Jesus, Remember Me

"One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!"  But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence?  We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong." Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." Luke 23:39-43

Hello readers.  Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin.

I had one of my friend's awesome mother ask me about the quote at the top of my blog.  In case you've never noticed it, here it is.  "The mystery of His love has compelled me.  And for this, I have found the keys to life; and I found them shaped like nails."  And my friend's mom asked did I come up with it, and I answered yes.  But then I realized that I haven't explained it to you all, so, this blog is for that reason.
So the above scripture is a story that I've recently fallen in love with.  I feel its the beauty and the basis of true salvation.  Here's my burden.

It pains me.  Like, seriously, it burdens me bad---that some people will miss out on God for silly reasons.  Maybe even you reader, it burdens me that maybe you will miss out on God because you're only focusing on what religion calls you to do.  I remember growing up in church with the knowledge of what was expected from Christians.  Like I knew how they were supposed to act and be and etc.  And I remember even after I got saved, I became this good little Christian boy and started to follow all the rules that the pastor so thoroughly laid out for the church on a regular basis---good Christian boy.  Ata boy.  And I remember so vividly the day when God finally cornered me.  Here's the story.

I had just missed out on the Industrial Design program (long story) and I was somewhat depressed.  And I was upset with God.  Well, more hurt.  Because I was told that if I lived right, God would bless me.  If I did this, God would bless me.  I mean, God was for me right?  Jeremiah 29:11, God wants to prosper me, and give me a hope and a future! So what happened!?  This is the major that I want to do, this is why I came to Auburn, and you didn't help me get in---it was my hope and my future! And I remember being in tears, putting together an entertainment center and upset because I had assembled the thing backwards, crying out to God man what happened!??  Here lies the problem.  Immediately, I looked at my works, or my actions.  For some reason I associated God not working things out my way with me not doing something for God correctly------ let me say it again.

For some reason, I associated God not working things out the way I wanted Him to because of me not doing something for God correctly.

What a stressful Christian walk right?  Is this the freedom Jesus came to give us?  Because this sucks.
These were my thoughts.  I was very focused on my works, and never really recognized it until that moment.  But of course, I continued, rushing in panic and still crying out to God, please God, I'll do anything.  I need Jeremiah 29:11 to work out for me here, I'm struggling, I'm lost, I'm confused, I don't know what to do! And finally God just said SON LOOK AT ME!

And in that moment I had this vision of me scurrying around in front of the throne, eager to be sure God was pleased with my works, being sure He was pleased with how I looked, how I acted, how I dressed, where I was seen, who I was dating, what I was doing alone with this date, all these things and God just said,

Son Just look at me!  Here's my point.

In that above scripture, that thief on the cross didn't have time to get his act together.  He didn't have time to tithe or be early for church or even be a regular attender.  He didn't have time to stop drinking so much or stop having sex or for the actual reason he was actually being punished, stop stealing. 

The thief on the cross just looked at Jesus.  Metaphorically, He just acknowledged Christ and repented of what he had done.  Hanging from the cross, I'm sure the guy had time to think over his deeds.  I'm sure he was tired of the pain physically and the guilt weighing on him as he hung, because repentance is so easy from the place of pain.  So all he did was realized who Jesus was.  This is all he did, please catch this. 

He had faith that Jesus was who He said He was. 

That's huge.  And I'm afraid that so many people miss out on God because they'll focus on the obeying God before the loving Him first.  So many people would rather enter from behind Jesus, thinking we have to get ourselves together before we can face Him.  Hey, look at Him.  Enter through the front door where He's waiting to embrace you.  One thing that helps me understand this visual is to consider that we will see our unholiness when we look at God.  So therefore, when we look at God we see His holiness.  I'll say it this way.

The gospel invites us to come near to Him, where His holiness is pressed onto us.  Which means this...

Stop trying to get to God through your works.

Won't work.  He's already said that.  You can't even get to Him unless you enter through Jesus.  So this relationship with Jesus thing is crucial to your health and growth as a believer.  Without Him, without Jesus, you are not seen as righteous before God.  His payment, His death paid for our sins so we are covered, redeemed, reconciled,  for the glory of God.  All God is asking for you to look at Him and just desire the relationship.  He's wanting you to ask,

Jesus, remember me. 

Jesus, know me.  I want to be invited into fellowship with You.  I want to join You in paradise.  And He's welcoming us into this!  Freely given.  Just like this man on the cross demonstrated!  I'm so glad Jesus saved this man on the cross and put it in our Bible because this is the gospel of Jesus clearly shown.  You're invited in. 

So Jesus, remember me. 

The Dreams of the Writer

Hello readers.  Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin. 

I've decided to share with you all my dreams.  I hear that term a lot on Twitter.  Everyone seems to have dreams of becoming millionaires and corporate bosses and NFL Superstars---not me.  I do my best not to knock anyone's dreams because its truthfully to knock their identity, but whatever, that's an entirely different blog for another day. Let's go. 

My first and perhaps biggest dream is to be a father. 

I know what some of you may be thinking.  "Claude, you should dream bigger."  Well I say back to you that you have no idea the impact a father has on a family, therefore impacting a bloodline, therefore impacting an entire generation.  In my search for understanding of life, Jesus has beautifully walked me through all of my issues and showed me where most of them have stemmed from the lack of a father.  I bet if you sat down and prayed for God to reveal to you your issues, you'll find the same root cause.  Oh, this doesn't mean things like not knowing how to shave, or how to build a car, or fix a car engine or how to shoot a basketball.  Oh no.  It's those hidden affirmations and examples and core training that I didn't have.  I'll mention just a few of them. 

The first major thing is what exactly does love look like?  I've never seen my father love my mother so I paid attention to R&B and figured out it was sex and sex and spell it backwards xes.  Thank you Jesus for releasing me from that.  A result of that was seeing God's daughters as objects, play toys for this game of lust to entertain my "needs" (Yes, that was sarcasm).  Next I didn't know what love felt like from an authority role, so I dishonored it.  I had seen or more so heard enough corrupt police stories to be able to throw all of anybody in an authority role in this category of this theology, "You have to earn my respect."  So I warred against whatever assumed the role and had the ability to tell me what to do. Parents, the principals in our schools, coaches. So many more, but I'll sum this thing up. 

I've begun to feel the weight of a broken family.  Painfully watching my own scars heal and further watching the same chains that I once wore are still binding my own family.  Watching my family battle with insecurities, potentials unreached, a lacking of worship, a lacking of hope, a poor definition of love, unhealthiness, and the list goes on.  But God put this burden on me after revealing to me that sin has entered into the world because of bad male leadership.  Or to make it personal, your life has been affected because of bad male leadership.  Oh, and you'll find the good news of Jesus Christ hits a full circle here.  Great male leadership redeemed the world.  Great male leadership sanctified His wife, the church.  Great male leadership died for His wife, the church.  So Paul says this, "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved..." Ephesians 5:25   

Men, we must love like Jesus.  We can't learn that if we don't know Him.  That's how we'll be able to pull of the example of Jesus in our own lives, by knowing Him. Great male leadership loves his family.  Great male leadership not only provides financially for his family, but emotionally, intellectually, graciously, generously, and many many other areas.  And that is a ministry by itself.  I follow some pastors that are involved in this organization called Focus on the Family.  Self explanatory.  But by focusing on the family I prove to the world that I'm capable of leading anything because I've first done it in my home.  You should be able to judge my leadership based on my family.  If I'm not loving my wife, then there's no way I can love you.  If I'm not respecting and honoring her, then just know I more than likely will not respect and honor you. If I'm not serving my family, then I can't serve you. So the weight of a man's value is found in how well he can lead.  Lol. I can't let you miss that.  I will attempt to plant that seed in your heart right now.

The weight of a man's value is found in how well he can lead.

But Claude, there's so many other things----I'm using God's measuring system here.  That's all God is concerned about for men.  K? Let's go into my next dream.   

My next dream is to plant a church.  I love how God has orchestrated this area of my life in the last few years.  I had this vision for A church last year, but I brushed it as nonsense.  But thankfully I clicked the Save As button and put a tag on it that said, "Find this church one day, it sounds pretty cool".  And an internship later and a Switch Campus Youth Pastor later this dream became more of a reality.  God brought it back up one day as "No, that vision wasn't for you to find that church one day, but to build that church one day.

Ohhhhhhh.....

Sometimes God shows us His provision before we even start to believe in ourselves.  Or He's just patient even when we're knuckleheads.  And the leadership surrounding me that's investing their time and efforts in training me and building me up, ALL part of the grooming process for this dream.  But the vision for my own church birthed from a heart of desperation to know what plagues you and me.  I was begging God to maybe give me the answer to why are people so crazy?  Ok, sorry.  I meant to say, "Why are people hurting?"  I have an entire blog for the answer I got from God in this entry---Show Them My Son---.  But after answering that question for me, God also directed me to a Proverb that says, "Above all else, guard your heart.  For it is the wellspring of life."  So God showed me that a lot of people are suffering from heart problems.  EVERYTHING people do is a condition of the heart.  EVERYTHING in the heart is shown in our lives.  Everybody that hates God or ignores God or hates people or with anger problems or insecurities or blows up at you, attitude problems, or whatever---- all heart problems.  So the combination of this proverb and the phrase show them my son, birthed this mission of pointing people to Jesus so they can be healed. 

The Healing Heart Church.

So these are my two dreams.  And if one thing I've learned is that dreams shouldn't be reached for, but worked towards.  Don't just reach for it, become it.  I believe dreams are an outpour of what God is already doing in your world.  These father and church dreams are being worked on right now.  A loving father had to learn how to love before he showed it to his family---so I pursue Jesus.  And a diverse and thriving church cannot be that if the leader isn't---so I freshen my experience with Jesus by exposing myself to everything, different pastors, different types of worship, different kinds of people, different kinds of races, different kinds of ministries, different kinds of music, different kinds of cultures.

All to aid to the progressing of God's kingdom and bringing God glory.  One day God burdened me with this charge, "Son, help me get my children back." Oh, that's the call of us all!  But each and everyone one of us should have this next thing happen to us as we pursue God and begin to ask how can we be of a help.  "And this is how I want YOU to do it."

Find that.  Your life will change.  You'll come alive. 

I have.   

Season of Adoption

"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children."

Hello readers.  Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin.

So, I was thinking last Friday night about how I feel like I'm in a season of adoption.  Here's the story.

I started this fast from women on October 21st, 2011.  I remember sharing this to people and the funny looks I would get.  Like, how do you fast women?  Haha. At the time, I didn't know how either.  I just knew something had to change.  I had been pursuing women since I was around 9, and never relented.  I also had this thirst for women, this great desire for intimacy with the opposite sex.  It fueled bad decisions, regrets, long term memories, and of course heartache.  So there I stood, sometime in October, frustrated with a certain situation and like we always do, try to blame God for our mess.  And this whisper spoke to me.

GET RID OF THEM.

Well God, I can't eliminate all the girls in the world. That's a silly idea.

GET RID OF THEM FROM YOUR HEART.

Interesting.  So, as I stated earlier, had no idea how that looked.  I just obeyed and attempted it.  I had to stop talking to a few girls that already had my heart at the time, in hopes of I would turn that pursuit of them into feet geared to pursuing God.  And I will confess that just like any other fast, the first few weeks were difficult.  I remember walking around campus and every girl that made eye contact with me caused my heart to skip beats. 

Pathetic?  Yeah I know.  But there, I found the issue. 

It seemed to me that I valued the love of a woman over the love of God.  So God began to show me how I was longing for this earthly love above His.  This special connection that you can share with a woman, emotionally, physically, and the newest joy, spiritually---I was longing for it.  I'd lay awake on those sleepless nights and imagine being able to share a bed with a woman I love, able to have something to hold at night, having someone to share memories with, build a family with, and couldn't wait for the day for that to happen.

Guys aren't that emotional right?  Lol.  I'll just say this.  It cracks me up that men think that we're not governed by emotions sometimes.  God exposed to me that my mad dash for women was simply my desire to be loved.  I'd say that's pretty emotional. #boom . Moving on.

So as Jesus is exposing to me all of this junk that's been in my heart for years, He also tosses me a shovel and suggests we get it out.  The first thing He showed me was that I was a son.  A son of a Holy God.  That I've been made new, I have a new home, new inheritance, new beginning.  And as the months progressed, things slowly but surely got better.  Yes, it was hard.  I'm a terrible motivational speaker because I will not say it's been cake and ice cream, or all you have to do is live, laugh, and love, or God and I have been going out on dates and no, none of that.  It took me fearfully and painfully but willingly submitting to God.  And then this happened. 

So, imagine this newly adopted son.  The life he had before he was adopted was, sad to say, was terrible.  But at the time, he didn't know any better, so he said things to himself like, "Well, it could always be worst."  So here's the newly adopted son in this new home, with new rules.  He remembered he used to have "freedom" in the orphanage where he was dying and more often miserable, but now he had to submit to his new Father in order to dwell in His house.  But, the son noticed something.  In the orphanage, there were times when he would go hungry.  But in this new house, he gets three meals a day, and the fridge is ALWAYS full.  In the orphanage, there were times when he couldn't take a shower everyday to be cleansed.  But in this new house, he can shower everyday.  He sometimes splurges and takes two or three just because he can.  In the orphanage, he remembers the lonely nights he had to fall asleep by himself, humming some song he heard on the radio earlier in the day.  But in this new house, his new Father tucks him in at night, reads him a bedtime story, and stays there until he falls asleep. 

That newly adopted son is me.  My poor Dad, (lol), He's so patient with me.  I had gotten so used to the loneliness that I forgot that He's always there.  I had gotten so used to being hungry that I forgot there's food in the fridge.  And again, poor Dad, I forgot that I didn't have to walk around with this terrible stench but that I could be cleansed daily. He had and still has to constantly remind me. 

"Son, you know you can come shower, anytime right?"    Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Psalm 51:7

"Son, you know you can come eat, anytime right?"  "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty John 6:35


"Son, you do know you can come talk, anytime?" Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30


I am a son.  I have a new Dad.  A new home.  Yeah, it'll take me awhile to get used to the new perks I have available since I've arrived, but the most important thing is......


I am home. 

The Self Help Bible (NKJV)

Hello readers. Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin. 

I have much praise to give to my brother Jonathan Brown and his sharpening of me.  And this blog entry and many others have been a result of our friendship, so let's work. 

The title of this blog is The Self Help Bible.  As usual, I try to theme the title with a hint of sarcasm, hopefully to draw you into reading it.  So welcome. Now, as with everything, I'm here for your joy.  I wish I knew how to blog all the happy things.  Like I'm sure you guys would love to know how I haven't jogged in a week due to laziness or how I cut my leg on a car door yesterday, but, I didn't create this blog for you to be admired of me and my inabilities.  I desperately want you to be admired with Christ.  All of my motivation for these blogs is birthed out of that key element, be admired with Christ.  And speaking of happy things, let's get into the subject. 

So, I've slowly been noticing that a lot of pastors or speakers are very happy.  Like very happy in their teaching.  Now please don't misunderstand me, I'm all about motivating people and getting to them emotionally, all for that.  But what I have the burden now is that I feel that a lot of us are Feel Good Christians------

Yeah, that pause was intentional. 

We're Feel Good Christians.  And it's not our fault.  We've been pumped this message or this gospel weekly of how much God loves you and there's grace and forgiveness and He's desperate for you. All biblical trues.  All exactly correct.  But what I think has happened is that a cultural perspective of all of these words have gotten us into only being consumers of God.  That's honestly why I love my church.  Pastor Chris Hodges at Church of the Highlands encourages people almost every week to join the Dream Team and begin serving in the church.  That helps change that perspective in a physical way.  But perhaps even more important than that, we still have to stop being consumers of God in our thinking as well.  Here's the thing. 

It's been presented to us that the bible is a self help book.  Hey, dealing with hopelessness, Jeremiah 29:11.  Dealing with depression and loneliness, John 3:16.  Dealing with hard trials, Romans 5:3. 

The Self Help Bible. 

And quotes like "Let go and let God" and "Only God can judge me" and "Name it and claim it" and "Trust in the Lord He will make a way" and "This too shall pass" and "I'm too blessed to stress" and "I'm blessed and highly favored"  and so many more have become widely popular among us modern day Christians.  Almost common speech among the Bible Belt talkers.  Now again, all are in someway correct, so that's not the issue.


But have we gotten more focused on making our lives better here than we have making our eternity better?

I mean, nowadays the world and the church are preaching the same message! Hey, join us and you'll be successful and happy.  And I have yet to see this in scripture.  Now what I have seen in scripture is that Christians will face persecution because of their faith.  And some of us can't even handle missing a bus or making a C on a test or stubbing a toe and we're cursing the devil for a bad day.  Woe to me, my life is in shambles.  Newsflash, Christ tells us to focus on heavenly things in Colossians 3:1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  


Here's the danger of this feel good mentality.  A. It creates bitter people towards God, and want to know why?  Because life hits these people in an unexpected way and they were told that God is a good and loving God.  They were never explained the weight of their sin and the curse on the Earth and the effects of it, no, they were told that God will spoil you and be like your grandpa and slip you cookies when your mom isn't looking.  What are we doing?  What are we communicating?  What do you tell people when they lose a parent "prematurely"? What do you tell parents who lose children?  What do you tell a wife who's loving husband wants a divorce?  What do you tell a girl who's boyfriend just dumped her?  What do you tell victims of self trafficking?  What do you tell these people?  The concordance doesn't say anything!?  Look in James? No, nothing there.  What if there is no bible verse to make them feel better?

But what there is----there is a Savior to overwhelming comfort them.  Because here is where we'll settle and just tell them something like, "Just trust in the Lord."  I remember going through a season in my life and I was venting to a friend and she started to ramble off all of these verses to me about trust in God and yada yada and I was like, "Shut up, I've used those already.  I know these verses."

So what happened?

I was a feel good Christian.  The verses were like temporary hits of satisfaction.  My nicotine patch for my urgent craving for my situation to change.  I'd quote them or Tweet them on Monday and by Wednesday I was back feeling the SAME way I was.  Or you'll have the Christian girls saying, Lord, I've been delighting in You and You said you'd give me the desires of my heart!  And God is saying, you've only been delighting in Me for a month.

Ok, let me stop with the analogies.  Here's the point.  If we're not pointing people to Jesus instead of the encouraging words He says, then we're selling people short.  Hey, I can't answer any of those questions, but I can say is that we should set our hearts on things above because what happens on this Earth really doesn't matter that much.  When I arrived to this eternal perspective on life and this eternal quest of making sure I'm chilling with God come Judgement Day, this life has started to just pass me by.  This life tends to throw its darts and daggers at me and I end up talking like Paul when he says, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!  I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far.  Philippians 1:21-23

Really Paul?  I mean really?  You've stepped off the deep end huh?  Had a little too much to drink huh Paul? 

No, Paul got it.  Paul had something that a lot of us know nothing about.  Ok, I won't say that.  We MAY know a little bit about it.  Paul had joy.  And a serious abundance of it.  Joy is hard to spot when things are going well, because you're happy.  Let me say it this way, the joy of the Lord is this deep delight in Him, not in just His words, but in Him.  You can't get there reading the bible like it's a self help book. Everything in the Bible isn't applicable or even possible without a relationship with Him. 

So to get people truly healed, let's shoot Jesus straight.  Not His comforting words to make the emotions go wild, but let's shoot them Jesus.  Let's present Him so they know who said the words.  Let's present Him so they encounter Him and they too can have this joy that we speak of.  They deserve that.  People deserve to know the truth, and the truth is, this life ends. So that having a better life in 60 days, yeah, that will only last a little while.  So focus on eternity.  And once your perspective is there, your life will naturally get better, as you await the uniting of you and your Father in Heaven.

Let's step away from being Feel Good Christians and work our way into being true followers of Christ, which makes it sound like I'm implying that they're two different things.  :) 

I AM.

Read this to understand that inside joke. Christian or Follower of Jesus.     

A Woman's Dilemma

Hello readers. Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin.


We're stepping into the Garden of Eden again.  And I love the opening scene in the Bible, it's so rich in drama and tragedy and humor and explanations of why we act the way we act. So right after Adam and Eve sin, and God is dishing out their punishments.  To the woman He says this,


To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”Genesis 3:16

Now, I remember the first time I read that, I chuckled and said oh, this is why women are ALWAYS thinking about getting married one day.  But, further study exposed a hidden truth in this text, or a hidden translation.  This term, which is actually often debated "desire for your husband" actually means "dominate or rule" over your husband.  This text is embarrassing for some women because they don't like to think that part of their design is this. Of course, completely understandable.  Who would want to know that women have a natural tendency to war against men.  Hmmm..is that apparent in the 21st century?  Let's investigate.

Maybe it can be seen in the feminist movement?  When women wanted to be treated as equals. Now, rightfully so, you all have an argument.  Men have been abusive and inconsiderate and disrespectful for years, this I know, I'm not letting us off the hook---- but it seems to me instead of allowing God to handle us, you all took it upon yourselves.  "We want to be equals".  Which actually, thinking as I type this sentence, this may have actually been a cry for ,"We just want to be appreciated."  Hmmm..I'm going to chew on that one for later.  

Anyways, I've also had the privilege of being around a lot of strong independent women growing up.  I've experienced first hand a woman HAVING to play both roles in the household. And again, rightfully so, she had no choice in the matter because of men.  But what has happened and my reasons for this blog is that I've started to see women take pride in this brokenness.  It's like they have actually taken on the male role in the household in seeking to find value in their ability to lead or their accomplishments.  And it's carried over into raising up daughters to do the same thing.  And I continue to watch women try to flex their strength and power by how they behave, whether it's afraid to be vulnerable or heavy sarcasm, bad attitudes, or constantly reminding people how strong and independent they are--which are all responses of brokenness. 

And it breaks my heart, honestly, to even watch it.  And I continue to play it over in my mind, why do women like to date bad boys.  And my mom has always told me that women like projects.  And I think she had something there. They like to get a guy and change him to fit their ideal.  Perhaps is that Genesis 3:16 working itself out?  Maybe I can get this guy and mold and shape him into the man I, I mean God, is calling for him to be.  Right ladies?  No, you're not actually thinking this.

But it's how you're acting.

Oh, but the typical excuses I get.  "There just aren't any good men anymore."  "He's a nice guy, he just needs to be pushed."  "He's only that way around his friends."  "Maybe I can draw him to loving God."  So what happens, you again take matters into your own hands again and jump into a relationship with a guy you have already admitted you're unequally yoked with.    

Ladies, here's a hint.  You actually don't want a man you have motivate to do anything this important.  And, it makes me laugh because you think this works. 

"Let me tell men to man up and lead my family."  "Let me tell men to man up and pursue women."  "Let me tell men to be better men."  "Let me tell men to honor and protect me."

If you're having to do this, I'm sorry.  But it's not a good thing.  You don't want a guy that you have to spark a fire under for him to do anything this important for you.  There's a hidden issue that's there, and it can be missed if you, we, or whoever just focuses on what he's NOT doing.   

You never want to devalue a man.

And that's what you're doing when you do that.  You're basically telling him, SINCE YOU'RE NOT A MAN, SINCE YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH, A WOMAN HAS TO COME IN HERE AND KICK YOU IN YOUR BUTT AND FIRE YOU UP.  And men's secret desire is that we want to be valued. Read the brother of this article, The Male Dilemma, for more about that.  But instead of insulting---or as you call it, encouragement, throw some praise his way.  Hey, again, if our desire is to be valued, then we will continue to do it OR do more to get that value up and more praise.  We're men.  We're the crazy species that plays golf one time and wants to go buy the best clubs we can find!  We want to be valued and be the best at whatever it is.  That's why we swap old football stories because that's when we were valued.  That's why we do these things.  Hey, calling us dogs isn't too far fetched if you ask me.  If a dog wants to continue to get a treat, it'll continue to do what caused him to get that treat.  ;)

That's a joke by the way.  Don't be walking around petting every guy you see, that's not okay.  

 Now, here again is where the first part kicks in.  I'm sure the 21st century new age woman is thinking, pshh, I don't want their heads to get big.  I don't want to do that.  So, you're rather rule over them and muscle them into behaving and devalue him and risk getting a guy that you have to remind that its your birthday and you want something nice.  Or the guys you have to remind to send flowers just because.  Or the guys you have to remind to love you unconditionally even when you're having a bad day and just want to be mean.  (Oh, sorry, you all don't do that do you? ;) Hahaha)   So, yeah, trust me on this one, you really don't want a guy like that.  So if you're having to do any fixing up to get him to where you want him, just get ready to continue working until the day you two wed and die.

"Your desire will be for your husband." 

Hmmm....interesting isn't it?  Now, as your brother, shall I encourage?  I suggest learning to love.  Stop reading books about being the perfect wife and mother, no more Steve Harvey books, no more Twilight and Bachelor TV shows, and no more pinning your dream wedding on Pinterest--- all these things do to you is give you this dream of love and what love is.  Did you not know that you are already dearly loved?  You don't have to dream about it, you can experience it.  So, just learn to love.  Learn what your Savior has done for you.  Experience it fully and truly.  Because it is in HIM when you find the kind of man you deserve.  And no, I'm not saying be the Christian girls that think wanting a husband is somehow showing God you're discontent with being single, all I'm saying is right now, learn to love.  Experience love.  Right now. And tomorrow too. Learn how to serve as the wife of Christ before ever being a wife.  Learn how to nurture and show compassion before having children.  All these are fruits of women who have learned how to love.And not the Lil Wayne version. 

Again, did you not know that you are dearly loved?

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" Colossians 3:12

The Proof of Our Guilt

Hello readers.  Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin.

The title says it all right?  I heard this idea in a message by one of my new favorite pastors Matt Chandler.  How many of us ever think about Hell?  "Yeah?  Not where we're headed right? So why bother thinking about it."

Oh, because scripture tells us to.  It tells us its real and people not knowing God will go there.

Pshh..come on Claude.  Oh I know God.  I love God. 

The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 1 John 2:4


This is love for God: to obey his commands. 1 John 5:3

So? Still think you know and love God.  See here's the thing.  If we're not doctrinally understanding what it means to know God and to love God then we're missing out on the fullness of God, and could very well be headed to this place we try not to think about AND will argue that we're not going there.  Here's the illustration.

Ever wonder why everybody in jail claims they're innocent?  Or ever watched a trial and the convict is sitting in his chair with this head in his lap, waiting to hear the final verdict.  And the judge slams down his gavel and screams out GUILTY AS CHARGED!  Does the convict jump up with joy?  Does he boast and brag?  High five the judge?

Of course not.  Just like the inmate and just like the convict, when we're feeling guilty, all we want is MERCY.

So, naturally...and of course...we're going to want to believe things like, "Well God is a loving God, He wouldn't send me to Hell." Or, "If He is a loving God, why would He create Hell?"  Or my favorite that people say, "I feel like God loves me to much to send me to Hell."

This is only a result of our culture's lack of awareness of sin.  "Consider therefore the kindness and sternness of God" Romans 11:22.  Kindness of God, yeah, I can get that.  Peace, joy, love, happiness, purpose, hope, yes.  Well, the same mouth also said all those other things we want to ignore.  And since our culture doesn't have an understanding of how doctrine explains sin and how God feels about it, we flaunt it.  We'll tweet it, we'll blog it, we'll rap about it, we'll sing about it, we'll protest about it, we'll mock it, we'll write books about it, we'll go on Oprah and agree about it........

But we all desire heaven.


Why?  What is heaven?  Can we seriously think we can ignore God here AND ignore Him in His home?  Hey God, nice crib, I'll just hang out on the porch.

That's like if I could, right now as you're reading this, reach through the computer and punch you in face, and then tweet I just did it, but oh, can you loan me $20, I need some gas. 

I think our grasp of eternity is off, or we don't even have one.  Imagine it for a second.  And what cracks me up about us, we'll try to experience God in our fullness rather than in His fullness.  We don't even know the people driving on the streets outside of our apartments or homes but we think we have the understanding of God.

I'm learning that we have to be careful with ministering to our generation.  We're wired to think about ourselves first.  We've even corrupted hearing Jesus loves you.  Like, of course He does, I love me some me.  Don't we say stuff like that?  Or rather, we act like that.

Here's the wrap up.

Don't fret my dear, this story always end good, for the ones who take heed.  Because it takes you truly understanding the wrath of God and the sin that's attached to your body right now to understand how much God loves you.  You can't understand the weight of Christ's love on the cross without understanding the weight of God's anger with you for sinning.

And we're all operating in free will right now, aren't we?  You do know free will will eventually end.  We may have a choice now of what we do and where we go, but that choice ends on sentencing day.  You're either in, or you're out.  God doesn't want you out, and neither do I.  This blog is for your joy, not your happiness.

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance"  2 Peter 3:9

god's Grace

Hello readers, welcome to my heart.  Let's begin. 

The title was intentional.  It is not a typo.  I wanted to talk about this illustration that's been running over in my mind about how we try to grace ourselves outside of grace.  So for the sake of having to explain everything, here's a key to follow.   

Upper case G, is for God and His Grace. 
Lower case g, is for us and our grace. Ready? Let's work.  

So I had this idea one time about why do we always try to grace ourselves outside of Grace?  Here's the illustration. 

So, you're driving down the interstate one night and your car breaks down.  You pull over to the side of the road and immediately pop the hood of the trunk.  Now, even though you have NO IDEA what you're looking at or looking for, you still look.  Or even if you do have an idea, WE STILL LOOK.  We think, "Hmm, maybe I can fix it. Maybe I can save the mechanic or tow truck some trouble if I can fix it myself?"

We do this exact same thing with God. 

We try to grace ourselves outside of God's Grace.  We try to fix things ourselves.  We try to "save God the trouble" and won't pray about everything and seek God for it.  Here's where this is stemming from. 

I remember a season of my life where I was trying to deal with some issues I had.  And for some reason, I was trying to do it on my own.  This literally was my thought, "God I know better than this.  I shouldn't be feeling this way.  I shouldn't be desiring to do this."  And honestly what I was doing was pushing God away and telling Him, no, I'll fix it, I can handle it.  And now I know why.

We're always looking for our own glory.  We, the little god's, are running around so desperatly to be praised ourselves.  What joy it would have brought me that "I CONQUERED THIS DEFEAT!  I CONQUERED THESE ISSUES!  And besides, I have a reputation to maintain, I can't let people know I struggle with this.  I'm supposed to be a man of God, I can't let people know I have this problem."  Right there, wanting glory for myself.  Trying to operate in my own grace, the little that I have and it's temporary.  I think back to Adam and Eve.  Part of their motivation to eat from the tree was because they wanted to be like God. (Genesis 3:5)  And the funny thing, ------we're still trying to do that.  Let me give you a hint.  WE'RE LOUSY GODS.  Horrible. Terrible. 

We couldn't keep ourselves in the garden.  We couldn't save ourselves from our sins.  We couldn't provide ourselves a healthy birth.  We couldn't decide who our families were.  We couldn't decide how we looked, what happened to us, how tall we got, how short we are, how our facial features turned out.  Hahaha, we can't even create a government that works flawlessly.  Man, we can barely chew food without swallowing down the wrong pipe!  We can't even stop ourselves from dying!  And, this is funny.  We'll continue to try to create our own word.  Hey, every time we disobey God that's exactly what we're doing.

"The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so".Romans 8:7 says that we're hostile to God.  Because in our attempt to create our own word with our little god efforts we're rebelling against His word, telling Him that I disagree with it so I'm going to do my own thing.  I can't imagine the slap in the face.  Think of an expert cook.  Cooks a meal for friends and family.  And as soon as he serves it to them, people start adding salt to it. 

"But you haven't even tried it yet." 

"Well, it needs salt." Or they start to add barbeque sauce to it. 

"You haven't even tried it yet."

"Well, I love barbeque sauce."  LOL...funny illustration but I hope it makes sense.  We're hostile to God when we're operating in this flesh get what flesh wants mindset.  And flesh wants its own glory.  Flesh wants to be elevated.  And to even show how sickening our sinful nature is, flesh even wants to be elevated with God's name on it---the Pharisees for example. 

So focused on BEING MEN OF THE GOD, that they forgot the very essence of what that means.  Being men and women of God means knowing you're weak and worthless and incapable, that God has to grant us grace for us to even approach His throne.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  Hebrews 4:16.  


Be vulnerable and transparent.  Remind people that you are weak.  Because strong men and women of God are weak and dependent.  Crazy right?  Check what Paul says.  

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10