chapterONE
“Tomorrow is our two year anniversary,” Kayla Evans
said with a sigh to her girlfriends. The
four girls were having a “Girl’s Night” at Christie and Rachel’s luxurious apartment. They were all cozied up in blankets and
pajama pants, lounging on the couches and chairs sipping coffee and
chatting.
“You don’t sound
too excited about it.” Rachel said.
“Well, I haven’t
heard anything from James about any kind of plans.” Kayla said as she took a sip of her
coffee.
“You think he remembered?” Nikki asked.
“Who
knows?” Kayla shrugged, clearly
discouraged.
“Kay, you know
men like James don’t pay attention to things like that.” Rachel said.
“Girl, all men today don’t pay attention to things
like that.” Nikki corrected. Unanimous agreement went across the
room.
“Which is why WE
have to train them. Everyone knows men
need us. Even God said it. So we have to be the ones to teach them how
to be good boyfriends and husbands.”
“What? Really?”
Kayla asked.
“Yes. You have to train them girl. If he doesn’t know how to make you happy then
you teach him how to make you happy.
Like this situation, for example.
You have a perfect opportunity to train him in how to make you happy by
letting him know that you’re expecting to celebrate tomorrow for your two year
anniversary.” Nikki said.
“What? How would
I do that?”
“Okay,” Nikki
began as she sat up right in her chair, “Text him right now. But don’t make it obvious that you’re
dropping a hint. Give him a chance to be
‘the man’ and say it in a way that he can still take credit for it.”
“So like, ‘Hey
babe. Can’t wait to celebrate our two
year anniversary tomorrow.’?” Kayla
asked.
“PERFECT! Exactly! Something like that.” Nikki screamed as she clapped her hands. The other girls grinned nervously, unsure of
the ingenious theory. Kayla unfolded her
legs on the couch and reached for her cell phone. She found James’s number and started to
compose a text message.
HEY BABE. I CANNOT WAIT TO CELEBRATE OUR TWO YEAR
ANNIVERSARY TOMORROW. IT’S BEEN AN INCREDIBLE TWO YEARS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR
MAKING IT SO GREAT.
Kayla
read the text out loud as she typed. She
fiddled with her nails and bit her bottom lip before sending the text
message.
“There
you go girl. Train him.” Nikki said as Rachel and Christie just nodded
and watched in suspense.
“Hehe,”
Kayla giggled, “This is kind of fun. But
feels a little risky though.” Kayla said
as she sat her phone back down and looked at her girlfriends.
“It
kind of is. But, risky is the game of love.”
Nikki assured.
“Amen
to that.” Rachel and Christie said
almost in unison.
“Do
you really think he didn’t remember?”
Christie asked as she tied her blonde hair into a pony tail.
“I
honestly don’t know.” Kayla answered. “I really have no faith in him though. But! He
has learned to bring me cookie dough ice cream when I’m mad at him. Which is about every three weeks.”
“Wait. Cookie dough ice cream is a pacifier for you?”
Christie asked.
“Well,
I wouldn’t say a pacifier, I’d say more of a….”
Kayla rolled her eyes to the top of her head in thought of a better
word, until finally giving up the search and laughing. “Eh, you’re right. I guess that is what a pacifier is huh?”
“Yeahhhhhh. That’s sad Kayla.” Christie said while shaking her head.
“Shut
up!” Kayla tossed a pillow across the
room as they all shared a laugh. “Oh,
this is him.” Kayla responded after her
phone buzzed in her lap.
ME
TOO. BE READY TOMORROW AT 6.
Kayla
read the text out loud after reading it silently to herself.
“That’s
it? No, I’ve had a great two years too? None of that? Ugh, he’s so
unaffectionate.”
“Train
him girl. Train him.” Repeated Nikki.
***
The
next night, Nikki was at Kayla’s apartment to help her get ready for her anniversary
date with James.
“Is it weird
that I’m nervous?” Kayla asked Nikki
while she was doing her hair and helping her with makeup.
“I
don’t know. Why are you nervous?”
“I
don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.” Kayla said. Nikki shook her head and looked
at the clock.
“It’s
almost 6. Are you ready?” Nikki asked as she sat down the hot comb and
let Kayla look at the results of her hands.
“Yeah,
I think so.” Kayla said as she stepped
back in front of the mirror and looked herself over. She was wearing a clingy teal blue strapless dress
that stopped mid-way down her thigh with tan tie up heels.
“You
think I’m ready? What do you think? Is the dress too tight?”
“Girl,
only you can pull that dress off. And it
looks great on you. He’ll be drooling by
the time drink orders come.” Nikki said
as she looked at Kayla in the mirror.
“Yeah?”
Kayla asked as she pulled on the dress.
“Because I need to spice things up a little bit.”
“Yeah,
as a matter of fact. You should walk to
the bathroom right after you guys order your drinks so he can see you again in
the dress. Here’s a secret about
men. They get really excited when their
girl is walking through a room in a dress like this because he knows other men
are looking at you and they’ll be envious of him.”
“Okay.” Kayla said as she blankly stared in the
mirror.
“And
besides all of that. Just calm
down. Tonight is going to be great. You’re going on a date with a man you love,
celebrating your two year anniversary.
That’s a big deal. Enjoy
it!”
“Just
calm down. Tonight is going to be
great. You’re going on a date with a man
you love, celebrating your two year anniversary. Enjoy it!”
Kayla repeated out loud to herself in a monotone voice as she continued
to stare at herself in the mirror.
“Remember
to train him.”
“Remember
to train him.” Kayla repeated out loud
again in the same monotone voice.
“It
feels like I’m programming you.”
“It
feels like I’m programming you.” Kayla repeated in a robotic voice and started
to laugh. Nikki slapped her on the arm
and walked out of the bathroom. The
laugh helped Kayla calm down a little as she walked out into the living room to
wait for James to get there. As soon as
she sat down, her phone buzzed. She
picked it up off her coffee table.
HEY,
I’M OUTSIDE. Kayla read the text out loud.
“He’s
outside? What does that mean?”
“It
means he’s outside Nikki. He’s texting
me from the car outside in the parking lot.”
Kayla said as she got up to grab her purse.
“No
ma’am! You have to train him Kayla. Ya’ll are entering into a new season of your
lives. Two years! Your relationship
is on a whole new level. So he needs to bring his gentlemen game up to
a new level. Make him come to the
door. Train him.”
“How?”
“Tell
him that you’re not quite ready yet and he should come up here and wait for
you.”
Kayla
texted that verbatim and sat the phone back down on the coffee table. She sat on the edge of her couch to wait for
his response.
“How
long do we wait?”
“Make
him wait. Train him.” Nikki kept saying. So Kayla and Nikki just stared at the phone
for almost five minutes.
“Is
he serious? Where is he?” Nikki asked.
“Told
you. I’ll just go on down.”
“Kayla.
Sit down and make him wait.” Nikki
suggested again. So they both stared at
the clock for another five minutes.
“Told
you. I’m about to go.”
“Ok. He’s ridiculous. Well, have an attitude tonight. Bring it up that he didn’t come up to the
door and then play hard to get all night.
Make him work for it.” Nikki
winked as she gave her final advice.
“Gotcha.” Kayla returned the gestured.
“Okay. Well have fun girl!” Nikki said as she followed behind her to head
to her own apartment.
Kayla
locked up her third floor apartment and walked down the stairs. When she got to the parking lot she saw James
still sitting in his car, not moving.
Is he asleep? I knew I shouldn’t have had
him wait that long. Kayla thought to herself as she approached the
car. But as she got closer, she saw the
glow from his cell phone on his face and a large grin plastered on his
lips.
What is he doing? He better not be texting someone!?
Kayla softly walked
up to the car and opened her door. It
startled James a little bit when the car door so suddenly opened. And after seeing Kayla, he stopped in the
middle of typing a text message and put his phone in his left pocket.
“Why
didn’t you come up?” She asked.
“I
never come up.”
“But
I asked you to because I wasn’t done getting ready.”
“I
know. I didn’t mind waiting in the car.”
“Did
you even realize how long you were waiting?”
“Huh?” James said as he looked at the clock. “Oh.”
“Yeah. What were you doing? Who were you texting?”
“Nobody. What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting
like that?”
“You
didn’t come up to the door.”
“Kayla.
I never do. That walk is too long.”
“Ugh.
Whatever.” Kayla rolled her eyes and jerked her seatbelt around her body. She shoved the clip into the buckle and
flopped back in her passenger seat.
“Why
are you starting an argument on our two year anniversary about something as
petty as me coming to the door? Can you
chill out please? This is supposed to
be----”
“Okay
James! Sorry. Let’s just go!” Kayla
interrupted him because she hates being called petty.
All I asked is for you to come up to the
door. And I’m being petty. On our two year anniversary, you couldn’t
come up to the door. Kayla thought to herself as she stared at the window.
The car was silent
as James took her to a nice Italian restaurant in the downtown area. They were seated right away at a table in the
middle of the restaurant.
Well this is nice. Kayla thought to herself as they sat
down. The waiter promptly greeted them
and asked for their drink orders. As
soon as the drinks were ordered, Kayla executed what Nikki suggested.
“Where’s your
restroom?” Kayla asked the waiter as he
pointed across the restaurant.
“James, I’ll be
right back.” Kayla said as she got up
and walked away from the table. As she
walked with great posture and grace towards the restroom, she cut her eyes
across the room and noticed a few guys were checking her out. When she got to the restroom, she sat her
purse on the sink and looked in the mirror and started to check her hair and
makeup.
Nikki does such a good job with my hair and
makeup. Kayla said to herself as she
sighed. But why don’t I feel right? I don’t feel special at all right now. Kayla thought to herself as she pulled on
her dress. Kayla. Stop being petty. You know James love you. Let go of all of that stuff from earlier and enjoy
dinner with the man you love. She
said to herself as she grabbed her purse and left the restroom with a fixed
attitude.
As soon as she
turned the corner, she looked at her table.
James was texting someone again.
Are you kidding me? Who could he possibly be
texting right now? Ugh! Kayla said
to herself as she prepared to unleash some rage when she returned to the
table. But when she was a few feet from
the table, he looked up at her. He
looked as if he had just seen her for the first time as high eyes bulged out of
his head and a huge smile arose on his face.
“Kayla? Wow.”
“What?” Kayla asked now confused.
“You look so
amazing tonight.” James said, and
instantly her anger went away.
“Thank
you.” She blushed. I can’t
believe that worked.
After she sat
down, the night took a turn towards perfection.
They share a lovely dinner and great laughs. James knows how to make Kayla laugh, which is
one of the things she loves about him.
After dinner, they went for a walk up to the park that had a scenic
trial with great views of downtown and the river that flowed through the
city. They held hands and shared sweet
sentiments until Kayla started to get cold so they headed back to his
apartment.
“So,
what are you thinking we close the night with?”
James asked as they drove through town towards his apartment.
“You
have some ice cream and a movie we can watch?”
“I
have Netflix. And, I’m pretty sure there’s some ice cream in there.”
“Okay,
we can do that.”
“Any
toppings?” James asked with a wink.
“Maybe.” Kayla teased.
James grinned back at her as he turned into his apartment complex. I
really don’t want to have sex tonight.
I’m enjoying how special I feel right now. Kayla said to herself as they
parked. She felt a tightness in her
stomach growing but she ignored it.
Kayla had
noticed that every time they have sex, she has a hard time of not thinking
about all the other girls he has had sex with.
But in that moment, she was the only one being treated like a
girlfriend, and she didn’t want to lose how special that made her feel. In that moment, he was all hers.
They
entered into his apartment and James immediately flipped on his PS3 and loaded
up Netflix while Kayla fixed two bowls of chocolate ice cream. James walked up behind Kayla in the kitchen
and wrapped his arms around her. She
loved when their bodies touched. His
strong arms and 6’3 frame always comforted her.
His cell phone that was lying on the counter on silent notified him that
he had just received a text message. He
quickly picked it up and put it back into his back pocket.
“Who
was that?” Kayla asked over her
shoulder.
“Um,
just Jeff.”
“You
didn’t even look at the phone.”
“I
know. But I know its Jeff. I asked him something earlier.”
Kayla
just stared back at him. She was not
liking how distracting his cell phone had been all night. Anger began to rise up in her stomach again
because she could tell he was hiding something.
“James,
who was that?” She sternly asked as she
wiggled out of his grip.
“Baby. Chill out okay? Don’t ruin this moment with fighting.” James
said as he stepped towards her.
“Whatever.” Kayla said as she pushed away from him and
grabbed her bowl of ice cream and walked into the living room. She sat on the couch and started to flip
through Netflix’s movie choices. James
followed behind her and sat right next to her on the couch.
“Why
are you all on me?” Kayla asked as she
continued to flip through the movie selections.
“Because
I want you.” James was rubbing his hands
down her revealing leg.
“Well
I want to watch a movie.”
“But
you’re looking so nice in that dress. I
don’t want to watch a movie anymore.”
James said as he tried to remove the controller from her hand.
“James,
look. Didn’t you want to see that
movie?” Kayla tried to redirect his attention.
“Kayla,
tonight is our special night. A movie
would ruin this moment.” James said as
he leaned on her and started to kiss her on her neck.
“James.
I really want to watch a movie.” Kayla
continued to squirm away from his efforts.
“Come
on Kayla.”
“James,
seriously. Stop.” Kayla pushed away from him; but he was
relentless.
“Kayla,
I love you.” James said as he leaned on
top of her again and started to kiss her.
His hands were already reaching to unzip her dress.
“James,
seriously. I really want to watch a movie.”
Kayla kept trying to redirect his attention.
“Kayla,
come on.”
“James!
I want to watch a movie!”
“Kayla,
stop fighting it. You know you want this.”
Immediately,
Kayla had a flashback of a tragic incident that happened in her past. That sentence was a trigger to a dungeon full
of suppressed fears and emotions. Kayla
started to hyperventilate.
“Babe?” James said as he climbed off of her.
“James. Just.
Just. Take me home. Please.” Kayla said in between deep gasps of breath. James couldn’t help but stare at her as her
breathing got heavier.
“JAMES!
TAKE ME HOME!” Kayla let out a piercing
scream and violently pushed him. She
jumped off the couch and ran to the front door.
Her breathing had gotten worse as she tried to remove the chain lock
from the door. Her quivering hands
couldn’t steady enough to precisely remove the chain properly, so she punched
the door with her hand and fell to the ground.
“Kayla?
What did I…” James asked.
“JAMES!
TAKE ME HOME!” Kayla screamed again with tears streaming from her eyes. She was violently shaking with terror in her
eyes. James walked over to the door,
unchained the lock, and tried to pick her up off the ground. As soon as James reached for her, Kayla
started to punch at him.
“STOP! GET OFF
OF ME!” Kayla screamed. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was
getting worst. When she felt the draft
from the outside sweep up her legs, she jumped up and ran out the door. She skipped steps as she ran down the two
flights of stairs. Her breathing was
heavier as she ran through the parking lot.
She sprinted until one of her heels broke in a sewage drain, causing her
to fall to the ground right in front of James’s apartment complex. She crawled over to the curb and sobbed for
15 minutes as memories from her past resurfaced and started to haunt her
again. She couldn’t shake the image of
her uncle that had sexually abused her when she was 14 years old, which had
happened only 6 years before that night. That man had removed her innocence on
his account and for his own pleasure. He
had taken her virginity and left her broken and shamed.
Kayla sat on the
curb at the entrance of the apartment complex and wept there until she could
get herself together.
Kayla, be strong. James is not that man. You’re okay.
He’s not here. You’re okay. She finally started to tell herself as
she felt herself still shaking. Kayla
got up off the street and started to head towards her apartment. The dark shadows on the street were
terrifying her as she walked down the quiet street. She somehow was still holding James’s PS3
controller.
Ugh. I wish this was my cell phone. I want a ride home. Kayla thought to herself as she
walked. Even though she lived in a
reasonably safe town, Kayla was looking over her shoulder every few
seconds. But when she was halfway to her
apartment, she felt a raindrop hit her on her hand.
Oh! Please no! She said to herself as she looked up to
the sky. And as soon as she thought
that, the bottom fell out and it started to pour down raining. She sprinted towards a bus stop awning that
was about 50 yards away. She sat down on
the bench, already drenched from the rain.
No no no! Kayla screamed to
herself. My shoes are ruined! My dress is
ruined! My hair is ruined! My makeup is ruined! And I don’t have my cell phone to call for a
ride, or a friend, or James! Ugh!! And
then suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness gripped her soul deeply,
and she started to weep again.
How do I manage to get myself into these
crazy situations?
***
The
next morning Kayla was sitting in her apartment when a knock came at her
door. She sat down her journal and
walked over to see who was at the door.
She looked through the peephole and was surprised at who was standing on
the other side. Kayla immediately
blushed as she opened the door.
“Hi.” Kayla shamefully greeted.
“What’s
up?” James nervously asked.
“Come
in.”
“I,
um, brought your cell phone.”
“Oh
yeah. Thanks. I have your controller.” Kayla said as she
grabbed it from her coffee table.
“Thanks.” James said as he looked around the apartment. Kayla was trying to read him but he looked
completely emotionless.
“So? You okay?”
James asked.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry if I freaked you out or anything
last night.”
“Yeah. I didn’t know what to do.”
“I’m
sorry.”
“What
happened?”
“Nothing.
Just….” Kayla hated to tell people about her past. It always makes her feel dirty. And she hated when people pitied her; she
wasn’t in the mood for that today.
“Just,
some things from my past.”
“Kayla. What happened?”
“I
really don’t like telling people about it.
It’s nothing. Please. I don’t want to bother you with it. I’m fine.”
Kayla said.
I was honest about it with my last
boyfriend, and it scared him away. I’m
helping you James, trust me. I’m helping
us. It’s for the best.
“Okay.” James said.
His facial expression changed. He
seemed extremely uncomfortable. “Well, I
have to get going. I’ll hit you up
later.”
“Ok.” Kayla said as she watched him mentally debate
whether to hug her or not. He gave up
and headed towards the door.
No, please stay. I don’t want to ask but I would love it if
you stayed and just held me all day. I’m
still hurting. Kayla thought to
herself as she followed him to the door and watched him leave. He didn’t even turn around when he left.
Oh no.
This is about to become an issue. Kayla thought to herself as tears
started to roll down her face. Here we go again. I’ll never escape this.
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