed him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
jumped off the couch and ran to the front door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her breathing had gotten worse as she tried to remove the chain lock
from the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her quivering hands
couldn’t steady enough to precisely remove the chain properly, so she punched
the door with her hand and fell to the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla?
What did I…” James asked. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“JAMES!
TAKE ME HOME!” Kayla screamed again with tears streaming from her eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was violently shaking with terror in her
eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James walked over to the door,
unchained the lock, and tried to pick her up off the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As soon as James reached for her, Kayla
started to punch at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
“STOP! GET OFF
OF ME!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla screamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her eyes were closed and her breathing was
getting worst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When she felt the draft
from the outside sweep up her legs, she jumped up and ran out the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She skipped steps as she ran down the two
flights of stairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her breathing was
heavier as she ran through the parking lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She sprinted until one of her heels broke in a sewage drain, causing her
to fall to the ground right in front of James’s apartment complex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She crawled over to the curb and sobbed for
15 minutes as memories from her past resurfaced and started to haunt her
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She couldn’t shake the image of
her uncle that had sexually abused her when she was 14 years old, which had
happened only 6 years before that night. That man had removed her innocence on
his account and for his own pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
had taken her virginity and left her broken and shamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
Kayla sat on the
curb at the entrance of the apartment complex and wept there until she could
get herself together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Kayla, be strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James is not that man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He’s not here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>She finally started to tell herself as
she felt herself still shaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla
got up off the street and started to head towards her apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dark shadows on the street were
terrifying her as she walked down the quiet street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She somehow was still holding James’s PS3
controller.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ugh. I wish this was my cell phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want a ride home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Kayla thought to herself as she
walked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though she lived in a
reasonably safe town, Kayla was looking over her shoulder every few
seconds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when she was halfway to her
apartment, she felt a raindrop hit her on her hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh! Please no!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>She said to herself as she looked up to
the sky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as soon as she thought
that, the bottom fell out and it started to pour down raining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sprinted towards a bus stop awning that
was about 50 yards away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sat down on
the bench, already drenched from the rain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No no no! </i>Kayla screamed to
herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My shoes are ruined!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dress is
ruined!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My hair is ruined!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My makeup is ruined!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I don’t have my cell phone to call for a
ride, or a friend, or James! Ugh!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>And
then suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness gripped her soul deeply,
and she started to weep again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How do I manage to get myself into these
crazy situations? </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
***</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
next morning Kayla was sitting in her apartment when a knock came at her
door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sat down her journal and
walked over to see who was at the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She looked through the peephole and was surprised at who was standing on
the other side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla immediately
blushed as she opened the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla shamefully greeted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s
up?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James nervously asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Come
in.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I,
um, brought your cell phone.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh
yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have your controller.” Kayla said as she
grabbed it from her coffee table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thanks.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said as he looked around the apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla was trying to read him but he looked
completely emotionless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You okay?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>James asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m so sorry if I freaked you out or anything
last night.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know what to do.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m
sorry.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What
happened?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nothing.
Just….” Kayla hated to tell people about her past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It always makes her feel dirty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she hated when people pitied her; she
wasn’t in the mood for that today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just,
some things from my past.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kayla.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What happened?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
really don’t like telling people about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want to bother you with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m fine.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kayla said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I was honest about it with my last
boyfriend, and it scared him away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
helping you James, trust me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m helping
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s for the best. </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His facial expression changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
seemed extremely uncomfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well, I
have to get going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll hit you up
later.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kayla said as she watched him mentally debate
whether to hug her or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He gave up
and headed towards the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No, please stay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want to ask but I would love it if
you stayed and just held me all day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
still hurting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Kayla thought to
herself as she followed him to the door and watched him leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t even turn around when he left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is about to become an issue. </i>Kayla thought to herself as tears
started to roll down her face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Here we go again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll never escape this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-31061731819610036572013-11-12T16:59:00.001-06:002013-11-12T16:59:23.371-06:00The Air War of Sexual Purity<br />
First let me explain the term I used in the title. "An Air War" is the opposite of "A Ground War", which is a practical day to day discipline and grind. So picture your day to day devotion with God, your daily bible readings, your daily prayer, all of those are aspects of a ground war being done. It is the war of pounding the feet and daily disciplines. So the "Air War" is the war that is above us, the thing that is motivating you to do those daily Bible readings and daily devotion; it's the daily grind work. It deals with the matters of the proclaimed word of God and the revelatory moments of His nature and character transforming us. Both are necessary. The Air War holds the hope, and it helps with being more strategic on the ground similar to the use of spy planes and etc, to give an illustration. To clear it up more, the Ground War is you getting to the gym and banging out the reps and cooking healthy meals, and the Air War would be the mental awareness of remembering the hope of a healthier life which gets you to show up to the gym. Got it? Now let's work. <br />
<br />
As a growing male in our sexually driven culture, there are challenges that are present that are old in definition, but new in their presentation. Young boys used to have to very work hard to get access to pornography, and now it is easily accessible by a simple Google search. Marketing geniuses knows they can get us to buy anything if they slap a pretty woman somewhere near it. Quotes like "sex sales" drives the money businesses everywhere. Women are more insecure about their bodies and worth because of this, so we are being more exposed to the privacies of a woman without intention on a day to day basis. So even with parental controls, eye bouncing techniques, kissing dating goodbye, you'd nearly have to leave planet Earth to get away from the external temptation of sex. So as I have struggled over the years with my own sexual temptations, what I quickly began to notice was that, "this fight is not easy". <br />
<br />
I did a bible study one year called "Every Mans Battle", and had a fantastic time with a group of guys who were passionate about Jesus but could not seem to win this battle of sexual purity. The book was offering great details and advice on how to fight this battle of the eyes as we were learning that many of our actions are habitual. One of the most enlightening things I learned from the book was that we have habitually learned that when you look at a woman you check her body out. Like, it's not even a thought anymore. It's just as natural as looking at your door handle as you reach for the door to open it. It's part of the process of how we interact with women. <br />
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And as painful as that might be for many of you to hear, it may even help you not take things so personally. Part of the sexual decay in men from this is that women have become so objectified that it's not even about the women, it's just the simple fact that you are a woman and therein lies a resource to our own satisfaction. And at that point, when the hormones are raging and the hunger is screaming for physical intimacy, your soul is not a concern. Which in lies the issue and my direction for you to consider the air war of sexual purity. <br />
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My dealings with the Gospel has opened my eyes to how silly humans are. We actually think that external things will make us holy. So many of us honestly believe that if I just put up the parental controls, then my lust will come to an end. I've heard preachers tell us to smash our laptops and destroy CDs that defile women, all can be replaced. OR we honestly believe that when I eventually get married, I'll be okay. I'm getting it on the regular, I shouldn't be in need of it right? Lol. Ask any married man about that one. OR we honestly believe, if I just stare at the ground, I won't look at every girl on campus, that works well until you run into someone. But hear me, all of these are part of the ground war and are good tactical things to fight this. But the truth is, since our very nature is sinful and wicked, we will find a way to get what our imperfect dying bodies are ultimately after---death. So without the air war, which is the internal re-engineering and the motivation to do the ground war, we will shrug off the ground war of sexual purity due to our desire for comfort, just like you would skip a week at the gym because we don't feel like going. And in my growth as a believer in Jesus and having this monkey on my back for so long, I remember my first encounter that this battle for sexual purity was an air war. <br />
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I did an internship at my church in the summer of 2009. I was the only guy mixed in with 9 girls, which turned out to be a very good thing for me. One morning at our 6 AM chapel, I was sitting in the front row of the church in prayer. And I felt God direct me to turn around and look at the 9 women in the room, in which some had their hands raised in worship, others were reading their bibles, while a few were crying as they wrote in their journals. And God continued His dialogue, "This is how I want all <i><b>MY</b></i> daughters to look."<br />
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Whoa. <br />
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It makes a difference when you know who claims them. And the fact a holy and majestic God claimed them, and that precious royal blood was shed for the ladies in the room, I was afraid to hug them after that. But the difference that made was remarkable because it wasn't anything practical, it was simply just the glory of God being revealed me that He claims them. Which means that the glory of God is this air war that I'm talking about. <br />
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So men, unfortunately, we are not going to be able to escape the visible and external temptation of sex in our culture. Women will continue to wear less and there's nothing we can do about it. However, God has called us to lead in all situations. Eve could have slapped Adam in the face with the forbidden fruit with her naked body exposed but he was still supposed to remain pure to the holy command of God that said do not eat it. Which means regardless of the culture, regardless of what women are doing, regardless of their lack of attention to modesty, God is calling for us to lead and love first and well. So even if women were to walk around naked, throwing themselves at us every 9.3 seconds, if we are winning our sexual purity battle in the air, we will be able to live lives of integrity to the covenant of Jesus. So let's chat about it. <br />
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<b>1. Remember to fear God.</b> <br />
I think many churches are
enabling us to not fear God, therein not take our sin seriously, because of their lack of desire to preach
the full wrath of God. And I understand why. Many of them were raised
in the time when "fire and brimestone" preaching was popular and it was
turning people away from God because He sounded hateful, and these
passionate preachers have discovered God's grace and loves it deeply---as
they should--- and have set up camp to only preach the fullness of God's
grace. But that is an over correction. Because it's not like the fire and
brimestone preaching was completely false. Judgement <i>is</i> waiting for unrepentant sin, and we cannot give an accurate presentation of the
Gospel without allowing the good news to invade the bad news. So a
balance of the tension is in order. We can't define God's grace
without establishing the bad news of His wrath. And I'll go so far as to say that we can't fully grasp the weight of His love and mercy without experiencing the weight of His wrath. And for the air war to be effective, some realities of God's nature and character has to be healthy within our hearts. We must be aware of God's omnipresence, that there are no private matters of the heart or our actions. So he sees that side glance. He sees that text message. He sees that phone call. He sees you in your room by yourself with your laptop. He sees it all. And I know many of us do not like to sit under that kind of tension, even as I wrote it I sped through it, but we must know that there's a fullness to be gained from fearing God. But sadly, many of us have a hard time understanding how to fear and love authority because we didn't have fathers who focused on creating the balance in the tension of the two. So we have a hard time understanding how fearing God by His commands is Him desiring to lead us in experiencing a greater joy---so imagine Him saying, "I created it all, so I kinda know how its suppose to work". Its the difference in teaching young men that premarital sex is a sin and it's wrong and we shouldn't do it because God hates it, versus discipling young men in that truth and helping them to grow in the fullness of God to understand that there is a beautiful joy and protection offered when sex is enjoyed in a marriage, a covenant between a man and woman, a beautiful bond shared between these two people who know each other deeply and live in the fear of God that seals the marriage. But until that maturity is gained, the "because God is offended by it" has to be sufficient. <br />
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<b>2. Remember that a woman's ultimate purpose is not for your use</b>.<br />
Women, along with men, were primarily designed to bring God's glory. So our "needs" we claim we have to need sex whenever our body's scream for it, is a lie. She was not designed to complete you or fill that void. So when your body begins to long for physical intimacy and something to eat, you remember that she is not there to satisfy your hunger. So this motivates the ground war by keeping us off the XXX sites or sending that late night text, asking to come over. <br />
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<b>3. Remember that women are blood bought. </b><br />
God claims them as His own, because He paid a price for them. Royal blood was spilled for them, and I've read the Old Testament and because of point number 1 from earlier, I know that God takes very serious the people He's in covenant with. So stop messing over His daughters. They are His. And there's things we wouldn't say to a woman if her dad was sitting right next to her with a shotgun and a police record. Know who claims them. They are daughters of a holy God. <br />
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<b>4. Remember you are blood bought too. </b><br />
God claims us as well. My favorite story to help explain this is the story of the prodigal son. If you haven't read it, check out Luke 15:11-32. In the story, when the son sins against his father and God, he finds himself lost, broken, and without money. He then finds himself desiring the food that he was feeding some pigs of someone he worked for, and he remembered that in his father's house he was offered better. So he returns home, desiring to convince his father that he doesn't deserve to be called son, and so he will gratefully assume the role as a hired servant. But the father, so gracious and merciful, doesn't receive his plea, but instead calls him son and allows him back into the house. Now the prodigal son could have continued with his agreement of wanting
to be a hired servant, or he could respond to the father calling him a
son. Sons eat well. Sons are loved well. Sons rest and enjoy life
next to the father. And this is the story of us, men, my brother. Sin is beneath us because God is offering us so much better in His house. My brothers, God is offering us the same invitation. We don't have to eat of sin's temporary, empty and vain promises. We don't have to eat of it's defilable, contaminated, and disgusting nature, but God has the best of the best, which is Himself, and better for us to eat from. Which means that this fight of sexual purity is us realizing that God has better intimacy awaiting us than a girl we don't know on our laptop screen. Which means he has better for us than the fleeting pleasure of a one night stands. He has in Him, a fullness and a joy that is inexplicably awesome awaiting when we worship Him through the beauty of how he has designed sex to be, a pleasure---yes a pleasure--- to be fully enjoyed between a man and a woman who is in love with Jesus and in love with each other. <br />
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And we will never reach that fullness of the air war without diving deeper in our relationship with Jesus. If you stay on the ground too long, you are missing out on enjoying the relational aspect of being reunited with the Savior of our souls and the truth that God is calling us sons--- in that, we are Kings----in that, a living King is living inside of us and guess what? You're better than sin because of that. <br />
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Let us live as such. <br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-42291110631843283492013-11-11T03:34:00.002-06:002013-11-11T03:51:30.303-06:00The Thorn in the Flesh of ManhoodCan I challenge you to do something, just while you're reading this
blog?<br />
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I know you may have your own opinions and frustrations towards
men, trust me, I am fully aware of the even justifiable tension from the opposite sex to be greatly
disgusted with men in our culture. Trust me when I say that I grieve along with many of you women, when someone is telling you to "wait on a good guy", and the lack of hope that follows with that positive saying. I know that's a tall order when you're looking around the church and it's 75% women and 25% men. (My own numbers, lol) So I'm
aware how many of you feel. And with those
things being present, I'm asking you to sit them to the side and let's
examine some trues that I want to share with you about men. I think this
could be helpful for men and women. So, just for the next maybe 5
minutes, I am asking that you sympathize with us as you read. Please?<br />
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Got your heart ready? Okay, let's work. <br />
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Imagine all the men that get on your nerves or sickens you as the reality that they were once little boys. More than likely little boys that if you ran across them in a supermarket in a baby stroller you'd deem as extremely adorable. So as these little boys, let's hope they had someone to nourish and cherish them while they were young. But sadly, many young boys start to get neglected at an early age. Video games and cartoons are left to raise us, to occupy our time, because no one wants to engage with us and develop us. It's almost as if we're in the way. Well, we didn't ask to be born. <br />
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And so these isolated and lonely little boys grow up to be young boys, with many never having had the freedom and the security to be vulnerable and safely fail because so many times when we showed pain as children we were told to "man up", "slap some dirt on it and move on", "that's what men are supposed to do". So instinctively, at still a very early age, we have learned that you deal with your own problems and weaknesses and <i>never</i> show emotion, because people will mock you and use it against you to challenge your masculinity.<br />
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When Tim Tebow lost in his final game as a Florida Gator in the SEC Championship game, people from all over mocked and laughed at him for crying on the sidelines after they were defeated. Names like "cry baby" were tossed around because a man couldn't help but to express the very passion that he was praised for his entire college career, but then as that passion and love for football and the University of Florida caused tears to pour out of his eyes, his masculinity was challenge. And in the sports world, even internally, there's no relief. I played football in high school, and if you had any kind of injury you were laughed at for telling the coach about it. I had an high ankle sprain going into my senior year, and coaches would scream at me for being soft because I was favoring my hurt ankle when I ran the ball. Because, hey, football players are tough guys and are expected to play through pain, because that's what men do. So again, we are trained to isolate ourselves and deal with it on our own. No one is willing to share in the pain with us, and culture continues to tell us "you're a man, deal with it yourself". "Get over it and move on". So players around the world have serious injuries but they feel obligated to continue to play through them because they don't want to be called soft--which is more challenging of their masculinity-- because they have pain. <br />
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A newer story that's circulating now is a Miami Dolphin player quit the team for being bullied. And of course, the entire world is having a field day with laughing at this guy. Once again, which I'm sure I sound like a broken record now, telling him to "man up", isolate yourself and deal with that issue. My friends, the rest of the men in the world are paying attention to your bashing--and guess what you're telling us. <br />
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If anybody messes with you, to save you the humiliation, don't tell anybody! Because let's just use common sense and basic math, I'd rather 79 people on a football team challenge my masculinity than 100,000,000 people. And we wonder why our young men are committing suicide because of depression. And unwritten rules like, "snitches get stitches", are crippling us in nearly every aspects of our lives. Shhh...don't tell anybody. And I can guarantee you many of the mass shootings that has happened was probably because a young boy wanted to prove he was a man because so many people have challenged his masculinity.<br />
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And I'm convinced that the growing rate of sexual promiscuity is a reason for this as well. Many men have been told that sexual conquests are defining elements of masculinity. And so we love our locker room story swap. Our chest poke out some when we're able to share a story or relate to someone else's sexual encounters. As disgusted as I am of my past I even have to repent of this one. My masculinity has been challenged throughout the years because I have chosen to respect women, but in high school I got tired of the challenging so I gave into the peer pressure and started engaging with women intimately---and seriously---only to be able to have a story to share! (God help us). And since meeting Jesus and many years of Him discipling me and claiming Lord over areas in my life, I'm back to being challenged again when I'm being mocked as "being afraid of a woman" because I'm choosing to deny a woman offering me the best of herself.<br />
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So the men that have to deal with this daily, we're also asking them to join our more feminized churches. All the songs are emotionally driven lyrically, that many of us are uncomfortable with allowing ourselves to connect with because everything else in culture tells us we shouldn't do that, because remember, showing emotion is a weakness. And I love the over correction because what's a more "masculinized" church? Rock Christian songs instead of ballets and beef jerky instead of pastries? Root beer instead of coffee? Sports scores running across the bottom of the screen during announcements? Lol, who knows? <br />
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But what I do know is that this thorn in the flesh of manhood runs deep. It started years ago when someone didn't console us when we had a boo-boo. Now, a lot of men are seriously incapable of admitting weaknesses and failures because we fear being disrespected and mocked. So we will remain silent as we sexually decay into animals. We will remain content in our inadequacies. We will remain distant to avoid responsibility of our actions. I had a great friend tell me one time that he struggles with facing his son after he and the mother divorced, and that sometimes he doesn't even want to pick him up on his weekend to get him because he hates dealing with the shame. But I loved this guy because he said, Claude, it takes a man to face the shame and endure that and working to make it right. And that's when it hit me....I wonder how many of these "trifling fathers" deep down actually want to be great fathers? But they have no idea how to be one so they run? Yes, it's a lose lose situation, but it hurts more when you try and you fail. Because our culture has made fun of us for so long when we are vulnerable, and these frustrated mothers continue to press into these men by reminding them how lousy they are, which is feeding more into the pain they are probably already wrestling with on how inadaquent are to be a real man. <br />
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If you're a male reading this, I'm here to tell you that it's okay for you to fail and be imperfect. There's a Gospel that has already exposed your short comings, so guess what? No one can call you out on your imperfections, it's already out, you've already been exposed. BUT, and this is a big BUT, there is a man named Jesus who is extremely interested in firstly, loving you and bringing you to Himself, and He wants to help you be the man that I know deep down you really want to be. It's hard for me to believe that you want to suck as a man. No one wakes up and wants to be awful. So in a way that many people cannot understand, you're doing your best because it's the best you know, which also means that it's not entirely your fault if no one has bothered to share in the pain that you have harbored for so many years. <br />
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But Jesus is offering to share in that pain. <br />
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So please hear me, you really have more people in your corner than you realize. You have an almighty God that wants to breathe life into you and enable you to be the man He has called you to be. You have way more purpose than you realize. You have a reason to be here. If you knew how serious your role was in the lives of EVERYBODY around you, I bet you'd respond differently. Which I know that may freak you out some, but don't let it. God is not leaving you to do anything alone like everybody else did. And when we get that boo-boo, or rather when we fail, His Gospel reminds us that we are covered by the blood of Jesus and through that grace He enables and empowers us to press on towards the mark of full sanctification--in other words, He's saying "man up", but He's offering you a Fatherly relationship and also saying, "Let me show you how." <br />
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So my brother, that's all you need is Jesus. And He's agreeing with everybody that you're not that awesome, <i>but</i> unlike many people from your past who has told you that, He has been the only person to do something about your weaknesses and wants to turn them into strengths for His glory. So suit up! You're a king when you're in Christ.<br />
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For I'm convinced that if more men knew who claimed them and walked in the power appointed by God for His sons to impact this world, we'd see those "greater things" Jesus speaks of in John 14:12 <span class="woj"><sup> </sup></span><br />
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<span class="woj"><i><sup>"</sup>Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. "</i></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-32061565205475497952013-11-09T03:44:00.005-06:002013-11-14T15:57:27.127-06:00The "Content In My Singleness" MythThe older I get the more entertaining the modern day mind is becoming to me, especially in my Christian circles. Today I want to tackle this, "content in my singleness" illusion that so many Christian's are adopting as doctrine. And yes, I read "I Kiss Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris, and I actually recommend it. So in saying that, I am in no way trying to bash a new approach to relationships, however, I am asking you to really think about some of things we tell ourselves in order to be "happy" with something God has cursed...I mean blessed us with.<br />
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As 2013 is nearing its end, I am sure that I will be labeling this year as the "Jealousy Year". In this year alone, I have had many good friends enter into new relationships or seal the deal with a nice wedding. And as I internally fold my arms and pout and say, "God, when will my turn be?" I continue to smile and say things like, "I'm happy for you guys".<br />
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And I genuinely am; I'm not that big of a hater. <i>But</i> if I really finished the sentence, it would really go something like, "I'm really happy for you guys, but I can't wait till it's my turn." And I have no one to blame but our culture. Social media has made it easier to be jealous of our friends. I think Facebook has mastered the news-feed setting "things to make you hate your life", because it just seems to know when the perfect time is to show someone's perfect life. Like every time a relationship status changes, you will know. Every time a new person is engaged, you will know. Every time a wedding is being done, you will know. It's the world we live in. I think we think, "Let me post it on Facebook" quicker than we think, "Let me tell my close friends", but that's not what this blog is about. This blog is for the people who have ever said something like, "I'm dating Jesus." I have a question, So, when you do get a boyfriend, you and Jesus breaking up? I don't think He'd be down for being the boyfriend on the side. <br />
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Stuff like that is what has encouraged me to write this blog, exposing the insufficiency of that kind of doctrine. Because you'd think after hearing it from so many different preachers and bible studies that we'd have it mastered by now. You'd think the Facebook posts wouldn't bother us at all as much as we have heard, "Let God write your love story" or, "in God's timing it will happen." Can I get an Amen from the Christians who know that "sometimes, that's just not enough." Let me hurt you a little. <br />
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I looked up the definition of content. It means to be satisfied, desiring no more than one has. So being content in our singleness would mean that you are fully satisfied with being single, and you don't desire anything else. And how many of us, "content in our singleness", can't even imagine being 40 years old and never having been married? You don't have to raise your hand, because I know that thought scares you, it scares me. Which is why I'm saying the we're trying to force ourselves to believe in an insufficient doctrine because the contentment we're speaking of is a temporary satisfaction. What we're really telling God, "Lord, I'm content in my singleness, for, maybe 3 more years, so hurry up." We desire more than our singleness, which means we are unsatisfied with being single. And I believe that's okay---only because---I think there's more to what God is wanting from us. <br />
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In this transitional time of my life, I have experienced the rollercoaster of insufficient doctrine. I have found myself finding hope in encouraging words that people have said like, "It'll happen Claude, just trust God." And they'd spit out the Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." And I have felt myself warm up inside because I trust that God is going to prosper me and provide this good job and wife one day just like everybody else---but then the next day happens---and there's no phone calls from a potential employer, and no texts from a pretty lady. And I'm bummed again. "Lord, I delighted in you yesterday, where's my desires!?"<br />
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I'll make this bold statement and say that God doesn't want you content in your singleness. I think He just wants you to be fully satisfied in Him. Not this, "Lord, I'll be happy in you even if I'm single for the rest of my life," please stop doing that. Nobody is making you think that, quit it. I think we sale ourselves short when we try these mind games to get ourselves to be happy about something in our lives. I remember being interested in a girl and we were having a discussion on how we could protect each other, and her way was, "I'm looking at you like this, you are somebody's future husband and I want to treat you like I'm hoping the girl is treating the guy I'll be marrying." And then suggested I do the same. I was thinking, "Naw, that won't work for me because I'm hoping you're the present wife." <br />
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But why not just revere God, and honor and love Him in all of our relationships by honoring and protecting this woman? We don't need that pyschobabble to be obedient to God. We forget that God is a relational God and He wants way more than just our begrudging obedience. So I shouldn't just honor a woman I'm seeing as a potential wife, no, all of them should be honored and valued. So you don't have to begrudgingly submit to God not blessing you with one of your greatest desires today, instead let's bite into the fullness of God---which I think we too often ignore the vastness of intimacy that's available for us. <br />
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Can you imagine the love that was present that day when Jesus took up the cross? Can you imagine the amount of love that was present when a holy and unimaginably valuable and honorable creator and King was beaten by His own creation and humiliated and mocked with such a shameful death? Such royalty should die on a golden bed while watching How I Met Your Mother with the taste of barbeque on his taste buds and sugar from the sweet tea lingering on his lips, not "murdered" by the same method they murder the average criminal. And yet, He did that so that I might bring Him the ultimate glory by being in relationship with Him---<br />
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My friends that is a big deal.<br />
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I'm always deeply moved by a certain line in the song "Here I Am To Worship". It goes like, "I'll never know, how much it costs. To see my sin upon that cross." And I never want to stop trying to know and understand the weight of my sin, the pressure of God's wrath being absorbed in my Savior's body, I'll never know how much it costs. And I'm even in tears right now writing this because I don't think God is wanting me to be content in anything other than Him because of His great love for me. And He wants that in my season of singleness, season of marriage, season as a widower, or whatever. It never changes, He is always, in every season, the ultimate gain, the ultimate source, the ultimate idea, the ultimate lover....but why do we never turn to Him? Instead we'll settle for these false realities of finding temporary satisfaction when Christ is offering me to be completely satisfied in Him. Which sounds a whole lot better than trying to force myself to enjoy being alone when I know I want a family one day. <br />
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So I'll say this, if preaching "being content in your singleness" helps you get through the hour, then I don't want to take that from you. However, I am offering that God is after more than just you being happy in a circumstance. He wants you fully satisfied in Him, not seasonally satisfied in someone else. <br />
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So let me be honest, I'll probably be hating on the next person that posts an engagement picture or a sonogram.. However, what I'm challenging you to consider I'm also challenging myself, and it's, "Am I not connected to the greatest lover of all?" And in my answer being yes, I will redirect my hope from that "some day I'll be married" to the truth that "today I am in love with Jesus" and I have all that I need in the Savior of the world because He owns my heart and has rescued me from an eternal death. And if the true definition of contentment means being fully satisfied and wanting nothing else, I will
always feel that way about the love of my life, Jesus. I desire no other
Savior but the one that died in my place for the glory of God, and I will fight and battle with my own heart to love Him and be content in Him alone---so---keep posting your exciting news you lucky lovers. We young singles will be alright.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-66800614275409920702013-10-25T16:54:00.003-05:002013-10-25T16:54:42.338-05:00What Can Wash Away My Sin? <i>What can wash away my sin? </i><br />
<i>Nothing but the blood of Jesus. </i><br />
<i>What can make me whole again? </i><br />
<i>Nothing but the blood of Jesus.</i><br />
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I love those questions that the writer of the song asks. What can wash away my sin? Not to be confused with this moralistic theology that I can just improve my sin, but what can wash it away. Get rid of it. Destroy it. Conquer it. Yes, concrete words. Imagine this with me. <br />
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There's two criminals in a court room. One of the criminals is facing a sentence of 1 day in county jail. And the other criminal is facing a sentence of life in prison. Small or large crimes, both are being judged today. <br />
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The judge, in a pressed robe and stern face walks into the court room. All rise in honor. The two criminals are both anticipating their verdict. But one is a little more relaxed than the other. I mean, one day in county jail. He can still catch the big game this weekend, no big deal. But the criminal awaiting to know if he will rot in prison for the rest of his life is weeping at the possibilities of being away from his family and friends, and yes, missing the big game as well. <br />
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The judge instructs everyone to sit in their seats. One of the criminals is planning a shopping list in his head to pick up on his way home in two days---the other, asking himself what is there to do for the rest of your life in prison. THE REST OF MY LIFE? I mean, all because of one mistake?? I promise I won't do it again. Just one mistake? Life in prison. The criminal pleaded to himself, or perhaps even to the big man. <br />
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But justice must be served. A law was broken. Whether great or small, laws were broken and justice must be served.<br />
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The judge clears his throat, "In the case of Criminal #1 vs the State, due to outside agreement, Criminal #1 will not have to serve the 1 day in county jail. NOT GUILTY." A few claps rang out from the crowd. I mean, it was just one day. Criminal #1 shrugs, adjusts his plans from two days to today and heads out of the court room. The judge turns to the other criminal. <br />
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"In the case of Criminal #2 vs the State, due to outside agreement, Criminal #2," the judge looks up from the verdict slip. He can see the sweat dripping off of the criminals face. Everyone is sitting on the edges of their seat in anticipation, waiting for the inevitable. But everyone likes to hope for the upset. <br />
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"NOT GUILTY." <br />
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Criminal number 2 hadn't realize he wasn't breathing. His stomach fell to the floor as the words he was not expecting to hear was just uttered by the judge. Everyone in the courtroom was stunned at the verdict--and the fact that the judge was smiling. Criminal #2, completely dumbfounded, looks up to the judge. "May I approach the bench?" <br />
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"You may." The judge complied. Criminal #2 scurried from behind the table and approached the intimidating bench. The grin was still on the judge's face. <br />
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"So um? I know I shouldn't question you or the verdict, I'm probably crazy to. But um, what happened? I was for sure I was being sentenced to life." <br />
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"Do you not accept your verdict?" <br />
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"Oh yes sir. I do. I'm just, curious. You know. Kind of a big deal to just have a life sentence erased like that." <br />
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The judge lightly chuckled. "I know, kinda was huh?" <br />
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"So, what happened?" <br />
<br />
"See this guy next to me?" The judge asked as He pointed to his right hand side. "He has decided to satisfy the wrath of the State by taken on your life sentence." <br />
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"So he's the outside agreement?" <br />
<br />
"Yes He is. He is my son." <br />
<br />
"Your son?"<br />
<br />
"Yes. My son." <br />
<br />
"You let him?" <br />
<br />
"Well yes, it was my pleasure to." <br />
<br />
"Why?" <br />
<br />
"Because of my great love for you." <br />
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Criminal #2 was stunned. He had never heard of such a thing. "Sorry. Still a little confused. So, you're telling me that I'm free to go?"<br />
<br />
"Yes." <br />
<br />
"Like, I'm not on Punk'd?"<br />
<br />
"No." <br />
<br />
"So I'm free to go?" <br />
<br />
"Yes." The judge grinned at his questions. The criminal was still dragging his stomach around as he paced the floor. He could not comprehend such mercy.<br />
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"But what could just wash away my sin?" <br />
<br />
"Nothing but the blood of Jesus. The wages of your sins is death, so yes, you deserve to be sentenced to your life sentence. But my son has decided to die in your place." <br />
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The criminal looked at the man sitting on the judge's right hand side, amazed at the grace being lavished on him by that gentleman. He didn't understand why anyone would do such a thing for him, I mean, he deserved to do some kind of time. Because, if he really thought about it, it was a pretty wicked person. <br />
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"Sir, thank you so much. How can I ever repay you?" <br />
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"That's not necessary." <br />
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"Well I must do something." <br />
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"Just follow me." <br />
<br />
"Follow you where?" <br />
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"We'll deal with that when we get there, just follow me."<br />
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"Well, I may be freed from my sins but that doesn't change what I've done." <br />
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"You're right. But there is no longer any shame for that, it's been taken care of. Now you can feel free to deal with those issues." <br />
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"Okay, I can go work on that." <br />
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"No, WE can work on that. Just follow me." <br />
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The criminal thanked his lawyer and he walked out of the courtroom, completely in awe at the mercy of the judge and His son. <br />
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My friends, this is the Gospel. You get a different response when the person understands his sentencing. We, man's depravity, unable to do anything good. Completely torn down and broken apart and separated from God because of our sin, not the ones we committed when we turned 13, but the ones we inherited at birth and it's the very nature of who were are. So because of that, doomed for death and the wrath of God. BUT Jesus, ----can I preach for a second---BUT JESUS, seeing all that we are. Jesus, knowing fully of our sins, of our short comings, of our future sins, became that outside agreement with God and absorbed the wrath of God and died in our place, to impute his righteousness for our unrighteousness so that we may be seen as holy and blameless before a Holy God and be returned back into relationship with Him. <br />
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What an unbelievable love. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17123580564911005248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-17581893563218702812013-09-20T13:10:00.002-05:002013-09-20T13:10:16.525-05:00Clarity of Muffled CriesI find it unusual that we can forget how being around the lost feels like. We can get huddled up in our believer circles and forget the depths of death surrounding us. We pack into churches and preach sermons about going out and being the hands and feet of Jesus, but for some reason we still sit all day in churches. We continue to do more activities with just believers. We're comfortable with the spiritual Facebook posts, Instagram pictures of skies proclaiming the beauty of God's creation, but we'll softly walk on egg shells around lost people all day and never utter a word.<br />
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I remember I asked myself a question that has changed my ministry approach. I was reading in Mark 2 when Jesus eats with the sinners. And I wasn't just curious as to why Jesus was eating with them. I was curious about why the sinners were okay with Him at the table. They sat there all night and endured the God in the flesh who could judge them and damn them to Hell right? Hmmm...that's not how the story plays out does it? Here's where I'm going. <br />
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Jesus had an awareness around sinners that I think and WISH and PLEAD that all Christians would try to adopt. Let me set it up like this. Imagine this. <br />
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You're trying to watch television. And someone comes up to you and starts talking to you. Now you're trying to watch your favorite TV show so this person talking to you is annoying. They're behavior is not approving to you. And rightfully so, you're trying to watch your favorite TV show. So you're trying to listen to the your show but this person keeps nagging. Nothing they have to say matters because the best part of the show is about to happen!! They finally catch the bad guy or they bust the cheater or the Bachelor cuts somebody you wasn't expecting or one of the housewives find out the other one is talking about her behind her back, whatever you're into----but this person is still trying to talk to you! So you press the pause button on your very American DVR, and you turn to the person. "Gah! Do you not know how to act!? Geez? I'm watching my TV show. What do you want?" <br />
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"I just wanted to tell you that I'm dying." <br />
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You feel the shift? Did you feel the adjustment that happened in your heart? The minute you heard that person's cry, your concern shifted. It was no longer about their unacceptable behavior, but more about what was happening to that person internally.<br />
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That was an extreme example, but keep flowing with me. So why did that happen? Because all it takes is listening. The more I listen to the lost the more I hear their bluff. They talk a big game about their lives but the more I listen to them and watch them act I see it's a cry from their very grave screaming, "I want rescuing! I need rescuing! Help! Help!" <br />
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But the church is too busy condemning. Calling people to a standard of Jesus without.....well...... first getting them to Jesus. <br />
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I think about how Jesus walked the Earth and how His bride is choosing to walk. I imagine us walking hand in hand with Jesus and we're pointing out, "Hey, look at them Jesus. They're sinning. They're gay. We should call that out. We should protest. Jesus, look at them. They're very vulgar when they speak. Jesus look at them, they don't know how to act. Do they know you're in their presence?" And Jesus is whispering to us, "Go meet them. Go eat with them. I'm here for them...and you should be to."<br />
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Clarity of the muffled cries happens when we listen and realize that their external is a cry for their internal redemption. We need to stop thinking that people should be like Jesus without knowing Jesus. Christianity is not a type of living, but a transformative process that happens when someone begins to seek to know the love of a living and holy king. GET PEOPLE TO JESUS FIRST.<br />
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Hear the muffled cries? They're cries for help. People act like the God they know or don't know. They need to know the Savior you profess to know. Go eat with them....Jesus came for them. You go for them too. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-38029632642948531632013-09-16T23:26:00.002-05:002013-09-16T23:26:26.735-05:00Act Your Race, Not Your Shoe SizeSo that you're not holding your breath the entire time, this blog is about a Christian worldview VS (insert your race) worldview. Take a deep breath, let's work. <br />
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Since I've been home, I have been called "white boy" about three times. Now, I know these are jokes, so they say. But are they really? Are they really jokes? Or perhaps could you be expressing your worldview? <br />
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The racist comments coming from the Miss America pageant towards the winner has stirred up a reason for the blog. Now, even though my following is not the entire nation of the United States, I am for certain my thoughts will not make a massive impact at all. But perhaps it will encourage my lovely and daring readers to think before they make a "joke" again. <br />
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Again I repeat, this is a blog about Christian worldview VS (insert your race) worldview. For as long as I could remember, I have always been after consistency. I remember the first time I wrestled with the idea of "is true manhood being a tough guy that can beat up people, watch football, hunt, and shoot guns?" Many men in our culture would say absolutely. But what about the men that don't like that stuff? Are they not men? If not? Then what are they? <br />
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I remember being called "white" in high school. It never bothered me then but now I can hear what they were saying. Because the white guys that listened to rap music and were dumb in class was called "black". And it's happened time and time again since high school. I've had a girl tell me that I didn't talk black because I talked proper. I've been called white because of how I dress. And what's interesting about all of this.....there is no consistency. For one reason, when I look in the mirror I see brown skin. When I look at my mother I see a black woman, and when I look at my dad he is black as well. So what are they talking about when they say I'm white? And to prove my point even further, some of you reading that list probably nodded in agreement, while some people didn't agree.<br />
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So as fleeting and inconstent as (insert your race) worldview can be, why bother with it? Now please hear me. I'm not saying I'm ashamed of being black at all. I love who I am, I love what I represent. I love where I've come from. I love reading about the civil rights movement. I love all that wonderful and glorious stuff that has paved the way for me. But this is what I want you to consider...........<br />
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When we die...what happens? Does a black person's soul go to a different heaven or hell than a white persons? To avoid being morbid, I'll stop there. But my point is that when it comes to considering worldviews, I'm choosing the Jesus worldview. Why? Because my Savior did not care about people groups. He died for Jew and Gentiles. And the fact that I have white brothers and sisters in Christ and Asian brothers and sisters in Christ and the list goes on, it's so beautiful to me. A Jesus worldview is realizing that He has the final say in everything and we should conform to Him. So if He loved the white brother, then so should I. If He loved the girl from the Indian descent, then so should I. The same grace we gobble up in troughs we choke out from people. The same grace God has given you to even take the breath you just took, you have the nerve to be make anything about you? Do we not know the price Jesus has paid for our sins? Do we not know the offense we have made against a holy God and He showed mercy on us? And you? You have the nerve to judge a person by their skin color when God knew your skin color AND your heart and He still loved you and became man Himself and bore our sins and satisfied His own wrath? <br />
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That's the worldview I'm choosing to allow to dictate my life. I honestly wish I could be in this black pride, fist in air, down with the brothers, black cultured, rap lyric spitting, cool talking, swag walking black man that everyone expects for me to be, but here's what I've noticed...being black didn't do anything for me eternally. But Jesus did. He assured me of salvation. He assured me that I could be in relationship with the wonderful and magnificent God of the universe, dwell in the heavenly places and sip upon the glorious riches of His love and mercy. Again, don't mishear me now. I'm proud to be black, but I'm more proud that God calls me His own. That'll get me much further---eternal bliss with the King. That worldview is all I need. <br />
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And you'll never hear me say, "I don't see color." That's not the way to fix racism. We shouldn't have to diminish colors to appreciate the person. Get over yourself and your race. Every color is beautiful and every culture is wonderful. Just because it's not yours does not mean it's wrong. I've never told this to my white friends, but they try to bring me into their culture all the time---but they never respond when I try to bring them into mine. They force me to listen to country music and rock music in their cars. But when they're in my car and I try to get them to listen to rap and R&B music, they ignore it. Get over yourself and your race. There's something way bigger than all of us---and He created all of us. And He created all the many different species of animals and insects and plants and the list goes on. Get over yourself. Boast in the only thing worth boasting in-----and that's Jesus. And I'm thankful that the Gospel evens the playing field. ALL are guilty before God. (Romans 3) Not just the thugs, gang bangers, but also the Ponzi scheming and rednecks, whatever stereotype you want to include that you despise the most. You're just as guilty as them before God----which is why He gets the final say. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-58644484892426568202013-09-16T15:57:00.003-05:002013-09-16T15:57:42.951-05:00The Away TeamTrue signs of mature athletes is there ability to play well while they are away from their home turf. Especially when they are going into "hostile" environments, such as LSU's Tiger Stadium or the Oakland Raiders' stadium or Duke's student section in college basketball. And if you missed the sports reference, you'll understand it by the end---I promise. <br />
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And it's always beautiful to watch those mature athletes like Cam Newton who makes a big play that quiets the entire stadium, and they taunt with a hand over their mouth or a finger to their lips to rub it in. Too bad I haven't been that guy. <br />
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Coaches dream of their teams reaching a maturity where they can win road games. It's a known fact that a team has to be good on the road to win championships. But what area are they expected to be maturing in? It's actually quite simple, "Still playing well even when facing adversity." <br />
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Let me explain why playing at home is so easy. Everyone in the stadium believes in you. If they didn't they wouldn't even be there. When you're at home, the fan base is for you. They're on your side. Their presence alone is encouraging. And especially when they start to cheer for you when you take the field, that's encouraging. Momentum is easier to manage because you have so many people excited when you do even the smallest thing well. You get a first down, people scream. You make a decent play, people cheer. You score a touchdown, the entire crowd erupts and there's a celebration. It's easy to keep your emotions on a high level when playing at home when you have all this excitement and encouragement backing you up and pushing you forward. <br />
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But when the team becomes the Away Team. When they go into the hostile environments, the expectations alone are beginning to weigh on the players. The anticipation before the game is intense, but the butterflies doesn't get stirred up until you leave home heading to the opposing city. It doesn't feel much different until you're doing the same thing you've done in your home stadium, but this time there's boos....or even silence. You run out on the field, normally cheers from the crowd when they see the team you're representing stitched on your jersey. But now, sneers and bad blood is present for that same stitching. The same play you ran that got great yardage on your home field, gets you boos this game. And when you score, no one cheers. Rather, you hear a deflation of everyone around you, disappointed in you for doing something you thought you did well. And when there's no momentum, how do you recover from the adversity? How do you continue to play well even when everything is working against you? The opposing team, the fans, all are out to be sure you do not succeed in what you've come to do. The coach calls a time out because he sees your body language. He can tell his team is getting worn out by the hostile environment. Nothing is going their way. And its frustrating when people are nagging it on. The team huddles around the coach, tirelessly hoping that he has something uplifting to say. The coach looks at his team and he says one sentence. <br />
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"Play your game." <br />
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In that one sentence, your heartbeat starts to thump again. In that one sentence, air is breathed back into your lungs. In that one sentence, you run back out onto that field or court and you focus on that one thing, "playing your game." But what does it mean to play your game? <br />
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Paul in the New Testament was remarkable at playing his game. When Paul arrived in Jerusalem, he was met with some hostile opponents who eventually had him arrested and thrown in jail. Paul was passionate about sharing the Good News of Jesus and establishing churches, so of course being arrested could be considered a wrinkle in his plans. But as we can see in our New Testament being mostly written by Paul, Paul didn't let that stop him. He played his game. He continue to share the Good News with the prisoners and the guards and he wrote letters to churches that we're reading today. Paul was a mature "athlete" of the Gospel because he continued to play well even when facing adversity. He was so confident in who God made him and what He had called him to that nothing could slow him down. Not fourth and long. Not down by 15 with 5 minutes left to go in the half. Not an injured star player. Paul continued to play well---he continued to play his game. <br />
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Now, I'm not saying Oxford is similar to prison. Lol. It's seriously not that bad at all. However, it was not in my plans to be here this long. Just as Paul didn't plan to be sitting in a jail, I didn't plan on sitting in my old room looking for jobs. But for some reason God moved in His sovereignty to get us to consider His plan (imagine that). And since I've been back in Oxford I've had my share of difficulties, but have been internal. If you're a reader of my blog, you've heard of them. But there's this deep cry within my soul that is begging for more. There's a God breathed vision and gift that is itching to be released, talent beyond what I can see. Movements beyond my control. It was easy to tap into those things when I was the Home Team. Hundreds of people encouraging you. Hundreds of people believing in you. Hundreds of people responding to every good play you make and now.....I'm the Away Team. The locker room is unfamiliar and the fan base is different and rooting for a different team. All I have is the coach yelling from the sidelines, "Claude, play your game!" <br />
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So as we break from this huddle, remember one thing. It does not matter where you are. Be confident in who you are. And play your game. <br />
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Ready. BREAK!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-42485793203880459312013-08-27T00:43:00.000-05:002013-08-27T00:43:40.416-05:00Misunderstood PropheciesAllow me to be vulnerable----which means this could get really ugly. <br />
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When I walked across the stage receiving my bachelors degree from Auburn University and packed up all my stuff and moved away from Auburn, I was picturing the movies. You know the movies. The one where the young man is all packed away to go to college, but he gets this mysterious note to take his box of toys down the street to a little girl who is as cute as any puppy you'll ever see, and he introduces each of his favorite toys to her, but then she finds his cowboy doll that he wanted to take to college with him, and he hesitates, dramatic pause and quivering of the lips from both characters, but then he gives in to the darling little girl and they play together and after a few minutes he gets into his car and he drives away down the long street with the toys watching him drive off. <br />
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For some reason, we expect this. <br />
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If you missed that, that scene was from Toy Story 3. But we expect this dramatic scene as we are transitioning into new seasons of our lives. We picture the glamorous movie scene where we are driving off to face new adventures, new voyages, new beginnings, with trumpets playing and slow classic tunes are creating this emotionally driven moment where you just know something great is about to happen. But then, the credits start and the movie scene deflates and you see the real thing. <br />
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Nothing. <br />
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Hey, I won't be a negative Nancy. Maybe for other people this actually happens, but see, that's been my problem. The other people. And I've had to force myself to stay off of social media sites because Satan is using it as a playground to throw doubt in my face. <br />
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"Look at all the people that everything they want is happening for them. And look, another Save The Date invitation. Oh look, you just got back from a wedding and here's three more this year that you're going to. They look so happy don't they? Oh Claude. Where are those great things everyone has told you that you are going to do for God?" <br />
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That last one stings. It stings hard my friends. I've had SOO many people tell me that I'm going to do these great things for God. And my idea of GREAT THINGS FOR GOD did not look like this. I pictured me going to this great NEW city and joining a new church and getting plugged into some revival somewhere and letting fire fly out of my mouth as I proclaim the Gospel. I was so ready for a new season. The chapter of my life entitled Auburn was closed and I was headed towards a new season. But my NEW season was not supposed to be an old return. It was not supposed to include my old bedroom, which has been updated with nicer furniture and a nicer smell. Did I not steal away in the night from Auburn only to return to this mediocre existence? <br />
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This is where my 6.14 ounces of faith kick in. I can't help but think about Abraham when God first tells him the promises of making him a great nation through a son. And Abraham laughs and says he and his wife is old and God reassures him that it can be done because He's God. But can you imagine the next day? Waking up, making breakfast, expecting something cool to happen all day. You put on some Marvin Gaye or Trey Songz and you have sex with your lovely wife------but she doesn't end up pregnant. <br />
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God? What the heck? Didn't you say I would have a son? <br />
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But they shake it off and go try again. And...still...no pregnant wife. Can you imagine the gut feeling? God? Um? What's up? <br />
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So that's where I am. Before all the prophecies coming from other people of the great things God was going to do in me and through me, God had whispered some dreams deep into my heart as he did Abraham and today I am nowhere near achieving them! <br />
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Or yet? Am I? <br />
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What is "great things for God"? Is everything done for the glory of a great God not considered to be of great worth? Is my Father's will not great? Because I feel that my church has conditioned me to think that "great things for God" looks like big ministries and big movements and big gatherings and big salvations. But what are great things? I'll say great things are things that my Father wills to be done through me. That's it. And here I am, sitting on my butt complaining about what God isn't doing for ME and I'm hearing story after story of my hurting family and I have yet to go visit them to share the love of Jesus. Want to know why great things are not happening in your life? Because you're misunderstanding the prophecy. No one ever got to the great you're imagining over night. They started with the one. My pastor, Chris Hodges, did not reach 9 campuses as soon as he received the call from God to do full-time ministry. It started with the voice, with a relationship, with a God who intimately speaks and shepherds and loves His sons that He breathes these big dreams into their hearts and positions them to have to depend on Him fully with no room for doubt. Son, do you not TRUST ME?! Abraham, I'm going to tell you about this son and it'll be years before you see it happen, but I want you to trust me, and I'll make you great. And people, he was made great. Why? Not because of what he did, but because what his father willed for his life. Abraham was just a man who had a son, but God willed for this man to have a son who would father nations--therefore he was made great. <br />
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So here I am...with just a faith in a God in a place I really don't want to be. But my Father has willed it, therefore it is a part of a great work He is doing. Great things does not always look like churches being filled, but instead a God who is willing for things to happen. The ultimate gain is Jesus. And at the end of the day, I could end up being stuck in Oxford for the rest of my life (GOD FORBID!) but joy will rise from deep within the Holy Spirit within me and breathe new life and give me new desires because I have all that I need in Jesus. I have all that I need in my Savior. I can be stuck in a mud pit being forced to watch Miley Cyrus twerk videos with no way out, (couldn't help that), as long as I have my Jesus I am really alright. <br />
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Don't misunderstand your prophecies. Don't misunderstand what God is trying to do in your life. The ultimate gain is Him. And He will not stop until His glory is made known...and that's from my life and yours. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-31548525831139694662013-08-19T11:02:00.000-05:002013-08-19T11:02:11.056-05:00Mirror PreachingOh dear God, who would have thought that you actually had to practice what you preach? <br />
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Hello reader. Thank you for reading today. As some of you may know, I have graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Environmental Design, which is one of those majors invented for future jobs. "Future jobs?" You ask. Yes, the kind of jobs that Auburn has said, "This is going to be a real "thing" one day," and they have chosen to create a major that can support it when it comes. Which means what? Are there any present jobs? Oh, that is why I'm writing the blog. <br />
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My ideal post graduation time looked differently in my head. I was not sitting in my old home in Oxford Alabama, sleeping in my old room and driving up in my old driveway. Instead, I was seeing me transitioning to some big boy job in some big boy city and tackling some big boy transition problems. NOT the "you're back at home" transition problems. Those are lame. No one likes those. That's not the American Dream kind of path you're supposed to take after graduation. <br />
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Says who? <br />
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I don't know, those people that have us under their thumbs. You know the people, the ones who make you feel like you should be married by...well now, and the ones who says you should be making more money, or you should be thinner or taller or---yes, those people. Sometimes those people have faces, sometimes those people are just expectations created by movies and TV shows and relatives that you don't even think about unless they post something on Facebook. And I have found myself mirror preaching. I'll explain. <br />
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Mirror preaching is pulling out all the counseling and encouraging and sermons I've done in the past in my tenure in Auburn and serving in my church and sharing the content with yourself. And there was a lot of content. From talking to college friends to high schoolers to middle schoolers and even to some adults, I've done my share of me being the mouthpiece for some simple biblical trues for God's mighty work to be done and in hopes of pointing people to Him in their trials. Well...now it's my turn. And since I've done so much counseling and encouragement and sermons, maybe I'm decent at it so I go to the mirror and ask myself what the heck are we supposed to do. And this guy in the mirror, he doesn't look like me. He seems confident and assure of himself. Confident in his faith and confident in the God that made him. And he's a good listener. He listened to me vent about my doubt but exhibit some level of faith in the doubt. He had this gentle smile where I felt comfortable telling him anything. And he had this reassuring look that I would seriously be okay. But it was when he opened his mouth was when I really felt like man, this guy must know something. <br />
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"Jesus". He says. <br />
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"Excuse? That's it? I need something more practical than that Mr. Guy In The Mirror." I asked. <br />
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"No you don't. You just need Jesus. And you have Him. So you have everything you need." <br />
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"Well I know that, but.." <br />
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"Dude, there is no but. You remember all those times you pointed people to Jesus. Well now it's your turn. You turn your head and go to Jesus." <br />
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"That's it?" <br />
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"Yep. That's it. And of course, there's practical things for you to get done today, but first, go to Jesus." <br />
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And immediately, this flood of words and moments enter into my mind like a picture slide show, all the times I looked people in the eyes or crowds in the eyes and said your hope is Jesus. Your only hope is Jesus. Your circumstances does not define you, if you have Jesus, you are alright. We're alright. He will take care of us. And even if He doesn't according to OUR will and interpretation of what He should do for us, I AM WITH HIM SO IT IS ALL ALL ALL GOOD, IT IS ALL RIGHT. <br />
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And I stare at the guy in the mirror and now he looks just like me. He doesn't look like some Mr. Know-It-All with his wisdom and calmness and superior faith. That guy is me. And I'm staring opposition in the face like "Yo, my God is so much bigger than you." I'm staring my insecurity in the face like, "Yo, my God is so much cooler than you." I'm staring "them people" in the face like, "Yo, my God's plan for me is so much bigger than your expectations for me". So I may look like a failure or a whatever, but my God has the last say. He always has the last say. <br />
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Don't miss that. My God has the last say. <br />
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And thank goodness for that huh? You remember Satan when he tempts you into sin and you fall short and you're just a terrible person? Remember that? Well don't you worry. God has the last say. He does. And He said He loves you and He paid the price for that sin that is tempting you. Satan doesn't have the last say. God does. God does. Every time. That's why He is the ultimate gain. He is the last. You get Him, you get eternal victory, because He always has the last say. Thank you Jesus for the peace that surpasses all understanding. I should be freaking out, but I'm not. Why? Because my God has the last say. <br />
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Good job mirror preacher. You have blessed me today. I'll put a little bit more in the offering plate. ; ) See you next Sunday. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-52261310090607594262013-08-07T00:45:00.001-05:002013-08-07T07:14:48.285-05:00Jesus, Do You Not Care?<i><span class="text Mark-4-35">On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, <span class="woj">“Let us go across to the other side.”</span></span> <span class="text Mark-4-36" id="en-ESV-24356">And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him.</span><sup> </sup><span class="text Mark-4-37" id="en-ESV-24357">And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.</span> </i><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"><i>But
he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said
to him, “<b>Teacher, do you not care</b> that we are perishing?” Mark 4:35-38</i></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">I really enjoy this Bible story. First of all, for some reason picturing Jesus asleep is a little funny. God Himself, actually becoming man and is fully man so much that He take naps. And you think God is not for your joy...Jesus napped. Come on. That's great. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Anyways, I wanted to point at some things in this story. But let me set it up in modern day terms because I think we do this a lot. The "they" in these verses are the disciples Jesus were traveling with. They are observing the windstorm and the waves crushing their boat. Symbol? When storms come into our lives. When life hands us lemons. When life punches us in the gut. When bad things happen to good people. When the good die young. When troubles arise. When something doesn't go our way. I've heard time and time again from avid atheists or agnostics or unbelievers that they have a hard time imagining a "good" God with so much evil in the world. </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"> </span><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"> </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Great concerns. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">If anything, I give atheists and agnostics credit for being extremely and painfully honest about their concerns about God. A lot of Christians are afraid to bring their frustrations to Jesus just as the disciples did in this story. But let's go there and look at what is being said and who its being said to. Because I think stories like this point to the depths of human pain and our awareness of our condition. God, why does bad things happen? Why have you forsaken us? Why are you allowing so much evil? How can you just sit there and let it happen? Why did you let me get raped? Why did you let me get abused? Why did you allow sex trafficking to plague women across the world? Why are people homeless? Why are people starving to death? Why are we hurting? Why are we sad? Why are we broken? God, can we have answers!? </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Jesus!?? Do you not care that we are perishing!!!??? I mean look at us!? </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Let's finish the story. </span><br />
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<i><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"><span class="text Mark-4-39" id="en-ESV-24359">"And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, <span class="woj">“Peace! Be still!”</span> And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.</span>" Mark 4:39 </span></i><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Can you imagine that? Put yourself in the boat. Put yourself in your situation, staring at something so frightful, so pressing with fear and anxiety nearly consuming you, and Jesus wakes up and says to the storm, "STOP IT!" And it does..........</span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">What is this saying? </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Well it's saying a lot of things. First, I can picture Jesus after calming the storm answering their question."You ask me if I care? Am I not here with you?" </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">My friends. Hear that. Is Jesus not here with you? </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Why was He even in the boat? Why was He even on the Earth? I'll give you the answer. To proclaim the truth of God and to redeem man from sin and death. So....OF COURSE HE CARES! IT'S THE WHOLE REASON HE WAS EVEN IN THE BOAT! </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">All your questions about the evil you see in the world is the whole point of the Gospel. We're the ones putting all this credit in man, even when we see how evil man is continuing to become. And Jesus sees us as wicked sinners BUT STILL chose to love us and claim us as His own and reconcile us back to God. And in all of that we get life and life more abundantly. We get a hope....the hope of eternity with Him. The evil you see points to the cross and Jesus taking the sins of the world and absorbing the wrath of God. The evil you see is why God's wrath had to be satisfied with the death of Jesus. Your awareness of the storm should point to this-----> THANK YOU JESUS FOR COMING TO REDEEM MAN FROM THIS WICKED WORLD. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">And yet...we do what the disciples did. We see the storms and we fear for our lives and we freak out and run to Jesus and scoff and form other religions and stop going to church and hate Christians, "Jesus, you don't care if we die at the hands of this storm.... you lousy savior" and Jesus wakes up and speaks to the storms and it stops immediately. </span><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">Let's finish the story. </span><br />
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<i><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"><span class="text Mark-4-40" id="en-ESV-24360">He said to them, <span class="woj">“Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”</span></span><sup> </sup></span></i><br />
<i><span class="text Mark-4-38"><span class="text Mark-4-41"><br /></span></span></i>
<span class="text Mark-4-38"><span class="text Mark-4-41" id="en-ESV-24361">We gotta stop there. Your awareness of your storm is great, but your current fear may be because you have no faith in Jesus? So a lot you atheists and agnostics, it's hard to see God move without having faith in Him. He doesn't work like that. And maybe you've been around some faithless Christians posing as having "the faith" but you haven't been able to experience their faith. Let's keep reading. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-4-38"><span class="text Mark-4-41"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span class="text Mark-4-38"><span class="text Mark-4-41"><i>And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?” Mark 4:40-41</i></span><i> </i></span><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"> </span><i><span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358"> </span></i><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">You see how the fear shifted? Remember that bully in high school? And you're afraid of the bully, but then another bully comes along and beats that bully up. So now you're more afraid of the bully that beat up the bully? That's what just happened. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">The disciples feared the more powerful presence---and it wasn't the storm----it was Jesus. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">And friends. Your storms are not the most powerful presence. The present evil is not the most powerful presence. Jesus is. And He is a loving Savior, compassionate and gentle. Have fun trying to wrap your mind around something being for your joy but has completely and fully conquered evil. So you shouldn't be afraid of the mysteries of the Illuminati and the Bermuda Triangle...or UFO's or underwater dragon sharks...(or that's probably just me) Jesus speaks to those things and they listen.<i> </i>So lose the faith in your storms ability to kill you, and place the faith in Jesus who is able to make those storms obey His command. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-4-38" id="en-ESV-24358">And of course He cares. He came and died didn't He? The cross is the proof that He cares.<i> </i>He never promised a better today, He's promising a better eternity. You don't have to die...you can live forever in Him. </span> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-2196310929604579042013-07-19T08:38:00.000-05:002013-07-19T08:38:08.415-05:00A Better You or Jesus?Which do you want more? A Better You or Jesus?<br />
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Well, Claude, why can't I have both?<br />
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Interesting question I'm proposing for you to consider. And I'm going to try to be very graceful when it comes to tackling this topic, because this is simply a blog about perspective. I think deep within us we all wish we were "better". I think a lot of things we pursue and desire is rooted in what we believe will make us better people. If I gain this happiness, then I'll be a happier person and a nicer person.<br />
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But the reason why I gave just these two options is because of verses like this.<br />
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<span class="text Luke-14-25">Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them,</span> <span class="text Luke-14-26" id="en-ESV-25571"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum">26 </sup>“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.</span></span> <span class="text Luke-14-27" id="en-ESV-25572"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum">27 </sup>Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple."</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Luke-14-27" id="en-ESV-25572"><span class="woj"></span></span><span class="text Luke-14-27" id="en-ESV-25572"><span class="woj">And even this one...</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Luke-14-27" id="en-ESV-25572"><span class="woj"><span class="text Luke-9-23">And he said to all, <span class="woj">“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.</span></span> <span class="text Luke-9-24" id="en-ESV-25317"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum">24 </sup>For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."</span></span> Luke 9:23-24</span></span><br />
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Let's nail our attention to Luke 9:23-24 and pay attention to the language Jesus is using. Because again, this is us focusing on a perspective shift. The first part of that verse, "<i>for whoever would save his life will lose it,"</i> What is Jesus setting up for us? Whoever would try to save his own life will lose it. The definiton of save is: to keep safe and sound, to rescue from danger or destruction one from injury or peril; to save one from disease, to make well, heal, restore to health. So in context, that would mean I want to keep safe and sound my desires, my passions, my dreams, my pursuits, my loves, my hates, my understanding of my life. I think of saving money, what we are doing is storing up protection. I want to protect the life I have. I know what makes me happy Jesus. And it would mean that I think that I know what's best for my life, I know what's best to rescue me out of what I'm dealing with. Because again, I feel like we ALL essentially want to be better people...and you're saying I know how to make myself happier. I'm broke and bitter, I just need more money and I'll be happy. I'm insecure, I just need attention and I'll be better. <br />
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Did you notice a trend in that list? The idea of saving my own life puts a lot of power in my own hands.... it puts the focus on, ME. My wants, my desires, my dreams---all the focus is on me. Jesus I know what I need. I know what satisifies, I know Jesus. I know. And Jesus is telling us that we can't come to Him with our own agenda, He doesn't respond well with someone approaching Him, the Lord, demanding duel Lordship. Because you... sir.....and ma'm.... Jesus understands who you really are. Because here's what I dare you to think about, a better you is still a screw up. <br />
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Slow down. Can't miss that. Again. <br />
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A better you is still an awful mess.<br />
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But don't let that discourage you. Friends, that's a good thing. Because something has already been done about that. The cross! The cross is an exclamation of this fact. Even on your best day you still fall short. Even when you have been loving people, serving the community, buying free apple pies and jelly biscuits for the homeless, your deeds are still as filthy rags to God. So Jesus is saying you who think you can actually do some good, you really can't. You're incapable. You're just incapable of understanding everything He does. Your wants and desires are probably not even good for you. Jesus can see that, but you can't. But we'll hold on tight to those things and plead for Jesus to let us have it! The kid running with scissors is angry because his loving dad is trying to save his life but all the kid is wanting to do is play with the cool scissors. <br />
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But again, don't let that discourage you....because Jesus isn't done with the verse. How does He finish it? "<i>BUT, whoever loses his life for my sake will save it</i>." I love that ending. There's the good news. So, this is what Jesus is offering you.<br />
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You have a lot of stuff that you've built your identity around. You have your own idea of what's best for you. You have your own idea of what protects you, what warms and comforts your soul. You have a framework of that. But hear this in what Jesus is saying....if you drop all of that, if you lose that, all that, ALL of that for my sake, your life will be saved. <br />
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What is Jesus pointing to!? <br />
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HIMSELF! He says, "For my own sake." Hey, children. I may know something you don't! I may actually be the one true Savior. I may actually be the all-knowing God who knows you better than you know yourself. I may actually BE for your joy! I may love you endlessly and unconditionally and will never forsake you! I may actually be a better Lord than you are! <br />
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So again I ask, which do you want more? A better you or Jesus? If you're chosing the first one, a better you is still YOU. The same silly person you are today will be the same person you are when you become better. So read the books and try to fix the external things those authors point to in 5 easy steps. But hear me right now...sometimes.....the only practical advice you need is Jesus. Sometimes...you just need 1 point..... Jesus. Some of you may ask. "Well Claude, how do I practically pursue Jesus?" <br />
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You don't have to ask that. If you just asked that I'm praying for you. You need advice on pursuing the Jesus that saved you? My advice wasn't there when He saved you, and sometimes you don't need advice on how to go after Him. Just go after Him. Die to yourself, lose yourself, and let Him be Lord. He's a better Lord than you are. I can guarantee it. <br />
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You want it that way. Trust me. He's much better at it. So give up trying to pursue a better you, and pursue Jesus. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-1815325187514716862013-06-11T11:36:00.001-05:002013-06-11T11:37:20.583-05:00An Artist's ShacklesI remember hearing the story of Gillian Lynne, a famous British ballerina. Before she was who she became, she struggled with finding her identity. Lynne's gift for dancing was discovered by a doctor. Lynne had been
underperforming at school, so her mother took her to the doctor and
explained about her fidgeting and lack of focus. After hearing
everything her mother said, the doctor told Lynne that he needed to talk
to her mother privately for a moment. He turned on the radio and walked
out. He then encouraged her mother to look at Lynne, who was dancing to
the radio. The doctor noted that she was a dancer, and encouraged
Lynne's mother to take her to dance school. The rest of the story is history, remember I said "famous" British ballerina. <br />
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Now I'm really not trying to make something small into a bigger thing, however, I do believe in the uniqueness of each and every one of us. I do believe that this story could have gone two different ways. Number 1, Gillian's mom could have screamed at her for her poor grades and lack of focus, the doctor could have given her medication to help her focus, and she could have disciplined herself to be a better student. Or, the way it happened. The doctor believing in a person's ability outside of institutional learning and the mother allowing it to be an option for her daughter. Here's the point of why I'm writing this, and I'm being extremely transparent. <br />
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I've been restless here lately. Not just today, but for a few months now, honestly for almost a year now. And I've responded the first way the mother could have responded to young Gillian, Hey, Claude, man up and get it together. You know how you should act. Act like that. You're supposed to be do this. You're supposed to submit here, you're supposed to do things this way. Your mother expects this of you. Your pastors expect this of you. Your friends expect this from you. Get it together.<br />
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And I've obeyed.<br />
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But now, why have I not found any release. Why do I feel more alive when I'm able to visioneer and design? Why do I cheer for music artists who love the craft?<br />
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Today, I'm allowing myself to respond like the doctor did to young Gillian. I don't think I'm anti-institution, but I am anti-normality. Anything that gets too normal freaks me out. Traditions bug me a little bit, I won't lie. Anything a person can say this phrase, "We've always done it this way", causes my skin to cringe. I've noticed that I do not enjoy being in the "it" crowd. I do not enjoy being around people that seem to enjoy being just like each other. And it's like I'm surrounded by clay, but instead of allowing God to mold them they become more comfortable with the cookie cutter mass production of clay pots.<br />
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When I was in Seattle this past week, I quickly noticed something. There was a very keen culture of acceptance of different, a culture acceptable of a person's expressing themselves how they see fit. Now, I know there's a line that probably shouldn't be cross, but honestly I respect that person more than I do the conforming person. I had the pleasure of meeting this girl that worked in Downtown Seattle. She had a pin up hairstyle, wearing a vintage dress probably from the 1950's, and a sleeve of tattoes down her right arm. She was having a career crisis, meaning she couldn't figure out which direction she wanted to go in. She either wanted to be a pastry chef or a car mechanic. Lol.<br />
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I loved this girl, with her bizarre skill set. <br />
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Now please hear me, I'm not necessarily attracted to those things, and I'm not suggesting people doing crazy things in hopes of being "not normal", I'm more referring to the natural desire to express. I'm noticing in myself that I get this pinned up anxious and eagerness when I'm unable to be myself. I get anxious when I can't lead how I want to lead, love how I want to love, be passionate about what I want to be passionate about, and I wrestle and wrestle and it doesn't budge. Which I think is why I'm restless. <br />
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I called this blog "An Artist's Shackles", because a person's ability to express himself is directly linked to his or her identity. And when they are unable to, they become a prisoner within themselves. Like a person born to play music and he's forced to not play for a year. Like Gillian, she was unable to dance which was a natural talent, and she couldn't focus on what she was forced to do. Had no interested in what she was being forced to do. And that's where I am. I have no interest in what I'm doing right now. I'm unable to express myself. I'm not being challenged. It's too easy to be a Christian in Alabama. It's too easy to be a leader in my church. I really don't know what I'm even looking for or asking for, I just know that I have no fulfillment right now. I feel hindered, held back. Someone has taken my paintbrush from me and handed me this gray suit to put on. And I'm desperately looking for some pink or blue puddle to jump in, ruining the conformity I'm forced to consider. <br />
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I remember talking to some Koreans at work. And we were laughing about something, and I asked to look at one of their hands. And what was revealed to me was astounding. The prints of their hands looked just like man. Look at your hand right now, it has that capital A and lower case L shape right. And she had five fingers.<br />
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Seriously, I'm not trying to make small things into bigger things, but please at least try to take me seriously here. She was just like me, but completely different. Her face was no where close to mine. She spoke Korean. She was kind of pale, but her hands looked just like mine. Cool huh? <br />
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Lol. Here's my heart friends. Thanks for plunging into this chaos. I really don't even know what's going on in my heart, I'm still trying to figure it out. That's why I'm writing it, hoping something connect or makes sense. But here's my heart. This is what I want for you. I want you to feel comfortable being yourself. I think we are too messed up to be pretending on any level. I think the severity of our condition is too far gone and too far beyond understanding, And when I'm surrounded by a culture that would rather smile and say I'm fine to everyone, it bugs me. Not that I want you expressing your hurts to every stranger, but I hope you're getting it out to somebody. But if you're surrounded by a bunch of posers then we will all be posers. I just want people to be better. And you cannot get better without facing and acknowledging how completely crazy and dysfunctional you are. Or maybe I'm the only one that's completely out of his mind and battling sin and insecurities and direction.<br />
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Hmm...I'll stop. Because again, I have no idea what I'm really trying to say. I thought I had a better grip on it but I'm seeing I really don't as I wrote this. Oh well. Thanks for reading. Lol. Maybe you can make sense of it. Maybe I should go see that doctor. Haha. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-860088758042705712013-05-24T12:29:00.000-05:002013-05-24T12:29:07.294-05:00Immodest CultureLol. I have gotten exhausted with this subject. I've looked women in the face and had conversations about modest dress and they laugh at me. Almost like a "Dude, are you crazy?" And even though the Bible offers scripture speaking directly to the way women should dress, still, no submission. But ladies breathe, this is not what I'm talking about today. I am, however, addressing why maybe you fear it. Or why you have not considered it. Let's work. <br />
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I think we live in an immodest culture. Before we begin, we must define what the word "immodest" means. It means: <i>Not <b>modest</b> in conduct, utterance, indecent, shameless. Not <b>modest</b> in assertion or pretension; forward; impudent. </i><br />
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So you can get a clearer understanding, the word modest means: <i> Having or showing a moderate estimation of one's own talents, abilities, and value. <b>willing to call attention to oneself</b>; Observing conventional proprieties in <b>speech, behavior, or dress</b>. <b>Free from showiness or boastfulness or </b></i><i><b>attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.</b> </i><br />
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So immodest is that our culture is NOT the things above. Crazy huh? And how much of what we do everyday is subconsciously to glorify ourselves? I said subconsciously, which means we do it without even thinking about it. There's a lot of things that points to this being true. I won't call you out, I'll just be brutally honest about myself. Ready?<br />
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Deep within my heart, what's the purpose of this blog? Yes, I enjoy sharing my heart with you all and hoping to encourage you, but what if a little bit of me has my ego struck when you're reading it? I feel good when 70+ people are reading what I have to say. And how many of my "encouraging" Tweets is for self glory? "Yeah, look at me. I got this Jesus thing down don't I?" How many times do I dress nice to go anywhere to impress? Maybe I like to hear people say, "You look nice today Claude." How often are the things I say only to promote myself? How often do I name drop so people will know who I hang with? "Yeah, I'm in that club and that level at the church. You're not." I may walk into my church with a certain swagger because people know me. Everyone runs up to me saying, "Hey Claude", and yes, maybe I enjoy it. <br />
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Scary huh? God and I deal with that pretty often in my quiet time, one of the first things I pray for is for Him to remind me that it's not about me and my own glory but Him. That the influence I have is not mine but His. But I have that reminder. Our culture doesn't. And look at our culture. I mean all the social media is for YOU to express your opinions about everything. Sportscasters sit in their comfortable chairs and share their "valued" opinion of everything in sports. And we don't live in a modest culture at all when it comes to sexuality. Every TV show talks about sex as if it's not a personal, intimate, and private moment between two couples committed to each other. And we'll watch sex scenes that we wouldn't allow to happen right in front of us. The level of profanity and disrespect to each other. The selfishness expressed throughout our days. When I'm mad that I have to wait in line at Wal-Mart. I'm mad when someone pulls out in front of me on the road and then drive slow! Are you kidding me!? Do they not know who I am? I deserve to go to Wal-Mart for one thing and not have to wait 32 minutes in a line! I deserve to drive in peace and ease to my destination without someone cutting me off or slowing my speed down. ME ME ME! I, I, I!<br />
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So even trying to speak with a woman about modest dress is funny now. Because I love their response. "Well nothing is cute in modest dress."<br />
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Sadly and terribly true. And why? Because our culture is telling them that showing their bodies is womanly. It's women's fashion to wear tight and revealing clothes. So why would I dare call women to conform to scripture rather than the culture?<br />
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I'll say it again. Who am I to point women to conform to scripture and grow in godliness by doing so with the pressures of culture for them to look a certain way? <br />
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So anyways, with our immodest culture, how do we even pursue modesty? Because from the definition, it isn't just women that need to get better at it. I'll just ask some questions for you to measure the motives behind some of your actions. <br />
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Why do you Tweet those godly sayings? <br />
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Why do you post when you've given to charity and paid for someone else's meal or left a big tip for a waitress?<br />
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Why do you share with us on Facebook that you ministered to somebody and they started crying? <br />
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Why do you post pictures of you on your glorious and beautiful vacation?<br />
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Why do you post pictures of your food? <br />
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Why do you dress the way you dress? <br />
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Why do you do the things you do at the church? <br />
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Why are you leading that small group? <br />
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Why are you tweeting the lunch you were just on? <br />
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<i>Claude. You're asking me to be honest with myself? </i><br />
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Why yes. Yes I am.<br />
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And what's funny, we really don't want to do this to ourselves. And I'm not saying these things are bad within themselves, I'm just asking you to ask the tough questions and see if you don't experience some convictions. I've gotten a funky answer for some of these questions and I don't do certain things because of the answer I got. And who knows, your answer to these questions may be 100% Godly and perfect. That's fine too. But, it's beneficial to ask just to be sure. <br />
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My goal for this blog is for you to realize how much culture is discipling you. It is shaping everything we do. And if you're a believer in Jesus, you must know that this is unacceptable.<br />
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<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248"><i>Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.</i> <i>Romans 12:2</i></span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248">Why is this important? In the context of Romans 12, Paul makes a statement that is powerful. </span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248"><i><span class="text Rom-12-1">Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—<b>this is your true and proper worship.</b></span> <span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248">Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. <b>Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.</b></span> </i></span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248">Conforming to God and not the culture is our true and proper worship. Living sacrifices, which means while we are alive we are to be sacrificially living our lives that reflects our relationship with Christ, in which since Christ calls us under His Lordship, that means we are constantly adjusting to being made into the likeness of Him. So yes, it doesn't matter what culture says----Christ is the ultimate authority. </span><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3336627191857237503.post-77538291720401661842013-05-21T00:32:00.000-05:002013-05-21T00:32:59.201-05:00For The Lonely<i><span class="text Matt-11-28" id="en-ESV-23488"><span class="woj">"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-11-29" id="en-ESV-23489"><span class="woj">Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj">For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt. 11:28-30</span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span></i>
<span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj">I'm aware of the transparency a topic like this requires. But I'm honestly sharing this in hope of being a help to my friends who struggle with the same things I struggle with. Because deep into the root of ALL of us we want to be loved. Now we pursue those things in different ways because we define it in different ways, but it is all from the pursuit of love. And I'm praying that you are able to grow in your understanding of how the "all who labor and are heavy laden" looks like, and how it sounds. Here's how I read the world around me. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj">When I'm listening to people boast in how drunk they got the previous night, to me I see them trying to show the people listening that they are acceptable. Acceptance is a pursuit of love. Being in any kind of community or sense of family is better than none at all. That's why guys join gangs. A sense of family is a strong connection. A feeling of belonging is strong, and it runs deep within us creating connections and usually behavior follows. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-ESV-23490"><span class="woj">I also know some people who are deeply desiring to be successful. Nothing wrong with ambition, but the pursuit of status is simply still a desire for love. We associate great status with again being accepted, which we have somehow equated as love. I've seen this in myself, when I'm notice the football players on campus getting attention and somewhere within me a jealous cord chimes, and I feel less loved because they love this football player because of his status. </span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">Now I love the text above because it seems to be pointing at the fact that these pursuits are exhausting. These vain pursuits are exhausting because they don't fully satisfy. We always want more. We always want more money, a greater high, greater drunken nights, higher status, higher profits, higher acceptance. That's why we name drop. That's why we puff our chest out because we got new clothes or shoes. We want to be admired and loved, we all want this. </span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">Christians, why do we struggle with this? I mean, it makes sense that an unbeliever would fall into this toil and tiresome cycle because they don't believe in the God of love, the Creator and Sustainer, the Joy and Peace of our souls and salvation. We actually know the Jesus that's saying come to Him so we can have rest and yet.....</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">We choose not to. </span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">I'm starting to have grace for the atheists. I mean, Christian's don't live like there's a God. I don't blame them for thinking there isn't one. Doesn't make it true, just saying I understand it now. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">But you, if you are a Christian and a follower of Jesus, what are you doing? Do you not know who you are connected to? Do you not know who you are in communion with? Do you not know who you are in fellowship with? Do you not know who your Father is? </span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">You betta recognize! </span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">No seriously, we NEED to do a better job of this. We of all people should not be turning to the things of this world to find satisfaction when we serve an infinite God. We of all people should know how to find love because we know the God of love. Can't have true love without God. Don't care how many Live, Laugh, Love shirts you wear. You're not getting to the fullness of your being without God. You'll never truly experience love without experiencing the Cross where God displayed His love for you. But in that, for the believers, what am I saying? </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">We are connected to the ultimate source of love. When I'm laying up at night praying for God to send me my wife ASAP, and He calls my name to come and rest in Him because He's still preparing her and me, and I turn Him away because he's not a woman and I want her now. He usually hands me over to my desires and I get hurt. I'm sure some of you can relate to that. </span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">Do I really realize what I'm saying in that moment? God isn't as good as a woman? Like, the Creator of the woman isn't good enough? God isn't as good as marriage, so I have to help Him out because He's being slow? </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
Brother, all that sexual drive you have is your pursuit of love. Whether you're looking for it through porn or you're one of the fortunate ones and can get girls to have sex with you on the regular, listen,--- You're exposed. The cross already exposed you. You want love. You want it pretty bad too. You need love. And you're looking for it in terrible places, and that's why you're never satisfied. You're probably more lonely that you realize. <br />
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Sister, your desire to be married is, well, your pursuit of love. You beautifully desire the security of what marriage CAN AND SHOULD bring to you. I wish somehow culture could leave your minds alone and let you see the beauty of the cross, that in it you are already loved securely. That white wedding dress you're desperately waiting to wear is already wrapped around you because Jesus's holy blood has covered all of your sins, and you are now seen as holy and blameless before God.<br />
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But hear me. I'm not saying these desires are bad within themselves. Sex is from God. Marriage is from God. But see something....it's FROM GOD. So get in your mind how good sex feels and how good marriage is....JUST IMAGINE WHAT THE CREATOR OF IT CAN DO FOR YOU!?<br />
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You have to hear that. The Creator of all you crave is wanting your heart. <br />
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So I charge you with this. Know your God. Know who you're connected to. Those things you are longing for, trust in God's timing and enjoy the Creator of those things until He hands those precious gifts to you. Love the giver of the gifts, not just the gifts. Let's love God. <br />
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I mean, let's <i>really</i> love Him.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0