Hello readers. Welcome to my heart. Lets begin.
It's becoming difficult for me to admit this. But, I have defaulted my pursuit after God. The example that comes to mind is this:
In this long deserted field you see me chasing this fast moving train. The wild terrain under my feet makes every step interesting because I'm unsure if I'm close to stepping in a hole or needing to jump over a rock. But it does add an intense thrill to the chase. And the train is closer in sight. I had been staring at the caboose of this train for sometime now, just desperate to reach it. As my intentions become even more purer of reaching this train, I find the distance between the two moving objects is shrinking. As with anything, the momentum I'm gaining and the progress I'm able to see is fueling my legs to continue its work. And in what seemed like no time at all, I found the caboose in reaching distance. With one more desperate outstretch I finally land a finger on the railing. The warm feeling of accomplishment entered my body so I gave one more effort to reach and this time got my entire hand on it. SUCCESS! And with all my might I hurl myself over the rail and land safely on the caboose. After sitting upright I watch the train quickly moving away from where I was just running. Choosing to rest and catch my breathe, I sit and enjoy the true comfort and peace and just watch the beautiful view pass me by. Man....this is the life.
But I'm missing something. I've been chasing this train for so long and I'm just content with just reaching the caboose? Lol, and if you haven't figured this out, the train is God.
I love talking about my pursuit of love that I went through a few years ago. I was passionately seeking God and trying to understand His love for me. So I started to chase the train, desperate to understand it. No more religion, just God. No more can't do's, just God. And, typical Christian, only wanting to know what we can expect from God. "God is going to do this and that for me because He loves me, oh dear!"
And....we miss the point. Here I am, on the train. HE ALLOWED ME ON THE TRAIN! OHHH!! But wait, this train is infinitely long. I can't even see to the front of it! Why am I not desiring to see the rest of the train?! I defaulted my true pursuit of God. After learning about what I can expect from God, I defaulted the pursuit because I never learned what He expects from me.
If you can't say Amen, say Ouch.
So, basically, this blog is about me recognizing that since I "think" I have a grip on how He loves me, I need to be focusing on how I can love Him. Um, yeah, I believe I can end it on that. Love you all.