Monday, May 7, 2012


"Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom."  Psalm 90:12

Hello readers.  Welcome to my heart.  Let's begin.

I was working the other day.  The sun was bearing down on my body as I stood outside The Hotel at Auburn University in my bellman uniform, beads of sweat breaking out on my forehead.  And I had 5 hours of work left to go, and I was praying for God to somehow rescue me from this torture.  The front desk was slow, and I was expected to wait and open doors and help guest with luggage. Well, what am I supposed to do when I don't have any guests? Just stand here!?

So I stood there, pleading for 6:00 to hurry so I could go home.  And this thought hit me. 

I'm rushing my life away.

If you look at our time on a timeline fashion, this is what I was doing.

Ok, it's Wednesday, 1:00 in the afternoon.  I'm ready for 6:00 to get here, which would put me closer to tomorrow, which there is a huge chance that I could not make it to Thursday, but let's just hope I do because I have to work tomorrow, and tomorrow puts me closer to Friday, which makes me closer to getting out of May and into June, which gets 2012 closer to wrapping up, and I turn 25 next year, which gets me closer to getting old, which....

And it's just a slippery slope from here on out.

But do you see what we do?  When we're constantly thinking and rushing our lives away, we're not even able to enjoy the day, today, the day.

And of course this thing quickly went spiritual, because everything is.  But if we seriously understood the brevity of life--- how short life really is--- we wouldn't be rushing it away.  If our concept of time wasn't this extended, "well I always have tomorrow", maybe we could genuinely enjoy today, the day.  And perfect timing, I listened to my pastor's message from last week, Pastor Chris Hodges from Church of the Highlands, (I missed it.  Thank God for the digital church).  But he was actually talking about this last week.  And he mentioned the stories of people who were on the hijacked planes on 9/11, and how they were calling family members with these sincere messages, because in that moment, they didn't have an extended life expectancy.  Different view of their life.  There wasn't a tomorrow.  They knew it.  Death was only two buildings away.  

Let's make it personal.  Let's say you have 5 hours to live.  The doctor calls your cell phone right now and tells you, "Sir, ma'am.  I was randomly looking at your last check up and I missed something.  You may need to come down and let me explain some things to you." And you get to the doctor and he tells you that you only have 5 hours to live.  I guarantee you none of us would be rushing for 6:00 to get here like I was.  We'd cherish and love every single second that we are breathing.


But here's my point.  In this world we live in, we're required to plan.  We're required to make schedules and stick to them, planing for the future by finding scholarships and finding jobs and transitions and Pinterest wedding ideas and books about marriage, all these things are good and great things.  So, I wouldn't dare entertain the thought of eliminating that, but we must train ourselves to learn how to plan and then live.  Plan, and then live.  Plan your future the best you know how, and then just live.  If you noticed, the rest of the text said "so we can grow in wisdom".  Here's where the wisdom comes in at.  You have to plan things, there's no way around that.  Or better said this way, you have to be intentional with things.  So be intentional with planning, and then be intentional of enjoying life, living.  Cherish every moment of your life.  Because your plans working out exactly how you planned them isn't definite, because WE ALL KNOW that plans can easily change.  But what you cannot change is this moment right now.  Let's stop living in the future. Living in the future creates a whole new type of slavery.  We're so worried about the idea that I might not get married that it ruins our time as a single.  And this thought creates a fear, and a fear changes our behavior.  So worried about our future that it will WORRY us in the present.  So ready for 6:00 that we miss out on what's happening at 1:00.  Who knows the things I could have learned or honestly, just enjoyed in those 5 hours I was rushing to get through.  Look around and see the glory of God all around us.  Even the fact that we're breathing right now is His glory, running itself through us every second of our lives.

And again, I'm not suggesting to stop planning.  And I'm not suggesting to get wasted every night--as if any of these things will truly bring fulfillment in our lives.  All I'm saying is just train yourself to remember that life is short.

That you truly only do get one life to live, YOLO.
And that you should really seize the day, CARPE DIEM.

Be sure it's fulfilled. Be sure to enjoy it. Don't waste it living a purposeless life.  Don't just exist, LIVE.  Well actually, I have to be careful here.  Because all of us probably have a different understanding of what it means "to live". So, here's my challenge for you.  Let's search for the true meaning of "to live."  I honestly dare you to attempt it.  But there's a secret.

You can't figure out your purpose of living without getting connected with the Creator.

And if you don't believe in that, or in Him.  Good luck brewing coffee, toaster.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Handle With Care

Hello readers. Welcome to my heart. Let's begin.

I wish I could be fully transparent with you all. I do what I can but considering I don't know all of my readers--- a little discretion is just a safe precaution. 

So, I've found myself in a new situation. And what I've noticed myself doing is looking back into my old blogs for some encouragement or insight to possibly help me. And what's even stranger about that is I've realized the amazing power of text and how it can reveal itself in new ways. But it also makes me wonder.....

Who is actually writing these blogs? It's a cool thought to think that Jesus could be speaking to you and I'm just a vessel that's hitting the keystrokes. I've heard your compliments and your praise, that I'm wise and such. But the more I'm walking in this situation the more I realize I know nothing, nothing at all. So I'm starting to believe that the wise know they know little, so they constantly stay in the state of learning.

But again, I know nothing.

Anyways, the title of this blog is Handle With Care. Here's the story. It seems that I may have almost trapped myself in this macho man of God idealism.  Upon hearing words like leader and warrior and risk taker---these words automatically lull me into this big chested gladiator attire Bible quoting dude, with the physical strength to snatch women out of brothels and beat up pimps, or jump in front of cars and actually not get hurt, or kids can jump on his back and he still can walk 12 miles, or juggling three flaming torches while preaching. I know, crazy right? So as I've been learning and viewing everything in these macho lenses, I've accidentally developed this idea that every situation deserves an overpowering and aggressive force.  To get even more specific, the idea of protecting hearts has accidentally turned into this war between fleshly desires and mind reading. 

What do I mean by mind reading? 

I'll start by saying this.  You think we all don't have broken hearts?  I mean, seriously.  I think even considering anyone has it all together is a gamble---so also to say that everyone probably has a broken heart.  Now, let's use our brains here, because there's a lot of different levels of broken.  Anything is broken after the original state is altered in anyway, so that could be a chip, a split in half, shattered, whatever the degree---its still broken when the original form has been modified.  So when dealing with hearts, sometimes or honestly probably all the time it must require some handling with care. 

We think that people need love forced on them?  To be honest, I've seen it work.  In movies.  The girl pushes the guy away and he comes to her driveway, of course its raining, and he tosses rocks at her window, and she comes to the window, and he screams to her, "I will always love you.  I will never leave this spot unless you come down to me and let me love you.", and she screams back "Just leave me alone." And he doesn't relent and she falls into his arms after letting him climb up a ladder that was conveniently located up against the house, and then she slowly says, "I'm afraid of getting hurt again," and then he goes, "I will never hurt you."  and then she cries, and then he holds her, slow fade, credits.

Are you vomiting yet?  You missed your cue.  Moving on. 

But many times, forced love doesn't work.  I think there's a proper discernment that's needed.  A man has to learn a balance of the two.  It's just like when a man can firmly shake another man's hand but can also gently caress a baby's face.  The discernment that this is a fragile baby, a precious child, but can firmly grasp a screwdriver to screw a bolt in.  Or let's jump back to the broken analogy.  Gentle handling must be done when dealing with broken objects.  Sometimes in our loving others, we must learn how to allow, to step back, to let go.  Allow someone else(Jesus) to deal with it, because people like us may be why the person's heart is broken.  Hmmm...again, I say this.

I know nothing. 


Yes, I hashtagged in this blog. #boom