Thursday, May 3, 2012

Handle With Care

Hello readers. Welcome to my heart. Let's begin.

I wish I could be fully transparent with you all. I do what I can but considering I don't know all of my readers--- a little discretion is just a safe precaution. 

So, I've found myself in a new situation. And what I've noticed myself doing is looking back into my old blogs for some encouragement or insight to possibly help me. And what's even stranger about that is I've realized the amazing power of text and how it can reveal itself in new ways. But it also makes me wonder.....

Who is actually writing these blogs? It's a cool thought to think that Jesus could be speaking to you and I'm just a vessel that's hitting the keystrokes. I've heard your compliments and your praise, that I'm wise and such. But the more I'm walking in this situation the more I realize I know nothing, nothing at all. So I'm starting to believe that the wise know they know little, so they constantly stay in the state of learning.

But again, I know nothing.

Anyways, the title of this blog is Handle With Care. Here's the story. It seems that I may have almost trapped myself in this macho man of God idealism.  Upon hearing words like leader and warrior and risk taker---these words automatically lull me into this big chested gladiator attire Bible quoting dude, with the physical strength to snatch women out of brothels and beat up pimps, or jump in front of cars and actually not get hurt, or kids can jump on his back and he still can walk 12 miles, or juggling three flaming torches while preaching. I know, crazy right? So as I've been learning and viewing everything in these macho lenses, I've accidentally developed this idea that every situation deserves an overpowering and aggressive force.  To get even more specific, the idea of protecting hearts has accidentally turned into this war between fleshly desires and mind reading. 

What do I mean by mind reading? 

I'll start by saying this.  You think we all don't have broken hearts?  I mean, seriously.  I think even considering anyone has it all together is a gamble---so also to say that everyone probably has a broken heart.  Now, let's use our brains here, because there's a lot of different levels of broken.  Anything is broken after the original state is altered in anyway, so that could be a chip, a split in half, shattered, whatever the degree---its still broken when the original form has been modified.  So when dealing with hearts, sometimes or honestly probably all the time it must require some handling with care. 

We think that people need love forced on them?  To be honest, I've seen it work.  In movies.  The girl pushes the guy away and he comes to her driveway, of course its raining, and he tosses rocks at her window, and she comes to the window, and he screams to her, "I will always love you.  I will never leave this spot unless you come down to me and let me love you.", and she screams back "Just leave me alone." And he doesn't relent and she falls into his arms after letting him climb up a ladder that was conveniently located up against the house, and then she slowly says, "I'm afraid of getting hurt again," and then he goes, "I will never hurt you."  and then she cries, and then he holds her, slow fade, credits.

Are you vomiting yet?  You missed your cue.  Moving on. 

But many times, forced love doesn't work.  I think there's a proper discernment that's needed.  A man has to learn a balance of the two.  It's just like when a man can firmly shake another man's hand but can also gently caress a baby's face.  The discernment that this is a fragile baby, a precious child, but can firmly grasp a screwdriver to screw a bolt in.  Or let's jump back to the broken analogy.  Gentle handling must be done when dealing with broken objects.  Sometimes in our loving others, we must learn how to allow, to step back, to let go.  Allow someone else(Jesus) to deal with it, because people like us may be why the person's heart is broken.  Hmmm...again, I say this.

I know nothing. 


Yes, I hashtagged in this blog. #boom

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